We all have personal opinions and beliefs. My personal motto is that I try to respect everyone's choices. I'm not perfect, but I strive to be non-judgemental.
That being said, just because there is respect for personal choices doesn't mean there isn't consequences.
Sometimes you have to be able to say...You know, I care about you, but I can't watch what you're doing to yourself anymore.
I refuse to watch as someone destroys themselves. Anyone. It's just a thing I have. Been there, done that...I hope that doesn't make me judgemental...and it's never a permanent thing...something that can ALWAYS be corrected...but there are people in the world that want help, and there are people in the world that don't. I prefer to waste my time and effort on the ones that do...
Thursday, September 29, 2005
I Resemble This
A dear friend of mine sent me this email this morning. I guess I'm a pretty mean mom.
MEAN MOM
Someday when my children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates a parent,
I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me:
I loved you enough . . to ask where you were
going, with whom, and what time you would be home.
I loved you enough to be silent and let you
discover that your new best friend was a creep.
I loved you enough to make you go pay for the
bubble gum you had taken and tell the clerk,
"I stole this yesterday and want to pay for it."
I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours
while you cleaned your room, a job that should have
taken 15 minutes.
I loved you enough to let you see anger,
disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must
learn that their parents aren't perfect.
I loved you enough to let you assume the
responsibility for your actions even when the penalties
were so harsh they almost broke my heart.
But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say
NO when I knew you would hate me for it.
Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm
glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.
And someday when your children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.
Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the
meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate
candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.
When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat
sandwiches.
And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was
different from what other kids had, too.
Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times.
You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know
who our friends were, and what we were doing with them.
She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour,
we would be gone for an hour or less.
We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve
to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We had to
wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor,
do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs. I
think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to
do.
She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole
truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were
teenagers, she could read our minds and had eyes in the back of her
head.
Then, life was really tough!
Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn
when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she
could meet them. While everyone else could date when they
were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.
Because of our mother we missed out on lots of
things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught
shoplifting, vandalizing other's property or ever arrested
for any crime. It was all her fault.
Now that we have left home, we are all educated,
honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like
Mom was.
I think that is what's wrong with the world today. It
just doesn't have enough mean moms!
PASS THIS ON TO ALL THE MEAN MOTHERS YOU KNOW.
(And Their Kids!!!)
MEAN MOM
Someday when my children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates a parent,
I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me:
I loved you enough . . to ask where you were
going, with whom, and what time you would be home.
I loved you enough to be silent and let you
discover that your new best friend was a creep.
I loved you enough to make you go pay for the
bubble gum you had taken and tell the clerk,
"I stole this yesterday and want to pay for it."
I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours
while you cleaned your room, a job that should have
taken 15 minutes.
I loved you enough to let you see anger,
disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must
learn that their parents aren't perfect.
I loved you enough to let you assume the
responsibility for your actions even when the penalties
were so harsh they almost broke my heart.
But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say
NO when I knew you would hate me for it.
Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm
glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.
And someday when your children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.
Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the
meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate
candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.
When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat
sandwiches.
And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was
different from what other kids had, too.
Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times.
You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know
who our friends were, and what we were doing with them.
She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour,
we would be gone for an hour or less.
We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve
to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We had to
wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor,
do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs. I
think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to
do.
She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole
truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were
teenagers, she could read our minds and had eyes in the back of her
head.
Then, life was really tough!
Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn
when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she
could meet them. While everyone else could date when they
were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.
Because of our mother we missed out on lots of
things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught
shoplifting, vandalizing other's property or ever arrested
for any crime. It was all her fault.
Now that we have left home, we are all educated,
honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like
Mom was.
I think that is what's wrong with the world today. It
just doesn't have enough mean moms!
PASS THIS ON TO ALL THE MEAN MOTHERS YOU KNOW.
(And Their Kids!!!)
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Ramblings From My Little 'Un
I decided to treat you all to a moment in my life with my son. It started over by the washing machine..
Are those boxer shorts? Does daddy wear boxer shorts like me? Can I put the clothes in the washing machine? Talladega is going to be fun because we get to go camping. Sometimes you mess up when you're typing, don't you mom. We had to do grammar today. We had to do nouns and es's. We had to put the es on the end of everything. We also got to do the Three Pigs. Hey are you writing what I talk? Hey I just wanted to read it. When I got to be the helper today, I got to be with Vanessa and she's actually a girl. And I had to help her figure out where the blue thing went.
(I pause at this point to ask if she tried to kiss him..)...No, you're CRAZY mom.
We had TWO worksheets this morning AND had to do our math facts. It was fun but we had activities in the afternoon. We had art in the afternoon. We didn't actually learn anything in art, we just had to do lines...diagonal lines, sideways lines and straight lines.
(All of this accompanied by the appropriate hand gestures, facial movements and the occasional hopping on one foot.)
We had recess this afternoon and it was fun because we were all racing around for some reason and we got to play on this jumpy thing.
OK I'm done talking now, can I play the XBox? Watch tv? Play outside with the dog? COOL! Bye Mom.
(Sound of cartoons in the background)
Those were his words, not mine. ...And so ends a moment in the life with my little 'un.
Are those boxer shorts? Does daddy wear boxer shorts like me? Can I put the clothes in the washing machine? Talladega is going to be fun because we get to go camping. Sometimes you mess up when you're typing, don't you mom. We had to do grammar today. We had to do nouns and es's. We had to put the es on the end of everything. We also got to do the Three Pigs. Hey are you writing what I talk? Hey I just wanted to read it. When I got to be the helper today, I got to be with Vanessa and she's actually a girl. And I had to help her figure out where the blue thing went.
(I pause at this point to ask if she tried to kiss him..)...No, you're CRAZY mom.
We had TWO worksheets this morning AND had to do our math facts. It was fun but we had activities in the afternoon. We had art in the afternoon. We didn't actually learn anything in art, we just had to do lines...diagonal lines, sideways lines and straight lines.
(All of this accompanied by the appropriate hand gestures, facial movements and the occasional hopping on one foot.)
We had recess this afternoon and it was fun because we were all racing around for some reason and we got to play on this jumpy thing.
OK I'm done talking now, can I play the XBox? Watch tv? Play outside with the dog? COOL! Bye Mom.
(Sound of cartoons in the background)
Those were his words, not mine. ...And so ends a moment in the life with my little 'un.
Iced Tea and Cold Chicken
That's what I had for lunch today. I don't know what it is about cold fried chicken and an ice cold glass of tea that can just make your whole day.
Today is a day that all the parts of my brain seem to be working together as a team. That's a good thing. It's only 11:30 and the dishes are done, the laundry is washing and drying, and the bed is made. All I have in the afternoon is bathroom duty and I just might be able to squeeze in a nap today.
Doesn't get much better than that.
Today is a day that all the parts of my brain seem to be working together as a team. That's a good thing. It's only 11:30 and the dishes are done, the laundry is washing and drying, and the bed is made. All I have in the afternoon is bathroom duty and I just might be able to squeeze in a nap today.
Doesn't get much better than that.
Ahhh, Peace and Quiet
A nice treat after two unexpected days of total chaos. I do not have quiet children, for sure. I thank God for the invention of ear plugs every day, trust me. I have learned that I can have 4 conversations at one time and keep track of everything..but more than that and I don't hear a thing...
Got everything ready for Talladega...I will have some pictures to post...the kids have their bags packed already..it's so funny and my daughter got her very own PINK camping chair for her birthday. She's a nut for the color pink. She wears something pink every day.
My brother is supposed to be calling me this morning and I hate to say it, but I just don't want to talk to him. He wants to come with us and he just can't. He can't hold his liquor, doesn't know his limit, acts the fool and I don't feel like babysitting him. He's old enough to know better.
And, Talladega for our kids is a place that is a rite of passage for the boys. This is where the boundaries for alcohol are set. The atmosphere is such that it's good family fun, but at a certain age, the boys get to go and have male bonding with their father where he teaches them certain things they need to know. I guess the ogling of boobs has a lot to do with it, too.
Kids will pick the strangest things to be rites of passage, too, let me tell you. When they were 10, it was getting a house key. That got started because my husband had to give one to my oldest at that age and he had to stay by himself for like an hour or so while he was picking up the other kids. Anyway, they had a goal that they had to act a certain way in order to get the key...and so hell, we went with that...
Talladega started when my oldest son turned 16. He was in a spot of trouble and he and his dad went to the races to work it out. The other ones saw that the oldest got to go, and much like the key deal, wanted that guy time with their dad. It's about learning to be responsible, earning the privilege to have a beer with dad like a man, and each know that there is a certain level of responsibility that they must show before they get that privilege. It's about knowing your limit, maintaining your composure, and learning to spot trouble and learning how to avoid trouble. It's a fun lesson in survival. It's good and it's representative of a lot of things in their eyes. And they don't give a crap where we camp as long as we go camping every year and this is it for this year. I can't believe the summer is gone.
We have a neighbor who's a single dad who joins us every year with his son and it helped him deal with issues and get back-up from some other adults that his son respects. We have another buddy meeting us who was a single parent and around for the after-eloping party my husband and I threw..LOL! His daughter is grown and getting married soon. And, let me tell you, he had his hands full with her..she was GORGEOUS. HE thought we weren't going to last ...I have to go just to say...Ha!Ha!..and he brings his buddy who's married...but his wife doesn't do the race thing. We've been trying to get his buddy thats FROM Alabama to comeout and meet us, but his wife is from Maine, and has a pretty tight leash on him... So, it looks like once again, I'm going to be the only girl, surrounded by manly men who are nice to look at, to boot...damn, it sucks to be me, doesn't it?
And don't ya'll even go planning a Helen meet next year this time..you better consult your calendars or plan on having the meet at the race..because next fall the TRUCKS are going to Talladega and let me tell ya, the trucks are the best to watch right now. More action, a little more leeway and vehicles that can handle some fender rubbin'.
Got everything ready for Talladega...I will have some pictures to post...the kids have their bags packed already..it's so funny and my daughter got her very own PINK camping chair for her birthday. She's a nut for the color pink. She wears something pink every day.
My brother is supposed to be calling me this morning and I hate to say it, but I just don't want to talk to him. He wants to come with us and he just can't. He can't hold his liquor, doesn't know his limit, acts the fool and I don't feel like babysitting him. He's old enough to know better.
And, Talladega for our kids is a place that is a rite of passage for the boys. This is where the boundaries for alcohol are set. The atmosphere is such that it's good family fun, but at a certain age, the boys get to go and have male bonding with their father where he teaches them certain things they need to know. I guess the ogling of boobs has a lot to do with it, too.
Kids will pick the strangest things to be rites of passage, too, let me tell you. When they were 10, it was getting a house key. That got started because my husband had to give one to my oldest at that age and he had to stay by himself for like an hour or so while he was picking up the other kids. Anyway, they had a goal that they had to act a certain way in order to get the key...and so hell, we went with that...
Talladega started when my oldest son turned 16. He was in a spot of trouble and he and his dad went to the races to work it out. The other ones saw that the oldest got to go, and much like the key deal, wanted that guy time with their dad. It's about learning to be responsible, earning the privilege to have a beer with dad like a man, and each know that there is a certain level of responsibility that they must show before they get that privilege. It's about knowing your limit, maintaining your composure, and learning to spot trouble and learning how to avoid trouble. It's a fun lesson in survival. It's good and it's representative of a lot of things in their eyes. And they don't give a crap where we camp as long as we go camping every year and this is it for this year. I can't believe the summer is gone.
We have a neighbor who's a single dad who joins us every year with his son and it helped him deal with issues and get back-up from some other adults that his son respects. We have another buddy meeting us who was a single parent and around for the after-eloping party my husband and I threw..LOL! His daughter is grown and getting married soon. And, let me tell you, he had his hands full with her..she was GORGEOUS. HE thought we weren't going to last ...I have to go just to say...Ha!Ha!..and he brings his buddy who's married...but his wife doesn't do the race thing. We've been trying to get his buddy thats FROM Alabama to comeout and meet us, but his wife is from Maine, and has a pretty tight leash on him... So, it looks like once again, I'm going to be the only girl, surrounded by manly men who are nice to look at, to boot...damn, it sucks to be me, doesn't it?
And don't ya'll even go planning a Helen meet next year this time..you better consult your calendars or plan on having the meet at the race..because next fall the TRUCKS are going to Talladega and let me tell ya, the trucks are the best to watch right now. More action, a little more leeway and vehicles that can handle some fender rubbin'.
CD Review - All Jacked Up
What can I say about Gretchen? That woman has it going on!!! She really reminds me so much of myself at the same age...just a short time ago. I could relate to almost all the songs..
"One thing I've learned when you get tore up, don't start no stuff
when you're all jacked up."
And, her confidence in herself as a woman, without being conceited...
"Ain't you glad we ain't all California girls. Ain't you glad there's a few of us left that know how to rock your world."
And then there's Full Time Job..
"It's the hardest gig I've ever known. I work my fingers to the bone."
And so on. Good CD.
"One thing I've learned when you get tore up, don't start no stuff
when you're all jacked up."
And, her confidence in herself as a woman, without being conceited...
"Ain't you glad we ain't all California girls. Ain't you glad there's a few of us left that know how to rock your world."
And then there's Full Time Job..
"It's the hardest gig I've ever known. I work my fingers to the bone."
And so on. Good CD.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Interesting...
Found this quiz in some archives over at Yabu's..thought I'd take it.
What Is Your Animal Personality?
brought to you by Quizilla
What Is Your Animal Personality?
brought to you by Quizilla
Drinkin' With Gretchen Today
Oh yeah!!! Got the new cd..."All Jacked Up"...It's great. That gal is the voice of women today...and is there a man alive that doesn't have big ol crush on her? All my guys sure do...
Couple of Different Things
No school today either. Our Governor made an executive decision that school was cancelled Monday and Tuesday this week to conserve gas. This really doesn't have a negative impact on me personally, but I can see where it would others. But, this doesn't deserve a whole post because to me, it's pretty simple. The outcry came mostly from working and single mothers who said that they couldn't afford child care for those two days. One lady called the radio show and said it was going to cost her $300 for two days of child care. Now, I haven't had to spend money for child care in a long time, but if I was faced with a situation like that I would simply look at how much I was making and you can better believe that it's less than $300 for two days, right? So, why not take the two days off and spend some time with the kids and look at it as a blessing? And, then, you did your share at conserving gas, as well. What's the big deal? But, I'm wasting my breath, because most people just don't see things that way.
That being said, my real post today is about favorite things. There are some things that remain timeless and are always fun, no matter who you are. For instance, paper airplanes. Every so often I get one of those books and we make paper airplanes and fly them for HOURS. Sidewalk chalk. Sidewalk chalk is the BEST. I love watching the kids just dream up stuff and then the older ones get sucked in and sometimes our driveway is covered with a hodge podge of drawings and hopscotch blocks. That leads me to hopscotch...I still love to play hopscotch, too. And, then there are always bubbles...bubbles are timeless, too. You can chase the bubbles, or pop the bubbles, make one big bubble, or a bunch of little bubbles ..you can just watch the bubbles float on the breeze. Yo-yo's fall into that category, too.
The number one favorite boy toy though still remains .....rattlesnake eggs...anybody ever see those? My dad used to bring them every time he came to visit and the boys spent HOURS plotting their next victim.
So, can anybody think of more? I'm sure I've forgotten. This is a little exercise I like to do when shit gets too serious....
That being said, my real post today is about favorite things. There are some things that remain timeless and are always fun, no matter who you are. For instance, paper airplanes. Every so often I get one of those books and we make paper airplanes and fly them for HOURS. Sidewalk chalk. Sidewalk chalk is the BEST. I love watching the kids just dream up stuff and then the older ones get sucked in and sometimes our driveway is covered with a hodge podge of drawings and hopscotch blocks. That leads me to hopscotch...I still love to play hopscotch, too. And, then there are always bubbles...bubbles are timeless, too. You can chase the bubbles, or pop the bubbles, make one big bubble, or a bunch of little bubbles ..you can just watch the bubbles float on the breeze. Yo-yo's fall into that category, too.
The number one favorite boy toy though still remains .....rattlesnake eggs...anybody ever see those? My dad used to bring them every time he came to visit and the boys spent HOURS plotting their next victim.
So, can anybody think of more? I'm sure I've forgotten. This is a little exercise I like to do when shit gets too serious....
Monday, September 26, 2005
So, Let's Try Again
I got a litte freight trained during my last post and that sent my brain on a whole different direction.
So, let's get to the heart of the matter. I'm sure there are those of you wondering...how can I possibly be so calm knowing that my son is having sex in the same house as me...
Well, it all depends upon the kid. I have an open, honest enough relationship with my son to know that he's not really a dog. He talks like a dog...all men do...but when push comes to shove, he has never brought a girl here that he didn't really care for. Secondly, because of the nature of our relationship and the strength of our family unit, his bringing a gal here is a test of sorts to see how the rest of us react to her...and he does this with new guy friends too...and he takes our gut reactions as his gut checks, too. I am the final bastion...my reaction is taken and filed for future reference. The last one, I didn't warm to but his younger brother did. I let it slide and took a wait and watch attitude but my gut was..nope. And, that's how it played out...I feel honored in a way that our opinion means that much to him and that he respects it that much.
Anyway, he's also the oldest of 6 kids. He knows where babies come from and he's just not real inclined to have any. Poor kid, the other night he did a group run to the store and he was trying to discretely get his rubbers out of the bag and into his room...nobody but me saw him..I grinned..you'd think he'd be more sympathetic with me trying to smuggle tampons in, but he's too young to see the humor there, yet.
We had talks about other things...like how men don't have any rights and if a gal got pregnant and chose an abortion..could he live with that. We've had some pretty deep discussions about those things...so I don't worry as much. When he was at that age, he wasn't shy about asking me what was wrong with him...why did he just feel like fighting all the time...and have so much restless energy. He and his friend asked me this while my niece was visiting..we were all coming back from somewhere..and she almost choked when I said .."Honey, you just need to get laid..it'll all be good, in time." She didn't think I should have said it like that...but why not? You say it in the language that they understand...right? It makes them more comfortable, I have found...the boys anyway. Obviously, you don't talk to the girls the same way..duh...which is why it is such a challenge for women to raise boys....don't speak the same language.
Anyway, age has a lot to do with it. He isn't 15 or 16 and this is happening...Not only that, he is extremely discrete. I didn't even know she was here until he came and told me. And, he ASKED me to give her a fair chance, which is cool...I did. I sat in MY spot in the garage...just so she knew ..it was mine...and we conversed about music and stuff. She seemed to be kind of needy was my impression and she cut him off one too many times in the conversation. I started grinning and flapping my fingers to him and got a huge grin..so yeah, she talks way too much too. But we can't hold that against her...LOL! I was so good..I didn't tell any little kid stories...or any stories that would indicate how old I was or how old I was when I came into the family..any of that...it was hard because she opened the door a couple of times....
He doesn't play that leave something behind so there's an excuse to come back crap, either. He doesn't get into any of the game playing crap. If they start that, or start calling him every minute..they are outta there. And, they sure as hell aren't going to interfere with his fishing...that's been a rule since he was 11 at least. She left her sunglasses behind and he had to drive all the way back home to find them..he walks past the kitchen mumbling under his breath.."I know those things are in that f-ing purse somewhere." I stifled a giggle and then SHE came in and said "I lost my sunglasses...like I'm supposed to be her mommy too. Hell, I'm not old enough to be her mommy for christ sakes.
Funny thing is, is I think he was the deciding factor for my husband..how the oldest and I got along. We're a lot alike, the oldest and I. The same things are important to us..loyalty, honesty...
He's more man than kid now, and overall, I'm really proud of him. I think he could be happier in his life, but I also seeing him take necessary measures to ensure that.
Is it difficult living with an adult child...oh yeah..but...it has it's own rewards, and like all things, the rewards are in direct proportion to the amount of work that's put into it. It takes a LOT of practice in detachment...but that's a good thing to be able to do. I have a feeling that when he does move out, I am going to worry so much less about him than I otherwise would and that's going to be a reward in itself. When they are launched, there isn't going to be an empty nest syndrome for me...and my hope is that they are going to STAY launched...and yes, I do have an age limit...
So, let's get to the heart of the matter. I'm sure there are those of you wondering...how can I possibly be so calm knowing that my son is having sex in the same house as me...
Well, it all depends upon the kid. I have an open, honest enough relationship with my son to know that he's not really a dog. He talks like a dog...all men do...but when push comes to shove, he has never brought a girl here that he didn't really care for. Secondly, because of the nature of our relationship and the strength of our family unit, his bringing a gal here is a test of sorts to see how the rest of us react to her...and he does this with new guy friends too...and he takes our gut reactions as his gut checks, too. I am the final bastion...my reaction is taken and filed for future reference. The last one, I didn't warm to but his younger brother did. I let it slide and took a wait and watch attitude but my gut was..nope. And, that's how it played out...I feel honored in a way that our opinion means that much to him and that he respects it that much.
Anyway, he's also the oldest of 6 kids. He knows where babies come from and he's just not real inclined to have any. Poor kid, the other night he did a group run to the store and he was trying to discretely get his rubbers out of the bag and into his room...nobody but me saw him..I grinned..you'd think he'd be more sympathetic with me trying to smuggle tampons in, but he's too young to see the humor there, yet.
We had talks about other things...like how men don't have any rights and if a gal got pregnant and chose an abortion..could he live with that. We've had some pretty deep discussions about those things...so I don't worry as much. When he was at that age, he wasn't shy about asking me what was wrong with him...why did he just feel like fighting all the time...and have so much restless energy. He and his friend asked me this while my niece was visiting..we were all coming back from somewhere..and she almost choked when I said .."Honey, you just need to get laid..it'll all be good, in time." She didn't think I should have said it like that...but why not? You say it in the language that they understand...right? It makes them more comfortable, I have found...the boys anyway. Obviously, you don't talk to the girls the same way..duh...which is why it is such a challenge for women to raise boys....don't speak the same language.
Anyway, age has a lot to do with it. He isn't 15 or 16 and this is happening...Not only that, he is extremely discrete. I didn't even know she was here until he came and told me. And, he ASKED me to give her a fair chance, which is cool...I did. I sat in MY spot in the garage...just so she knew ..it was mine...and we conversed about music and stuff. She seemed to be kind of needy was my impression and she cut him off one too many times in the conversation. I started grinning and flapping my fingers to him and got a huge grin..so yeah, she talks way too much too. But we can't hold that against her...LOL! I was so good..I didn't tell any little kid stories...or any stories that would indicate how old I was or how old I was when I came into the family..any of that...it was hard because she opened the door a couple of times....
He doesn't play that leave something behind so there's an excuse to come back crap, either. He doesn't get into any of the game playing crap. If they start that, or start calling him every minute..they are outta there. And, they sure as hell aren't going to interfere with his fishing...that's been a rule since he was 11 at least. She left her sunglasses behind and he had to drive all the way back home to find them..he walks past the kitchen mumbling under his breath.."I know those things are in that f-ing purse somewhere." I stifled a giggle and then SHE came in and said "I lost my sunglasses...like I'm supposed to be her mommy too. Hell, I'm not old enough to be her mommy for christ sakes.
Funny thing is, is I think he was the deciding factor for my husband..how the oldest and I got along. We're a lot alike, the oldest and I. The same things are important to us..loyalty, honesty...
He's more man than kid now, and overall, I'm really proud of him. I think he could be happier in his life, but I also seeing him take necessary measures to ensure that.
Is it difficult living with an adult child...oh yeah..but...it has it's own rewards, and like all things, the rewards are in direct proportion to the amount of work that's put into it. It takes a LOT of practice in detachment...but that's a good thing to be able to do. I have a feeling that when he does move out, I am going to worry so much less about him than I otherwise would and that's going to be a reward in itself. When they are launched, there isn't going to be an empty nest syndrome for me...and my hope is that they are going to STAY launched...and yes, I do have an age limit...
No School Today
And, apparently, no work for my oldest son, either. Hmmm. Last I heard he was headed over to his gal's house. It was funny watching the need for female company override the need for the stew that I cooked yesterday. It was an honest to God struggle for him. I let him know that we'd save him some food. He's always in a much better mood after having a little female company.
This gal is older, too..around 27. I kind of picked up right away that she was a woman...not the girls he's been bringing over. That's kind of wierd because when I was 26, I married the boy's dad..who is 10 years older than me...at 27, I was a mother of 5...but she's different from all the younger ones...more confident, less dramatic, I'm thinking..so COOL for him! He's a bit of an old soul in some ways ...and very immature in others. I think she brings out the mature side of him, and I like that.
As I sit and type, each member of the family, including the dog will wander by and stop so I will hug them or pet them...it's kind of cool!!! Makes me lose my train of thought, but I really don't care..they are growing so fast, there's going to come a day real soon that those arms will be not chubby little kid arms any more..but man arms and woman arms...I love the way little kids hug you with their whole body...just wrap themselves around you and give a giant hug. Is there nothing more...I don't have a word for it...than a little kid hug?
Today is my daughter's birthday...9 years ago...
The pregnancy was very frought with stress...lots of life changes while I was pregnant with her. The boys had a new mommy and had just got used to me and now there was going to be a new baby to suck their attention away..and was I going to put her on the chore list? The older ones had to start sharing a room and they weren't happy about that. We had just spent the entire summer together really bonding, though and that was a good thing. We played the game Life every day and talked and dreamed. They helped me with housework, and the cleaning of the pool. My oldest one tried really, really hard to not get sucked in, to not love me, to not love the baby...to be suspicious...but he would yell at them behind my back for making me get up and down too much. He would come out and take over the chore of vacuuming the pool. He was 11 years old. He called her "It" and would walk a very wide path around her. 9 years later, he decided that he could be seen walking out of a store carrying a Hillary Duff cd to put a smile on her face.
Ahh, another interruption that also cleared up a mystery. My oldest son wandered by to let me know that the gal in question...came home with him last night and like Goldilocks, is still here. And my second impression of her is no better than my first. It seems like his friends care about him...and that's why they fixed him up with her...but he's making it a more permanent thing than any of them are comfortable with....because they've all been with her at some point in time.
Well, never mind. I just spent some time watching them interact and that pretty much settles it for me. He was using my reaction to make a decision....wow..that just hit me.
Anyhoo...the more I try and type..the more chaotic it's getting around here. I have a bunch of honey do's for these kids that stayed home today....and some of my own...Hope y'all in blogger world..have a wonderful day!
This gal is older, too..around 27. I kind of picked up right away that she was a woman...not the girls he's been bringing over. That's kind of wierd because when I was 26, I married the boy's dad..who is 10 years older than me...at 27, I was a mother of 5...but she's different from all the younger ones...more confident, less dramatic, I'm thinking..so COOL for him! He's a bit of an old soul in some ways ...and very immature in others. I think she brings out the mature side of him, and I like that.
As I sit and type, each member of the family, including the dog will wander by and stop so I will hug them or pet them...it's kind of cool!!! Makes me lose my train of thought, but I really don't care..they are growing so fast, there's going to come a day real soon that those arms will be not chubby little kid arms any more..but man arms and woman arms...I love the way little kids hug you with their whole body...just wrap themselves around you and give a giant hug. Is there nothing more...I don't have a word for it...than a little kid hug?
Today is my daughter's birthday...9 years ago...
The pregnancy was very frought with stress...lots of life changes while I was pregnant with her. The boys had a new mommy and had just got used to me and now there was going to be a new baby to suck their attention away..and was I going to put her on the chore list? The older ones had to start sharing a room and they weren't happy about that. We had just spent the entire summer together really bonding, though and that was a good thing. We played the game Life every day and talked and dreamed. They helped me with housework, and the cleaning of the pool. My oldest one tried really, really hard to not get sucked in, to not love me, to not love the baby...to be suspicious...but he would yell at them behind my back for making me get up and down too much. He would come out and take over the chore of vacuuming the pool. He was 11 years old. He called her "It" and would walk a very wide path around her. 9 years later, he decided that he could be seen walking out of a store carrying a Hillary Duff cd to put a smile on her face.
Ahh, another interruption that also cleared up a mystery. My oldest son wandered by to let me know that the gal in question...came home with him last night and like Goldilocks, is still here. And my second impression of her is no better than my first. It seems like his friends care about him...and that's why they fixed him up with her...but he's making it a more permanent thing than any of them are comfortable with....because they've all been with her at some point in time.
Well, never mind. I just spent some time watching them interact and that pretty much settles it for me. He was using my reaction to make a decision....wow..that just hit me.
Anyhoo...the more I try and type..the more chaotic it's getting around here. I have a bunch of honey do's for these kids that stayed home today....and some of my own...Hope y'all in blogger world..have a wonderful day!
Saturday, September 24, 2005
I Never Know What I'm Going To Say
When I sit down and start typing, I mostly just let my fingers do the work. I just follow them. Most of the time, I have a topic in mind but sometimes my fingers take me somewhere else entirely. Sometimes I'm as surprised by what my post is as other people are. You know, you go to people's blogs with the thought, "gee, I wonder what so and so has to say today." Most people don't wonder, "Gee, I wonder what I'm going to say today." I think.
I like blogging and computer communication because I get a limited amount of interaction with people. Limiting my interaction with people has helped my mental state a lot. For some people, being reclusive is bad and it's bad for me in some ways too..but it's better in others.
I have been gifted/cursed with a sympathetic face and an empathetic heart. Anywhere I go, someone sees me and and as simple a question as "How are you today?" will spark a life story of sadness and despair and this look of hope will come into their eyes...and I find it so hard to not feel, not understand...not help.
I connect with people...so deeply that it's dangerous for me. I don't know why it happens or how to stop it..but it happens.
For example...my son was dating a gal...I went to pick her and her friends up and had a brief conversation with the mom about how they were going to be supervised..not to worry. The very next time I hear from her is like 2 weeks later..she doesn't even remember my name, but she knows, somehow, that I will come and get her kids and take care of them while she goes to jail.
People call me a mind reader. I am not a mind reader although it really appears that way...it freaks people out...I just have an uncanny ability to read body language and eyes (the eyes NEVER lie)and interpret my findings. I have to know a LITTLE about the person before I can do that..but again, it's usually not hard.
When my best friend was in labor, I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep that night. She called me in the early morning hours, and she started going into labor the very minute I woke up..it was wierd.
Every single time I think about a person and wonder really hard, I get an email or a phone call...so many times, it's uncanny...it wierds my husband out a little, too.
I am guided very much by instinct although I don't trust it. I always double-check my instincts with fact, when time allows. See, when I said I don't trust anyone, anytime, anywhere...I include myself in that...I don't even trust myself.
If I'm to be around people, crowds are good..then I can draw off the ENERGY of the crowd, without things being too personal.
It's gotten to the point that I really can't even go to the corner store without it taking half an hour or more. Just to get a soda and a pack of cigarettes. There are so many people there that are just waiting for eye contact or a smile or some kind of acknowledgement as the go signal to start filling me or us if my husband is with me in on all the things going on ...problems they're having that we might have the answer to. I don't know when we became the answer people..but God Forbid you make a mistake, the diappointment..the letdown..the guilt trips for being human and needing a break from the neediness of the world....
I have had experiences where I dream I am having a conversation with people, living and dead, and come away with understanding of things I had no clue of before. Waking up, KNOWING that I am never going to remember the details, only the knowledge...wisdom..whatever...
I have had waking experiences where I can feel the presence of things..and it's reflected in my mood. When my father was dying, at one point while I was just sitting with him...I had this overwhelming sense of joy..real, honest joy because there came this sudden understanding that he was going to a really cool, place. It was a totally inappropriate feeling for the circumstances, and very confusing until I could gain enough distance to analyze it. I had a waking experience as a kid where my guardian angel revealed himself to me. Yes, it was a male.
That was the most overt experience I've ever had. Other than the psychic lady I went to visit. And not a 800 number psychic...this was a lady that was introduced to me by my best friend, who dated her son. I have a tape of the session and it's still freaky. This lady knew things about my own grandmother, whom she claimed was present, that I had to ASK someone in my family about because I didn't know.
This same woman said I had the same 'gift' as her..but it was very undeveloped. That is the only explanation...other than that I am off my rocker.(grandiose, delusional thinking?)..that even comes close to making sense to me. But that sure doesn't hold with any other modern day religion.
These glimpses of the ...beyond...tease me...I know I haven't learned enough humility to see more than the glimpses. I'm not sure I want to know, sometimes, but my inevitable, insatiable, curiosity makes me want to know anyway. Just to prove to myself that I'm not crazy.
I have looked for answers in every single religion and each religion has provided it's own revelation, if you will...but nothing on the whole that explains things satisfactorily to me. I believe the answer lies in the whole. Kabballah explains some things, but not all...protestantism explains some but not all, Catholicism, the same...I am sure the history of muslims contains a piece of the puzzle too.
I constantly question my own sanity...I hate that...I don't FEEL insane...but crazy people don't know they're crazy, either...I'm wrong often enough for that to be a real possibility in my mind. But, I don't trust docs either..and that's a learned thing. They expect this unquestioning obedience to their prescriptions and I have a hard time giving unquestioning obedience to anyone. You better know what the f you're talking about if you expect me to put something in my body, you know? And if I'm telling you that I cannot deal with the side effects of gaining 40 lbs in 2 weeks, then dammit, if you don't listen to me as the patient..you have lost my respect. There is only one explanation in their eyes for feelings like mine and the only answer is to drug it away...and I can't live like that.
Some days I just don't know what to do with all these feelings. So, do you people out in blog world have any thoughts on this. Don't be afraid to say what you think...really. I value honesty more than anything in this world. Hopefully, this post sheds a little light on that. I'm sure not getting any new insights by typing it...
I like blogging and computer communication because I get a limited amount of interaction with people. Limiting my interaction with people has helped my mental state a lot. For some people, being reclusive is bad and it's bad for me in some ways too..but it's better in others.
I have been gifted/cursed with a sympathetic face and an empathetic heart. Anywhere I go, someone sees me and and as simple a question as "How are you today?" will spark a life story of sadness and despair and this look of hope will come into their eyes...and I find it so hard to not feel, not understand...not help.
I connect with people...so deeply that it's dangerous for me. I don't know why it happens or how to stop it..but it happens.
For example...my son was dating a gal...I went to pick her and her friends up and had a brief conversation with the mom about how they were going to be supervised..not to worry. The very next time I hear from her is like 2 weeks later..she doesn't even remember my name, but she knows, somehow, that I will come and get her kids and take care of them while she goes to jail.
People call me a mind reader. I am not a mind reader although it really appears that way...it freaks people out...I just have an uncanny ability to read body language and eyes (the eyes NEVER lie)and interpret my findings. I have to know a LITTLE about the person before I can do that..but again, it's usually not hard.
When my best friend was in labor, I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep that night. She called me in the early morning hours, and she started going into labor the very minute I woke up..it was wierd.
Every single time I think about a person and wonder really hard, I get an email or a phone call...so many times, it's uncanny...it wierds my husband out a little, too.
I am guided very much by instinct although I don't trust it. I always double-check my instincts with fact, when time allows. See, when I said I don't trust anyone, anytime, anywhere...I include myself in that...I don't even trust myself.
If I'm to be around people, crowds are good..then I can draw off the ENERGY of the crowd, without things being too personal.
It's gotten to the point that I really can't even go to the corner store without it taking half an hour or more. Just to get a soda and a pack of cigarettes. There are so many people there that are just waiting for eye contact or a smile or some kind of acknowledgement as the go signal to start filling me or us if my husband is with me in on all the things going on ...problems they're having that we might have the answer to. I don't know when we became the answer people..but God Forbid you make a mistake, the diappointment..the letdown..the guilt trips for being human and needing a break from the neediness of the world....
I have had experiences where I dream I am having a conversation with people, living and dead, and come away with understanding of things I had no clue of before. Waking up, KNOWING that I am never going to remember the details, only the knowledge...wisdom..whatever...
I have had waking experiences where I can feel the presence of things..and it's reflected in my mood. When my father was dying, at one point while I was just sitting with him...I had this overwhelming sense of joy..real, honest joy because there came this sudden understanding that he was going to a really cool, place. It was a totally inappropriate feeling for the circumstances, and very confusing until I could gain enough distance to analyze it. I had a waking experience as a kid where my guardian angel revealed himself to me. Yes, it was a male.
That was the most overt experience I've ever had. Other than the psychic lady I went to visit. And not a 800 number psychic...this was a lady that was introduced to me by my best friend, who dated her son. I have a tape of the session and it's still freaky. This lady knew things about my own grandmother, whom she claimed was present, that I had to ASK someone in my family about because I didn't know.
This same woman said I had the same 'gift' as her..but it was very undeveloped. That is the only explanation...other than that I am off my rocker.(grandiose, delusional thinking?)..that even comes close to making sense to me. But that sure doesn't hold with any other modern day religion.
These glimpses of the ...beyond...tease me...I know I haven't learned enough humility to see more than the glimpses. I'm not sure I want to know, sometimes, but my inevitable, insatiable, curiosity makes me want to know anyway. Just to prove to myself that I'm not crazy.
I have looked for answers in every single religion and each religion has provided it's own revelation, if you will...but nothing on the whole that explains things satisfactorily to me. I believe the answer lies in the whole. Kabballah explains some things, but not all...protestantism explains some but not all, Catholicism, the same...I am sure the history of muslims contains a piece of the puzzle too.
I constantly question my own sanity...I hate that...I don't FEEL insane...but crazy people don't know they're crazy, either...I'm wrong often enough for that to be a real possibility in my mind. But, I don't trust docs either..and that's a learned thing. They expect this unquestioning obedience to their prescriptions and I have a hard time giving unquestioning obedience to anyone. You better know what the f you're talking about if you expect me to put something in my body, you know? And if I'm telling you that I cannot deal with the side effects of gaining 40 lbs in 2 weeks, then dammit, if you don't listen to me as the patient..you have lost my respect. There is only one explanation in their eyes for feelings like mine and the only answer is to drug it away...and I can't live like that.
Some days I just don't know what to do with all these feelings. So, do you people out in blog world have any thoughts on this. Don't be afraid to say what you think...really. I value honesty more than anything in this world. Hopefully, this post sheds a little light on that. I'm sure not getting any new insights by typing it...
Friday, September 23, 2005
My Father In Law
My father in law is the coolest. He's a very methodical man. Everything is very precise. His language, his writing, his record keeping, his organization of things...everything. He is the most organized person I know. I envy his organizational skills.
He's a quiet man, as well. However, when he does speak, you better sit up and listen to him, because what he has to say is totally worth listening to.
Things have been so hectic every time we've gotten together as a family, I usually only get one opportunity to sit and visit with him for any length of time. Unfortunately, a lot of those times we've been together have been under great duress.
Like the first time I met my in laws. They came to help take care of the kids while my husband was in the hospital having his hip replaced. I rather think they were my husband's back up, at this point because we had only been married 6 weeks before that happened. It was good that they were there because I got to spend a lot of time at the hospital helping him get on his feet.
At that point in time, we didn't have much of a routine. As a single parent on a rotating watch schedule, I had never developed a 'dinner' time. We ate after I got done cooking it when I came home from work. I did cook and sit with my son for meals..but the nature of the job meant crazy hours.
So, my mother in law's first job was to train me on how to keep a regular schedule because my father in law is diabetic and his whole life revolves around his blood sugar. He doesn't have the easy kind to manage either..some days are just a series of highs and lows for him and those days generally suck bad. Anyway, so my father in law and I head out to the hospital to wait for my husband's operation.
All I knew is that we were at McDonald's every 3 hours. He described to me what it felt like to go into a low, we worried out loud together and he talked of my mother in law, who at that point in my life, was the most fearsome woman I have ever met. His eyes got all ...misty...and full of love when he was talking about her, I will never forget that. They have been married for 60+ years now.
Back in the day, my mother in law could have some fights that would tear the roof down. I tried very hard to pick my battles. I had to pay for the sins of the first wife, in a way, and I made my own mistakes. I was advised to just 'take' what my mother in law was handing out...but I couldn't...I had to stand up for myself, but I didn't fight dirty. I fought fair and we achieved a mutual respect.
What my father in law would do would be to get me out of the line of fire sometimes. Never was a word spoken but he would invite me down to his workshop to look at bandsaws so I would know what to get for my husband. I have spent hours in that workshop just inhaling the scent...seeing the different wooden toys that he's made. We have many of the wooden cars, and games and a map that he made. He also did cut, stained, glass. We never had many conversations then. It's always a hug and "I love you" when we leave.
This last time, I took some time out and sat with him, but he knows that Mom sends me to make sure he eats his snack sometimes and was pissed because he thought I was sent to babysit him. It was cool. I let him be pissed...then he got up and I didn't and he looked at me, and I smiled at him and he knew I was just there to be with him, and it was all good.
But, I don't know things about him...what his favorite color is, any of the regular stuff you know about people...and that feels wierd. I've had probably 6-7 conversations with him one-on-one over the years and each one I remember because there was a lesson..and the other three he was approaching a low and we were eating and getting through it together...but know him...I don't..and that makes me sad.
I console myself with the knowledge that though I don't know certain things, I do indeed know him...is that possible. I've had dreams of him where we've had these conversations and I wake up knowing things....I felt wierd til my husband said he had them too. Now how wierd is that.
One day real soon, I'm going to be writing a different story about my father in law. One that isn't so happy, but perhaps that will have a few more details about what makes him such a wonderful man.
But for now, I have a book to send him that I absolutely know he'll enjoy. That makes me happy, that perhaps I can bring just a little joy into his very narrowed world right now. He always says...Getting old isn't for sissies..and he's sure no sissy.
He's a quiet man, as well. However, when he does speak, you better sit up and listen to him, because what he has to say is totally worth listening to.
Things have been so hectic every time we've gotten together as a family, I usually only get one opportunity to sit and visit with him for any length of time. Unfortunately, a lot of those times we've been together have been under great duress.
Like the first time I met my in laws. They came to help take care of the kids while my husband was in the hospital having his hip replaced. I rather think they were my husband's back up, at this point because we had only been married 6 weeks before that happened. It was good that they were there because I got to spend a lot of time at the hospital helping him get on his feet.
At that point in time, we didn't have much of a routine. As a single parent on a rotating watch schedule, I had never developed a 'dinner' time. We ate after I got done cooking it when I came home from work. I did cook and sit with my son for meals..but the nature of the job meant crazy hours.
So, my mother in law's first job was to train me on how to keep a regular schedule because my father in law is diabetic and his whole life revolves around his blood sugar. He doesn't have the easy kind to manage either..some days are just a series of highs and lows for him and those days generally suck bad. Anyway, so my father in law and I head out to the hospital to wait for my husband's operation.
All I knew is that we were at McDonald's every 3 hours. He described to me what it felt like to go into a low, we worried out loud together and he talked of my mother in law, who at that point in my life, was the most fearsome woman I have ever met. His eyes got all ...misty...and full of love when he was talking about her, I will never forget that. They have been married for 60+ years now.
Back in the day, my mother in law could have some fights that would tear the roof down. I tried very hard to pick my battles. I had to pay for the sins of the first wife, in a way, and I made my own mistakes. I was advised to just 'take' what my mother in law was handing out...but I couldn't...I had to stand up for myself, but I didn't fight dirty. I fought fair and we achieved a mutual respect.
What my father in law would do would be to get me out of the line of fire sometimes. Never was a word spoken but he would invite me down to his workshop to look at bandsaws so I would know what to get for my husband. I have spent hours in that workshop just inhaling the scent...seeing the different wooden toys that he's made. We have many of the wooden cars, and games and a map that he made. He also did cut, stained, glass. We never had many conversations then. It's always a hug and "I love you" when we leave.
This last time, I took some time out and sat with him, but he knows that Mom sends me to make sure he eats his snack sometimes and was pissed because he thought I was sent to babysit him. It was cool. I let him be pissed...then he got up and I didn't and he looked at me, and I smiled at him and he knew I was just there to be with him, and it was all good.
But, I don't know things about him...what his favorite color is, any of the regular stuff you know about people...and that feels wierd. I've had probably 6-7 conversations with him one-on-one over the years and each one I remember because there was a lesson..and the other three he was approaching a low and we were eating and getting through it together...but know him...I don't..and that makes me sad.
I console myself with the knowledge that though I don't know certain things, I do indeed know him...is that possible. I've had dreams of him where we've had these conversations and I wake up knowing things....I felt wierd til my husband said he had them too. Now how wierd is that.
One day real soon, I'm going to be writing a different story about my father in law. One that isn't so happy, but perhaps that will have a few more details about what makes him such a wonderful man.
But for now, I have a book to send him that I absolutely know he'll enjoy. That makes me happy, that perhaps I can bring just a little joy into his very narrowed world right now. He always says...Getting old isn't for sissies..and he's sure no sissy.
And One More
A stoner is standing in front of a pop machine. He keeps putting in dollars and sodas keep coming out. Soon, he has like 12 sodas on the ground at his feet. A passerby sees him and asks "What the hell are you doing?" The stoner replies "Duh! I'm WINNING!"
Another Stoner Joke
What's the number one question to ask when you want to confuse a stoner?
What were we talking about again?
What were we talking about again?
On The Subject Of Rockets
This is what happens when you introduce boys to the joys of rockets.
It was a dark night. My husband was out of town. His best friend, wife, and their ADHD child were visiting that weekend. First the damn cat pissed all over their luggage. Then, the boys were taking forever to settle down.
Finally, at midnight, we all settle down to go to sleep. The rocket boys were in the bedroom across the hall from me. I laid down to read my book and relax for a minute before going to sleep and I hear this "Whoosh" and I said to myself.."Self, WHAT was that?"
Then, there's the two rocket boys running out of the hall...one of them is dancing because his SOCKS were on fire. There is an acrid smell and a LOT of smoke coming from their bedroom and as soon as I turned the light on, I quickly realized what that noise was I heard.
Yes, those little dumbasses lit that sucker IN THE DARK..trying to launch it out the window. Well, it missed the window...and ricocheted all around the room...thank Heaven they didn't have it set up for all three stages...
My son had third degree burns on his fingers...that was ugly for awhile.
I wasn't laughing at the time. If I recall correctly, there was a lot of yelling going on that particular evening while the nurse (me) was performing her duties. There was a bit of yelling from the best friend, too. Somehow it was MY fault they got into this...he said something about them being supervised..hello...I gave him the LOOK..and he kind of shut up after that. I chewed that boy's ass between doctoring him and hugging him for like 2 hours, bless his heart....he never did that again.
Ahhh, just one of the adventures of motherhood...and I really wouldn't change a thing.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Trust
Anybody out there have issues with trust?
I have always had trust issues..well, I don't have an issue with it..other people do.
I don't trust anybody, anytime, anywhere...period.
Maybe that's my problem.
I have always had trust issues..well, I don't have an issue with it..other people do.
I don't trust anybody, anytime, anywhere...period.
Maybe that's my problem.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
My Head Runneth Over
I'm sure a lot of you can appreciate that, although some of you not in quite the same way as others...get your minds out of the gutter...
Today is Wednesday..again..already...I am worried once again and feverishly watching for news of Rita. Once again, in the holding pattern...waiting...praying....
Today it's pretty peaceful around here, so far. We spent the day eating and working on the wagon getting it ready for travel to Talladega. We finalized our entertainment plans...(horseshoes, frisbee, spare battery, cd player and speakers)and cooking method..(over the fire..everything tastes good) and sleeping arrangements. The older ones were concerned that the presence of the younger ones were going to ruin their party time, to which they were assured that it would not.
Funny thing how Talladega started...when my husband and I first married ..some 10 years ago...he told me that the only race he ever wanted to see live was that one...so when my oldest son turned 16, they had plans to do the father/son thing. It turns out that my son got in trouble at school and got suspended for possession. I can remember to this day the hang dog look on my husband's face. He said, "I guess that means we can't go to Talladega now..." and I said, "Hey, you can't take the boy's birthday away just because he's an idiot...just use your time wisely." They went, and he did...but then it became a rite of passage..something for the other ones to aspire to..so when the next one came of age...off they went...male bonding..he-man woman haters club and all that...beer...and this is where they learn how to party responsibly and how to conduct themselves. My neighbor and his son started going the very next year and it was a joint effort on the parts of both of them. It was a place where they weren't fathers and sons..but men...they ogled tits together, I'm sure..and whatever...
But every year those bastards would forget something...and I would have to drive all the way there and all the way back...one time I had to pull an all nighter because I hit traffic on the way back to Atlanta...and the final time, I had to take my 17 yr old after a state comptetition of some kind that ran over. I drove all the way out there...dropped him off, unloaded the whole carload of stuff they decided I could bring..took my husband in the tent, did him till his knees were weak...and then he packed me and the little ones off in the car...drove us to the entrance and sent me home. I felt like I had been on a date and overstayed my welcome or something...After they got home from that trip, I told them they could still have their he-man woman haters club if that's what they really wanted, but this woman that they were hating wasn't driving out there to drop one more carload of stuff without staying..they could either bring it all, or bring me too. They chose me...wise man I have for a husband. He did get to see, after all, what it could be like for him ...hehehe. So, now I get to go to Talladega...and the best part is...is that my husband's buddies that they are meeting...are a coupla guys who can fix some food without a woman's help...so when the three of us get to cooking, it's going to be feast city!!!! I swear the best dinners are the ones my husband and I cook together...everything we do together turns out better....it's so cool!
With those guys, I know that my hubby can relax a bit because they all have each other's back. One of the guys was so upset when we got married, he came over and let me know loud and clear that he was upset that I was ruining the boys club...he was a single parent too...and he was the first to admit last year that he was among those that doubted the strength of our love and commitment to each other. He clearly thought it wasn't going to last...but he was so overjoyed that he was wrong and STUNNED at how much I had grown up. See, I am about 10 years younger than my husband...right on that edge of where age difference can cause a problem....but I guess I fit in everywhere...oddly enough...I'm not sure how that works, really...I know with my husband, he realized that his time would be a lot better if I were along...we just really enjoy each others' company...but the boys will always come first...it's just how it is in any situation like that. I'm just glad that we like each other enough and are blended enough that it's not really an issue....it's the little ones that are an issue and gee, the other kids of mine don't have to worry about it....I got the kid patrol..wouldn't have it any other way...so that is so cool with them...and by saying it that way..I'll be sure to be able to get out and get wild too....that's just how they are...
So, Talladega is approaching...I am so looking forward to it...good friends, good times, good beer, good racing, good ol' boys, and good family fun...all rolled into one. There will be much consumption of beer and a lot of fun. Don't know if we're including the dog...but she's not mine to watch...she's such a good dog, though, it really doesn't matter.
And to think, when I started typing, I had every intention of telling the blog world about the significance of two pieces of bacon. Don't let me forget that one...k?
Today is Wednesday..again..already...I am worried once again and feverishly watching for news of Rita. Once again, in the holding pattern...waiting...praying....
Today it's pretty peaceful around here, so far. We spent the day eating and working on the wagon getting it ready for travel to Talladega. We finalized our entertainment plans...(horseshoes, frisbee, spare battery, cd player and speakers)and cooking method..(over the fire..everything tastes good) and sleeping arrangements. The older ones were concerned that the presence of the younger ones were going to ruin their party time, to which they were assured that it would not.
Funny thing how Talladega started...when my husband and I first married ..some 10 years ago...he told me that the only race he ever wanted to see live was that one...so when my oldest son turned 16, they had plans to do the father/son thing. It turns out that my son got in trouble at school and got suspended for possession. I can remember to this day the hang dog look on my husband's face. He said, "I guess that means we can't go to Talladega now..." and I said, "Hey, you can't take the boy's birthday away just because he's an idiot...just use your time wisely." They went, and he did...but then it became a rite of passage..something for the other ones to aspire to..so when the next one came of age...off they went...male bonding..he-man woman haters club and all that...beer...and this is where they learn how to party responsibly and how to conduct themselves. My neighbor and his son started going the very next year and it was a joint effort on the parts of both of them. It was a place where they weren't fathers and sons..but men...they ogled tits together, I'm sure..and whatever...
But every year those bastards would forget something...and I would have to drive all the way there and all the way back...one time I had to pull an all nighter because I hit traffic on the way back to Atlanta...and the final time, I had to take my 17 yr old after a state comptetition of some kind that ran over. I drove all the way out there...dropped him off, unloaded the whole carload of stuff they decided I could bring..took my husband in the tent, did him till his knees were weak...and then he packed me and the little ones off in the car...drove us to the entrance and sent me home. I felt like I had been on a date and overstayed my welcome or something...After they got home from that trip, I told them they could still have their he-man woman haters club if that's what they really wanted, but this woman that they were hating wasn't driving out there to drop one more carload of stuff without staying..they could either bring it all, or bring me too. They chose me...wise man I have for a husband. He did get to see, after all, what it could be like for him ...hehehe. So, now I get to go to Talladega...and the best part is...is that my husband's buddies that they are meeting...are a coupla guys who can fix some food without a woman's help...so when the three of us get to cooking, it's going to be feast city!!!! I swear the best dinners are the ones my husband and I cook together...everything we do together turns out better....it's so cool!
With those guys, I know that my hubby can relax a bit because they all have each other's back. One of the guys was so upset when we got married, he came over and let me know loud and clear that he was upset that I was ruining the boys club...he was a single parent too...and he was the first to admit last year that he was among those that doubted the strength of our love and commitment to each other. He clearly thought it wasn't going to last...but he was so overjoyed that he was wrong and STUNNED at how much I had grown up. See, I am about 10 years younger than my husband...right on that edge of where age difference can cause a problem....but I guess I fit in everywhere...oddly enough...I'm not sure how that works, really...I know with my husband, he realized that his time would be a lot better if I were along...we just really enjoy each others' company...but the boys will always come first...it's just how it is in any situation like that. I'm just glad that we like each other enough and are blended enough that it's not really an issue....it's the little ones that are an issue and gee, the other kids of mine don't have to worry about it....I got the kid patrol..wouldn't have it any other way...so that is so cool with them...and by saying it that way..I'll be sure to be able to get out and get wild too....that's just how they are...
So, Talladega is approaching...I am so looking forward to it...good friends, good times, good beer, good racing, good ol' boys, and good family fun...all rolled into one. There will be much consumption of beer and a lot of fun. Don't know if we're including the dog...but she's not mine to watch...she's such a good dog, though, it really doesn't matter.
And to think, when I started typing, I had every intention of telling the blog world about the significance of two pieces of bacon. Don't let me forget that one...k?
Monday, September 19, 2005
Men's Rights
After reading some of the comments I received on the Saturday post, I am wondering perhaps if I said it right.
PawPaw provided me with a link to a wonderful article about men and how they think that was VERY illuminating.
GuyK has an excellent series over at his place called Battle of the Sexes in several parts. This part that I have highlighted here is what got me to thinking the most.
These men are not the types of men that I am speaking of. They do not have questions about their role in life, their role in the lives of their wives, or their children. These questions are for the OTHER men out there...
And, before I start, understand that I'm not dogging women or their accomplishments..I am one and I appreciate the fact that I am able to choose to be home taking care of my children rather than it be something that I have no choice but do.
When are men going to have the same choices? Things are not equal in the world, no matter how hard we try to pretend that they are. In their own ways, men are just as oppressed in this day and age than women ever were.
How many men feel the need to stay in bad relationships because that's the only way they are going to get to see their children?
How many men are confident that if they sue for custody, they would win? How many men would even try at this point in the game? I have known men who have been just as abused as any battered woman...stay because of the kids.
How many men have the choice to work ...or not..and stay home to take care of the house primarily?
How many women actually pay child support and of the ones that do, do they pay enough? How many men would actually sue for child support?
When are men going to be recognized as nurturers and capable of taking care of their children...without help from a woman?
I honestly don't think the intent of the idea that women should get equal pay for equal work and recognition for our unique accomplishments hardly translates over into what it is today. Women are going to have to recognize that they cannot have it all. Something is going to give someday and women are going to get more equality than they've bargained for.
I can remember after the Tailhook Scandal of '91 how difficult life became in the military for men to even do their jobs. They were afraid to say a woman looked nice for fear of sexual harrassment charges. Previously happy working environments were turned into places of hostility and suspicion. Men were in fear for their careers because women were considered to be automatically right. And, you better believe there were plenty of unfounded accusations floating around..just because some woman had a grudge and were handed the axe in which to behead the person that she was pissed at.
I have no doubt that it is the same today. When are men going to be able to work in a non-hostile environment?
I'm just saying.....
PawPaw provided me with a link to a wonderful article about men and how they think that was VERY illuminating.
GuyK has an excellent series over at his place called Battle of the Sexes in several parts. This part that I have highlighted here is what got me to thinking the most.
These men are not the types of men that I am speaking of. They do not have questions about their role in life, their role in the lives of their wives, or their children. These questions are for the OTHER men out there...
And, before I start, understand that I'm not dogging women or their accomplishments..I am one and I appreciate the fact that I am able to choose to be home taking care of my children rather than it be something that I have no choice but do.
When are men going to have the same choices? Things are not equal in the world, no matter how hard we try to pretend that they are. In their own ways, men are just as oppressed in this day and age than women ever were.
How many men feel the need to stay in bad relationships because that's the only way they are going to get to see their children?
How many men are confident that if they sue for custody, they would win? How many men would even try at this point in the game? I have known men who have been just as abused as any battered woman...stay because of the kids.
How many men have the choice to work ...or not..and stay home to take care of the house primarily?
How many women actually pay child support and of the ones that do, do they pay enough? How many men would actually sue for child support?
When are men going to be recognized as nurturers and capable of taking care of their children...without help from a woman?
I honestly don't think the intent of the idea that women should get equal pay for equal work and recognition for our unique accomplishments hardly translates over into what it is today. Women are going to have to recognize that they cannot have it all. Something is going to give someday and women are going to get more equality than they've bargained for.
I can remember after the Tailhook Scandal of '91 how difficult life became in the military for men to even do their jobs. They were afraid to say a woman looked nice for fear of sexual harrassment charges. Previously happy working environments were turned into places of hostility and suspicion. Men were in fear for their careers because women were considered to be automatically right. And, you better believe there were plenty of unfounded accusations floating around..just because some woman had a grudge and were handed the axe in which to behead the person that she was pissed at.
I have no doubt that it is the same today. When are men going to be able to work in a non-hostile environment?
I'm just saying.....
Monkey in the Jungle
There was a monkey in the jungle, sitting on a branch smoking a hooter.
A lizard wanders by and says "Hey, whatcha doing?"
The monkey says "Smoking a hooter..want a hit...just climb on up."
The lizard climbs on up and starts smoking with the monkey.
After awhile he gets this horrible case of cotton mouth and says to the monkey.."Hey dude, I'm going down to the river to get a drink."
He starts to climb off the branch, but because he's so stoned, he falls off and lands in the river.
An alligator swimming by sees the lizard fall into the water and pushes him up to the edge of the bank.
The alligator asks the lizard, "What happened, how did you wind up in the river?"
The lizard says, "There's a monkey in the jungle over there and he's smoking a hooter." The alligator replies, "I HAVE to see this" and wanders over to the tree where the monkey is finishing up his hooter.
The alligator says "Hey, can I have some of that?"
The monkey looks down and says "DUDE, how much water did you drink?"
A lizard wanders by and says "Hey, whatcha doing?"
The monkey says "Smoking a hooter..want a hit...just climb on up."
The lizard climbs on up and starts smoking with the monkey.
After awhile he gets this horrible case of cotton mouth and says to the monkey.."Hey dude, I'm going down to the river to get a drink."
He starts to climb off the branch, but because he's so stoned, he falls off and lands in the river.
An alligator swimming by sees the lizard fall into the water and pushes him up to the edge of the bank.
The alligator asks the lizard, "What happened, how did you wind up in the river?"
The lizard says, "There's a monkey in the jungle over there and he's smoking a hooter." The alligator replies, "I HAVE to see this" and wanders over to the tree where the monkey is finishing up his hooter.
The alligator says "Hey, can I have some of that?"
The monkey looks down and says "DUDE, how much water did you drink?"
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Live from My House
The posse is here tonight cooking steaks and drinking beers...
Overheard one of them saying "Fuck pretending to be a Katrina victim to get money...do you know how much ASS you can get by pretending to be a Katrina victim...get back to you on that."
Talk amongst yourselves ...
Overheard one of them saying "Fuck pretending to be a Katrina victim to get money...do you know how much ASS you can get by pretending to be a Katrina victim...get back to you on that."
Talk amongst yourselves ...
Saturday Morning Thoughts
I was just thinking this morning...What is going to happen when men start demanding their own equality?
What's going to happen when men realize that they don't need women to do their cooking and cleaning and raising of their kids? This is the same way that women have come to realize they don't need men to support them financially, that they too can earn a living out in the workplace.
It's bound to happen as more and more men are forced to take on more and more responsibility at home in order to support their wives new careers.
For me, I entered into a relationship where I was almost equal to my husband. I didn't have the earning capability that he did and still don't...but as far as everything else goes, we had equal skill. There are no power struggles over who takes the trash out between he and I (the kids are a different story) or who does the dishes. We just do these things together because they are genderless jobs..everybody has to take the trash out and do the dishes. This is nice. If I want something done, I don't have to nag the shit out of someone to do it, he knows I am capable of using tools properly.
As a result of having confidence in our abilities to run a household, many of the head games that get played between married couples just don't exist. I don't "cut him off" or use any kind of power play like that and he doesn't forbid me to do stuff that he feels threatened by...There isn't any sneaking of money for this purchase or that purchase.
There's a lot of security to be had by being married to someone you have faith in. He knows that if anything were to happen to him, I would take care of things and the kids. I would do what was necessary. The same goes for him. I know that if something were to happen to me, he'd be able to handle the job. Those are the good things that can come out of an 'equal' relationship. The work isn't always equal...it's the peace of mind.
Now some people, I suppose would be threatened by that kind of relationship where the flip side is...that you can be replaced. Say, if I were to get some wild hair up my ass (which I wouldn't cuz it's like cutting off your nose to spite your face) to cut my husband off from sex because he didn't fix my car, for example. Here's how it would play out...he'd fix my car, because it's the right thing to do. Then, he'd pack my shit in my car and send me on down the road and get his piece of ass somewhere else. That sounds mean, I know...but I'm the same way and he knows it. Now, you can take that as a fact, or take that as a threat...but what it is, is simply a fact. The children deserve parents who are open and honest with each other and don't play games like that. We think our children don't understand nuances and that they can't feel the undercurrents of our marriages...but they can.
It's important for us to raise our children to be independent and successful individuals while still understanding the value of teamwork and family. Though I am the main cook and bottle washer...each of my boys knows how to cook and follow a recipe. They also know how to wash their own clothes, using all the settings on the washer and dryer properly, and do anything else they need to to do care for themselves. My daughter knows how to take out the trash and do anything else that needs to be done. It's important for her to be raised the same way.
It's not always easy. Sometimes there are power struggles over issues like jobs. For a time, I really thought the answer to some of our problems was to go and get a job. My husband quickly pointed out to me that he didn't have time to do my job too...and did I REALLY want his job? No, I guess I didn't...and that's cool too. It finally got settled in my mind so I can concentrate on doing the job I have to the best of my ability once again.
However, we can only reach that point of communication and resolution of issues because we've both learned enough humility to take personal feeling out of issues and look at them objectively. That's very hard to do.
Anyway...Oh shit...I have to go to the bank...But, ya'll get my drift, right...
What's going to happen when men realize that they don't need women to do their cooking and cleaning and raising of their kids? This is the same way that women have come to realize they don't need men to support them financially, that they too can earn a living out in the workplace.
It's bound to happen as more and more men are forced to take on more and more responsibility at home in order to support their wives new careers.
For me, I entered into a relationship where I was almost equal to my husband. I didn't have the earning capability that he did and still don't...but as far as everything else goes, we had equal skill. There are no power struggles over who takes the trash out between he and I (the kids are a different story) or who does the dishes. We just do these things together because they are genderless jobs..everybody has to take the trash out and do the dishes. This is nice. If I want something done, I don't have to nag the shit out of someone to do it, he knows I am capable of using tools properly.
As a result of having confidence in our abilities to run a household, many of the head games that get played between married couples just don't exist. I don't "cut him off" or use any kind of power play like that and he doesn't forbid me to do stuff that he feels threatened by...There isn't any sneaking of money for this purchase or that purchase.
There's a lot of security to be had by being married to someone you have faith in. He knows that if anything were to happen to him, I would take care of things and the kids. I would do what was necessary. The same goes for him. I know that if something were to happen to me, he'd be able to handle the job. Those are the good things that can come out of an 'equal' relationship. The work isn't always equal...it's the peace of mind.
Now some people, I suppose would be threatened by that kind of relationship where the flip side is...that you can be replaced. Say, if I were to get some wild hair up my ass (which I wouldn't cuz it's like cutting off your nose to spite your face) to cut my husband off from sex because he didn't fix my car, for example. Here's how it would play out...he'd fix my car, because it's the right thing to do. Then, he'd pack my shit in my car and send me on down the road and get his piece of ass somewhere else. That sounds mean, I know...but I'm the same way and he knows it. Now, you can take that as a fact, or take that as a threat...but what it is, is simply a fact. The children deserve parents who are open and honest with each other and don't play games like that. We think our children don't understand nuances and that they can't feel the undercurrents of our marriages...but they can.
It's important for us to raise our children to be independent and successful individuals while still understanding the value of teamwork and family. Though I am the main cook and bottle washer...each of my boys knows how to cook and follow a recipe. They also know how to wash their own clothes, using all the settings on the washer and dryer properly, and do anything else they need to to do care for themselves. My daughter knows how to take out the trash and do anything else that needs to be done. It's important for her to be raised the same way.
It's not always easy. Sometimes there are power struggles over issues like jobs. For a time, I really thought the answer to some of our problems was to go and get a job. My husband quickly pointed out to me that he didn't have time to do my job too...and did I REALLY want his job? No, I guess I didn't...and that's cool too. It finally got settled in my mind so I can concentrate on doing the job I have to the best of my ability once again.
However, we can only reach that point of communication and resolution of issues because we've both learned enough humility to take personal feeling out of issues and look at them objectively. That's very hard to do.
Anyway...Oh shit...I have to go to the bank...But, ya'll get my drift, right...
Friday, September 16, 2005
TGIF
I love Fridays..I don't know why..but I do.
Yesterday, my husband came home with his special tool...(ball joint separator) and we got the steering linkage changed without too much major trouble. If I hadn't been able to get up under there with a flashlight and second set of eyes, he'd still be out there trying to get those dayum cotter pins in.
I did ask him ever so sweetly why he preferred to wrestle with that thing for 5 HOURS rather than just go get the tool to begin with and as I suspected, he thought the tool was too expensive...as well, it took him forever and a day to get up under the car to begin with and he didn't want to crawl out from under there again. I sweetly then wondered why I didn't use my wifely clout to MAKE him go get the right tool...ah, but I did try. I mentioned it until I got "the look" and shut up...
I am going to test drive the car when he gets home...just because I can..LOL!
As I was sitting there groggily sipping my Dr. Pepper and supervising the last of the little two people's morning routines, I noticed that my daughter had a bald spot on her head about the size of a quarter....
I said.."Girl, did you cut your hair AGAIN?" She hung her head...and I asked her ..WHY did you cut your hair AGAIN....her reply...because it was bothering me.
Lordy but this girl has been cutting her hair since she was 4. I finally get it all grown out again so that we can cut it even and begin to have a style for her...and WHACK...off goes another chunk. This one is about crew cut short and right in the middle of her part in the front, so now she's going to have this huge cow lick ...ugh...she doesn't seem to mind, though..oddly enough. It was in her way and now it's not now..that's all she cares about. Wait til she's older...she'll start caring. Hope that hair is grown out by then.
Yesterday morning ..it was an underwear crisis. My 15 yr old son thought someone stole his underwear and he was going to stand there and bitch about it for I don't know how long. I only took about 5 min. of it before I reamed him a new pooper shooter for not keeping his room clean and organized enough to keep track of his own underwear...so I guess he was going to stand there and bitch about it for 5 min...LOL!
I think I finally mastered the art of indirect cooking on the grill. I made some chicken the other night ...6.5 lbs of thighs...gone, every one. There wasn't even any sauce left in the pan I put them in after taking them off the grill....it still amazes me to watch THAT MUCH food just disappear in 15 min.
Tonight it's frito pie..yummy!!! (and pretty simple, eh?)
Probably call it an early night since my main squeeze has to work at Oh Dark Thirty in the morning. Tomorrow night...Truck racing...and we all know that's my FAVORITE...and then on Sunday..the Cup race...
Got a call from my husband's buddy last night confirming our presence at Talladega...that is going to be so much fun..especially since he's a Tony Stewart fan too. Told him I was gonna keep my shirt on this year...LOL.. My husband is glad of that... I'm kind of a sucky race fan in some ways...I don't talk smack about my driver or anything because I like so many of them. Kevin Harvick never ceases to amaze me with his driving skills and Biffle...that one can drive, too. Then there's the older guys like Mark Martin...and anybody that wants to say that HE can't drive ...well we can take it out to the parking lot....And Ricky Rudd is another family favorite here...
Anyhoo...gonna go tackle the Harry Potter room now...got all the spiders and ants and whatever the hell other bugs tried to move down there as a result of the recent moisture...pull the rest of the boxes out...sort through stuff and start hauling stuff out of here. Gonna get separated in 3 piles...keep, trash, donate..and be done. And, the f-ing donate and trash piles BETTER be bigger than the keep pile, that's all I got to say on that one.
Hope everyone has a happy blogging weekend, if I don't check in tomorrow, I'll be around on Monday.
Yesterday, my husband came home with his special tool...(ball joint separator) and we got the steering linkage changed without too much major trouble. If I hadn't been able to get up under there with a flashlight and second set of eyes, he'd still be out there trying to get those dayum cotter pins in.
I did ask him ever so sweetly why he preferred to wrestle with that thing for 5 HOURS rather than just go get the tool to begin with and as I suspected, he thought the tool was too expensive...as well, it took him forever and a day to get up under the car to begin with and he didn't want to crawl out from under there again. I sweetly then wondered why I didn't use my wifely clout to MAKE him go get the right tool...ah, but I did try. I mentioned it until I got "the look" and shut up...
I am going to test drive the car when he gets home...just because I can..LOL!
As I was sitting there groggily sipping my Dr. Pepper and supervising the last of the little two people's morning routines, I noticed that my daughter had a bald spot on her head about the size of a quarter....
I said.."Girl, did you cut your hair AGAIN?" She hung her head...and I asked her ..WHY did you cut your hair AGAIN....her reply...because it was bothering me.
Lordy but this girl has been cutting her hair since she was 4. I finally get it all grown out again so that we can cut it even and begin to have a style for her...and WHACK...off goes another chunk. This one is about crew cut short and right in the middle of her part in the front, so now she's going to have this huge cow lick ...ugh...she doesn't seem to mind, though..oddly enough. It was in her way and now it's not now..that's all she cares about. Wait til she's older...she'll start caring. Hope that hair is grown out by then.
Yesterday morning ..it was an underwear crisis. My 15 yr old son thought someone stole his underwear and he was going to stand there and bitch about it for I don't know how long. I only took about 5 min. of it before I reamed him a new pooper shooter for not keeping his room clean and organized enough to keep track of his own underwear...so I guess he was going to stand there and bitch about it for 5 min...LOL!
I think I finally mastered the art of indirect cooking on the grill. I made some chicken the other night ...6.5 lbs of thighs...gone, every one. There wasn't even any sauce left in the pan I put them in after taking them off the grill....it still amazes me to watch THAT MUCH food just disappear in 15 min.
Tonight it's frito pie..yummy!!! (and pretty simple, eh?)
Probably call it an early night since my main squeeze has to work at Oh Dark Thirty in the morning. Tomorrow night...Truck racing...and we all know that's my FAVORITE...and then on Sunday..the Cup race...
Got a call from my husband's buddy last night confirming our presence at Talladega...that is going to be so much fun..especially since he's a Tony Stewart fan too. Told him I was gonna keep my shirt on this year...LOL.. My husband is glad of that... I'm kind of a sucky race fan in some ways...I don't talk smack about my driver or anything because I like so many of them. Kevin Harvick never ceases to amaze me with his driving skills and Biffle...that one can drive, too. Then there's the older guys like Mark Martin...and anybody that wants to say that HE can't drive ...well we can take it out to the parking lot....And Ricky Rudd is another family favorite here...
Anyhoo...gonna go tackle the Harry Potter room now...got all the spiders and ants and whatever the hell other bugs tried to move down there as a result of the recent moisture...pull the rest of the boxes out...sort through stuff and start hauling stuff out of here. Gonna get separated in 3 piles...keep, trash, donate..and be done. And, the f-ing donate and trash piles BETTER be bigger than the keep pile, that's all I got to say on that one.
Hope everyone has a happy blogging weekend, if I don't check in tomorrow, I'll be around on Monday.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Redneck Backyard...
Do males get like this extra testosterone surge in the fall or something? All my dudes have been a little on the aggressive side lately....
This usually happens in a big way in the spring but I've never noticed it in the fall before. Perhaps I haven't been paying attention...
Yesterday, my husband worked all day long on the Camaro trying to get the relay rod off there. Apparently, he needed a Pittman arm puller and really didn't want to stop and go get one, or spend the money on one if he got it. I have come to the conclusion, also, that unless you spend the money on the manufacturer's repair manual, you are just getting a book written by idiots. The general repair books tend to try to cover too many years of vehicles in one book. Which is just another reason for me to have a Camaro too...you only have to spend the money once on all those special tools. It would appear that each manufacturer has their own special deal that makes working on the vehicle a pain in the ASS.
Right now, we have a Ford Truck, a Pontiac Ventura, a Chevy Blazer 4x4, a Pontiac Grand Prix, a Chevy Gladiator (Van), a Camaro, a newer Blazer, and an Oldsmobile Delta 88 Station Wagon. The truck, the Grand Prix, and the 4x4 are all my oldest son's bad investments (projects he wanted to do with my husband). The Ventura belongs to my 18 yr old as a project car. It still runs. The van's engine is in the garage. It only had 53,000 miles on it anyway. It was a wierd deal, really...it should have had a 4-bolt mount for the engine..the rest of the body was beefed up like it could tow stuff...came with a towing package and everything..we towed the boat back from Texas and spun a bearing right after that. When he went to put it back together is when he realized why it broke...so...anyway...
The Camaro is in use, the other Blazer we got from his dad when his dad decided that he really shouldn't be driving anymore. It was sad, really and I kind of have this attachment to it for that reason. He thought that we could use it as a work truck and it was great for awhile, but the Camaro actually handled the weight of my husband's tools better than the Blazer..can you believe that? (Just one more reason..)My 18 yr old would like to drive it and it would probably solve all his problems and be a good vehicle for him. It's a known entity so I'm open to that idea....but he's going to have to save the money for it FIRST, if that's what we decide. I'm not really in a rush for anything.
Now, the station wagon is mine and my husband's project. This is the backup vehicle that everyone drives should they need a loaner while their wheels are broken. This car is the BOMB! It seats 8 comfortably, it's just a little underpowered and needs some maintenance. The ultimate plan is that it's going to be our Talladega and camping vehicle. If you've never been to Talladega, it's an experience...it'll actually take you back a few decades to when people used to cruise. It's the ultimate car show on the side, and that's a kind of bonus...it's just themed with the colors of your favorite driver. I'd like to put the 3 paint scheme on the station wagon..
I know at this point, why in the hell did you allow that many crappy vehicles in the house...
It's because we have a dream. We want to have our own garage and turn our hobby into a career. There's a couple of reasons for this. Number one, it just makes sense to know how to fix your own stuff. Makes you a lot less reliant on other people and I like that. Number 2..my husband cannot continue to do the work that he does indefinitely and the cold, hard truth of our existance is not if he winds up in a wheelchair but when. With a bit of prior planning, we can save up the money to be able to install a lift so that even if he is still at working age, he will be able to feel useful and productive. It's important to him and I'm down with that. The other reason is that all of the boys are learning from him at different rates, just out of necessity. Some of them enjoy the mechanics more than others and some of them enjoy the electrical problems...and there are those of us that wouldn't mind learning to weld and paint to complete the talent pool.
See, the crazy thing about all this is...they WANT to work with their dad. He's good to work with. It's rare in the civilian world that you get to work with someone who understands the value of a properly planned job. (Again, review events in the Gulf...) The older two have worked with the general public and in the civilian sector to have learned to appreciate their father's 'style', if you will. He can be a crusty old bastard on the job...I've had grown men call me crying...yes, crying..that he was mean to them...LOL!!!(One hung up the phone crying ..hehehe) Seriously, though, I have worked with the man and he's a lot of fun to work with...I think. But, then, I am capable of performing to his standards, too...and a job worth doing is a job worth doing RIGHT.
And, I am very proud to say that we accomplish everything with the money we have. We have no credit cards, no loans (except the house), no car payments. It took a lot of work to get there and there is just so much less stress without it. So, this garage that we are going to build is going to be built with hard work and sacrifice and when it's done, we aren't going to owe anybody a thing. We're only 10 years away from owning the house outright and I'm looking forward to redirecting that chunk of change somewhere else, let me tell you.
Anyway, that's a bit of the big picture as I see it and sometimes I forget...patience isn't one of my virtues, honestly ...so when I get bitchy with them it's because I'm a little overwhelmed by the level of testosterone and I've forgotten why we have all these cars here and I start talking about having them hauled off..and everybody gets pissed at me like I'm killing their dream...and I guess I can see why they would see it that way...because I am when I'm talking like that.
It's wierd, but I grew up in a small family so there's just a lot of things I don't know about how a bigger family HAS to operate in order to function and sometimes all I know is that shit isn't working the way we're trying to and have no idea what the little issues are that are causing problems. Sometimes it's as simple as somebody getting their shower cut short by someone else running water...several days in a row..then it's my job to monitor the shower schedule. Yes, I have to have a shower schedule....see what I mean?
Anyway, my ADD is hard at work today judging by the rambling of this post...gotta run and get things going to fog the house for fleas today. Yay...Ah, but my oldest one did get to see the value of information and being around when it was being handed out because that gave him a few days to find a place for the snake to stay today. I probably would have forgotten all about the snake, and that would have been very, very bad.
This usually happens in a big way in the spring but I've never noticed it in the fall before. Perhaps I haven't been paying attention...
Yesterday, my husband worked all day long on the Camaro trying to get the relay rod off there. Apparently, he needed a Pittman arm puller and really didn't want to stop and go get one, or spend the money on one if he got it. I have come to the conclusion, also, that unless you spend the money on the manufacturer's repair manual, you are just getting a book written by idiots. The general repair books tend to try to cover too many years of vehicles in one book. Which is just another reason for me to have a Camaro too...you only have to spend the money once on all those special tools. It would appear that each manufacturer has their own special deal that makes working on the vehicle a pain in the ASS.
Right now, we have a Ford Truck, a Pontiac Ventura, a Chevy Blazer 4x4, a Pontiac Grand Prix, a Chevy Gladiator (Van), a Camaro, a newer Blazer, and an Oldsmobile Delta 88 Station Wagon. The truck, the Grand Prix, and the 4x4 are all my oldest son's bad investments (projects he wanted to do with my husband). The Ventura belongs to my 18 yr old as a project car. It still runs. The van's engine is in the garage. It only had 53,000 miles on it anyway. It was a wierd deal, really...it should have had a 4-bolt mount for the engine..the rest of the body was beefed up like it could tow stuff...came with a towing package and everything..we towed the boat back from Texas and spun a bearing right after that. When he went to put it back together is when he realized why it broke...so...anyway...
The Camaro is in use, the other Blazer we got from his dad when his dad decided that he really shouldn't be driving anymore. It was sad, really and I kind of have this attachment to it for that reason. He thought that we could use it as a work truck and it was great for awhile, but the Camaro actually handled the weight of my husband's tools better than the Blazer..can you believe that? (Just one more reason..)My 18 yr old would like to drive it and it would probably solve all his problems and be a good vehicle for him. It's a known entity so I'm open to that idea....but he's going to have to save the money for it FIRST, if that's what we decide. I'm not really in a rush for anything.
Now, the station wagon is mine and my husband's project. This is the backup vehicle that everyone drives should they need a loaner while their wheels are broken. This car is the BOMB! It seats 8 comfortably, it's just a little underpowered and needs some maintenance. The ultimate plan is that it's going to be our Talladega and camping vehicle. If you've never been to Talladega, it's an experience...it'll actually take you back a few decades to when people used to cruise. It's the ultimate car show on the side, and that's a kind of bonus...it's just themed with the colors of your favorite driver. I'd like to put the 3 paint scheme on the station wagon..
I know at this point, why in the hell did you allow that many crappy vehicles in the house...
It's because we have a dream. We want to have our own garage and turn our hobby into a career. There's a couple of reasons for this. Number one, it just makes sense to know how to fix your own stuff. Makes you a lot less reliant on other people and I like that. Number 2..my husband cannot continue to do the work that he does indefinitely and the cold, hard truth of our existance is not if he winds up in a wheelchair but when. With a bit of prior planning, we can save up the money to be able to install a lift so that even if he is still at working age, he will be able to feel useful and productive. It's important to him and I'm down with that. The other reason is that all of the boys are learning from him at different rates, just out of necessity. Some of them enjoy the mechanics more than others and some of them enjoy the electrical problems...and there are those of us that wouldn't mind learning to weld and paint to complete the talent pool.
See, the crazy thing about all this is...they WANT to work with their dad. He's good to work with. It's rare in the civilian world that you get to work with someone who understands the value of a properly planned job. (Again, review events in the Gulf...) The older two have worked with the general public and in the civilian sector to have learned to appreciate their father's 'style', if you will. He can be a crusty old bastard on the job...I've had grown men call me crying...yes, crying..that he was mean to them...LOL!!!(One hung up the phone crying ..hehehe) Seriously, though, I have worked with the man and he's a lot of fun to work with...I think. But, then, I am capable of performing to his standards, too...and a job worth doing is a job worth doing RIGHT.
And, I am very proud to say that we accomplish everything with the money we have. We have no credit cards, no loans (except the house), no car payments. It took a lot of work to get there and there is just so much less stress without it. So, this garage that we are going to build is going to be built with hard work and sacrifice and when it's done, we aren't going to owe anybody a thing. We're only 10 years away from owning the house outright and I'm looking forward to redirecting that chunk of change somewhere else, let me tell you.
Anyway, that's a bit of the big picture as I see it and sometimes I forget...patience isn't one of my virtues, honestly ...so when I get bitchy with them it's because I'm a little overwhelmed by the level of testosterone and I've forgotten why we have all these cars here and I start talking about having them hauled off..and everybody gets pissed at me like I'm killing their dream...and I guess I can see why they would see it that way...because I am when I'm talking like that.
It's wierd, but I grew up in a small family so there's just a lot of things I don't know about how a bigger family HAS to operate in order to function and sometimes all I know is that shit isn't working the way we're trying to and have no idea what the little issues are that are causing problems. Sometimes it's as simple as somebody getting their shower cut short by someone else running water...several days in a row..then it's my job to monitor the shower schedule. Yes, I have to have a shower schedule....see what I mean?
Anyway, my ADD is hard at work today judging by the rambling of this post...gotta run and get things going to fog the house for fleas today. Yay...Ah, but my oldest one did get to see the value of information and being around when it was being handed out because that gave him a few days to find a place for the snake to stay today. I probably would have forgotten all about the snake, and that would have been very, very bad.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Wednesdays Rock!
My husband and my 18 yr old take Wednesdays off. That means I have some people here to fuss over instead of being all by myself, for one.
I get to hang out with my honey and be a car chick. This morning we went to Autozone and picked up the part for the steering..(relay rod) and he's out their cussing at it as I type.
I fixed some giant bacon, egg, and cheese sandwiches for lunch and we feasted. We're going to barbecue some chicken tonight for supper. Might do some potato salad, too...
We discussed the current vehicle situation again...the Blazer just doesn't do it for me. I told him that if we couldn't get another Camaro, then fine, I would settle for a small to midsize pickup truck so that at least I would not have to depend on anyone to take the trash out for me....
Next thing I knew, he had decided that I deserved a Camaro..WOO HOO...of my very own..I've done my homework here...they get GREAT gas mileage..he's getting 26-28 on the highway with the one we've got now..it can take care of my grocery runs, and that's a huge deal..and they're FUN to drive and attitude is half of it, right? I like it when it's easy for the logic to shine through. As well, anything that breaks on either of them, I will be learning how to fix, so getting a good, competent helper out of the deal is a pretty darn good trade off, the way I see it.
All is mellow on the home front and there's a replay of the Busch race on. Life doesn't get much better than that!
I get to hang out with my honey and be a car chick. This morning we went to Autozone and picked up the part for the steering..(relay rod) and he's out their cussing at it as I type.
I fixed some giant bacon, egg, and cheese sandwiches for lunch and we feasted. We're going to barbecue some chicken tonight for supper. Might do some potato salad, too...
We discussed the current vehicle situation again...the Blazer just doesn't do it for me. I told him that if we couldn't get another Camaro, then fine, I would settle for a small to midsize pickup truck so that at least I would not have to depend on anyone to take the trash out for me....
Next thing I knew, he had decided that I deserved a Camaro..WOO HOO...of my very own..I've done my homework here...they get GREAT gas mileage..he's getting 26-28 on the highway with the one we've got now..it can take care of my grocery runs, and that's a huge deal..and they're FUN to drive and attitude is half of it, right? I like it when it's easy for the logic to shine through. As well, anything that breaks on either of them, I will be learning how to fix, so getting a good, competent helper out of the deal is a pretty darn good trade off, the way I see it.
All is mellow on the home front and there's a replay of the Busch race on. Life doesn't get much better than that!
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Editing Help Appreciated
The following is a writing exercise I've been trying to attempt..so let me know what y'all think k?
There's a light breeze blowing as she slides out of the truck. She places her hands at the small of her back and arches like a cat in order to get the kinks out from all the driving. Then, she bends and touches her toes to complete the process.
She surveys the area and overcomes the urge to pinch herself; this is a dream come true. They own a farm!!! Woo! Hoo!
The movers aren't due until tomorrow. She is meeting her husband so they can do some preliminary cleaning and get a feel for how she wants to decorate, where the garden is going to be, whether to have a fence or not..The usual things you wonder when getting a new place.
It's going to take a while for her to get used to all the open space. She feels a little exposed even though her closest neighbors live 10 miles away.
She decides to head out and explore the barn first. She has dreams for the barn; a workshop for her husband on the bottom and a studio for painting and writing for her in the loft area. She likes to be near her husband but not necessarily joined at the hip.
She steps into the barn and the heel of her boot catches on an uneven plank and she stumbles a bit.
"Oh, this won't do", she thinks to herself and bends over to take a closer look.
She is automatic in her reaction to trip hazards.
s she's stooping to see what she stumbled on, she notices the o-ring flush with the planks of the floor right next to the tip of her boot.
Now, her curiosity is really peaked. She pulls on the o-ring first one way then another until it gives. The trap door springs open with a pop that's so sudden it sends her sprawling in the dust.
She scrambles up, tucks her shirt back in to the wasteband of her jeans, and peeks down into the hole. It's DARK down there.
She shivers as visions of the many horror novels she's read pass briefly though her mind.
Far from scaring her senseless, the thought that there might be vampires or a horrible booby trap only heightens her sense of adventure and thrill of discovery. However, it did occur to her to run back to the truck and get a flashlight and bottle of water, just the same.
Now, armed with a few comfort items, she approaches the open trap door and pans her flashlight around the stairwell. She notes that there are handrails and ...a lightswitch. So, she flips the light on and descends the stairs.
She can't believe her eyes..it's a huge wine cellar, fully stocked. Directly across from the stairs is a big wooden door.
"I wonder what's in there", she thinks to herself.
Stunned with the discovery she has already made, she decides to wait for her husband so they can have the rest of the adventure together.
There's a light breeze blowing as she slides out of the truck. She places her hands at the small of her back and arches like a cat in order to get the kinks out from all the driving. Then, she bends and touches her toes to complete the process.
She surveys the area and overcomes the urge to pinch herself; this is a dream come true. They own a farm!!! Woo! Hoo!
The movers aren't due until tomorrow. She is meeting her husband so they can do some preliminary cleaning and get a feel for how she wants to decorate, where the garden is going to be, whether to have a fence or not..The usual things you wonder when getting a new place.
It's going to take a while for her to get used to all the open space. She feels a little exposed even though her closest neighbors live 10 miles away.
She decides to head out and explore the barn first. She has dreams for the barn; a workshop for her husband on the bottom and a studio for painting and writing for her in the loft area. She likes to be near her husband but not necessarily joined at the hip.
She steps into the barn and the heel of her boot catches on an uneven plank and she stumbles a bit.
"Oh, this won't do", she thinks to herself and bends over to take a closer look.
She is automatic in her reaction to trip hazards.
s she's stooping to see what she stumbled on, she notices the o-ring flush with the planks of the floor right next to the tip of her boot.
Now, her curiosity is really peaked. She pulls on the o-ring first one way then another until it gives. The trap door springs open with a pop that's so sudden it sends her sprawling in the dust.
She scrambles up, tucks her shirt back in to the wasteband of her jeans, and peeks down into the hole. It's DARK down there.
She shivers as visions of the many horror novels she's read pass briefly though her mind.
Far from scaring her senseless, the thought that there might be vampires or a horrible booby trap only heightens her sense of adventure and thrill of discovery. However, it did occur to her to run back to the truck and get a flashlight and bottle of water, just the same.
Now, armed with a few comfort items, she approaches the open trap door and pans her flashlight around the stairwell. She notes that there are handrails and ...a lightswitch. So, she flips the light on and descends the stairs.
She can't believe her eyes..it's a huge wine cellar, fully stocked. Directly across from the stairs is a big wooden door.
"I wonder what's in there", she thinks to herself.
Stunned with the discovery she has already made, she decides to wait for her husband so they can have the rest of the adventure together.
Resistance is Futile
Monday nights are now officially family nights. It is where we gather and have snacks and talk and laugh and share information.
I let them get all worried about why I wanted to talk to them and then when they figured it out, they were so relieved, they are more than happy to oblige. It CAN'T be bad if there's food involved...
Oh, and it's where they get their honey-do lists too..
See, here's how it breaks down...there's a bunch of people here that have their own individual goals to accomplish. They need parts for their cars price checked and ordered, they need to find out if college applications are accepted, ..etc. And then the high school people need me to get them to track practice, get them to physicals..etc... and then there's the little two...and all the crap that little people generate for you to keep track of...
It's easier managing a bunch of people who are the same age and have the same command mission..but it's not insurrmountable if you can get people to cooperate.
Here's the real deal...these people will pretty much do anything I ask of them. The problem is remembering who I have to ask what to because I can't catch them all together at the same time. The efficiency level of productivity in the house has dropped as a whole. Well, it hasn't dropped...but it needs to be kicked up a notch now that everyone is older.
Right now, if I want to talk to everybody, I have to get up at 4am with my husband and 18 yr old to gather/give information to them. Then, at 6am it's the little ones, then at 7 am it's the two high schoolers and then at 8 it's my oldest. So I spend FOUR hours every day...just giving and receiving information. And, I'm usually so aggravated with the process that by the time I'm done, I just want to take a nap.
I know there's a few of you that think I should just kick these people out...but that's just not going to happen. Yes, I hear what you're saying, but trust me, there are reasons for that not being the solution. First of all, it's a post 9/11 world and I've had enough of these people of that age group sitting around in my garage on their rare days off actively planning what they can do to make their lives better. It isn't like when any of us were kids. I just really don't know of any his age group that are living on their own right now. They just can't afford it and they have to have some longevity in their jobs in order to be able to accomplish the things they want. I don't charge them rent, but if I need extra money for something...I ask and they give willingly. They also take care of many household chores around there that are money savers. They earn their keep, they really do.
Both of my kids that are graduated from school have full time jobs and a very high work ethic. My oldest son works from 12-14 hours a day 5-6 days a week and my 18 yr old and my husband do the same. They do very physical work all day long as well.
So, they depend upon me to take care of these little things for them and I honestly do not mind doing them. I do mind it being a constant crisis situation, though, and that is what I am striving to change. A little advance planning can go a long way, as evidenced quite clearly by the events surrounding that bad hurricane.
I cannot possibly begin to make a list and prioritize it if it gets thrown at me bit by bit and never when I have a piece of paper handy. I am flattered that they think I have the memory of the current top of the line computer, and I really hate to crash off that pedestal, but I need to write things down to remember them and I need to have ALL (or as much as possible, anyway) the things I need to accomplish so I can prioritize what needs to happen first.
So, Monday night meetings. I'm sure they'll kind of evolve into a Monday night football thing...after racing season is over ...
Last weekend had the potential to be an all Harvick weekend...but those Rousch guys are unbelievable right now...they dominated the IROC race too...
(And yes, I watched all the truck race, most of the Busch race, the last half of the Iroc race, and most of the cup race..and every now and then I like to catch and ARCA race or a Hooter's Pro Cup race.....)
I let them get all worried about why I wanted to talk to them and then when they figured it out, they were so relieved, they are more than happy to oblige. It CAN'T be bad if there's food involved...
Oh, and it's where they get their honey-do lists too..
See, here's how it breaks down...there's a bunch of people here that have their own individual goals to accomplish. They need parts for their cars price checked and ordered, they need to find out if college applications are accepted, ..etc. And then the high school people need me to get them to track practice, get them to physicals..etc... and then there's the little two...and all the crap that little people generate for you to keep track of...
It's easier managing a bunch of people who are the same age and have the same command mission..but it's not insurrmountable if you can get people to cooperate.
Here's the real deal...these people will pretty much do anything I ask of them. The problem is remembering who I have to ask what to because I can't catch them all together at the same time. The efficiency level of productivity in the house has dropped as a whole. Well, it hasn't dropped...but it needs to be kicked up a notch now that everyone is older.
Right now, if I want to talk to everybody, I have to get up at 4am with my husband and 18 yr old to gather/give information to them. Then, at 6am it's the little ones, then at 7 am it's the two high schoolers and then at 8 it's my oldest. So I spend FOUR hours every day...just giving and receiving information. And, I'm usually so aggravated with the process that by the time I'm done, I just want to take a nap.
I know there's a few of you that think I should just kick these people out...but that's just not going to happen. Yes, I hear what you're saying, but trust me, there are reasons for that not being the solution. First of all, it's a post 9/11 world and I've had enough of these people of that age group sitting around in my garage on their rare days off actively planning what they can do to make their lives better. It isn't like when any of us were kids. I just really don't know of any his age group that are living on their own right now. They just can't afford it and they have to have some longevity in their jobs in order to be able to accomplish the things they want. I don't charge them rent, but if I need extra money for something...I ask and they give willingly. They also take care of many household chores around there that are money savers. They earn their keep, they really do.
Both of my kids that are graduated from school have full time jobs and a very high work ethic. My oldest son works from 12-14 hours a day 5-6 days a week and my 18 yr old and my husband do the same. They do very physical work all day long as well.
So, they depend upon me to take care of these little things for them and I honestly do not mind doing them. I do mind it being a constant crisis situation, though, and that is what I am striving to change. A little advance planning can go a long way, as evidenced quite clearly by the events surrounding that bad hurricane.
I cannot possibly begin to make a list and prioritize it if it gets thrown at me bit by bit and never when I have a piece of paper handy. I am flattered that they think I have the memory of the current top of the line computer, and I really hate to crash off that pedestal, but I need to write things down to remember them and I need to have ALL (or as much as possible, anyway) the things I need to accomplish so I can prioritize what needs to happen first.
So, Monday night meetings. I'm sure they'll kind of evolve into a Monday night football thing...after racing season is over ...
Last weekend had the potential to be an all Harvick weekend...but those Rousch guys are unbelievable right now...they dominated the IROC race too...
(And yes, I watched all the truck race, most of the Busch race, the last half of the Iroc race, and most of the cup race..and every now and then I like to catch and ARCA race or a Hooter's Pro Cup race.....)
New Furniture
Ever notice how little kids test furniture to see if it's any good?
It starts from across the room, them eyeing their ...target..if you will and figuring out their approach.
Then, it's run as fast as you can across the room so that you have enough speed to get that good height..this is important in order to be able to get that good twist going so that the butt lands in the chair.
They have a rating system. I guess the bouncier it is, the cooler it is. If, for example, they were to plant their butt and get immediately launched..now THAT's cool. It's cooler though to get one good bounce and then a few smaller ones before the jiggling stops. That's pretty cool too. And it's even cooler if it's soft enough to allow them to lay there and whine miserably while they are sick.
I wish I was a little kid again.
It starts from across the room, them eyeing their ...target..if you will and figuring out their approach.
Then, it's run as fast as you can across the room so that you have enough speed to get that good height..this is important in order to be able to get that good twist going so that the butt lands in the chair.
They have a rating system. I guess the bouncier it is, the cooler it is. If, for example, they were to plant their butt and get immediately launched..now THAT's cool. It's cooler though to get one good bounce and then a few smaller ones before the jiggling stops. That's pretty cool too. And it's even cooler if it's soft enough to allow them to lay there and whine miserably while they are sick.
I wish I was a little kid again.
Monday, September 12, 2005
Sept. 11th
Yeah, I know I'm a day late. Sunday is the day I hang with my peeps though because it's the only day my husband has off from work.
September 11, 2001 started as a day like any other for my husband and I. Five months earlier, we had started a business. A business that depends upon the manufacturing industry to survive.
We had a rare day off together that day and the little ones were watching PBS while my husband was napping on the couch. I logged on to the computer to check my email and saw that the President had been taken to Camp David. I thought at first there was an attack on the President directly.
I screamed to my husband to wake the fuck up because there was some bad shit happening. We turned the news on in time to see the first tower fall.
We watched horrified, breathless, as the second tower fell. We cried together that day. I cannot remember ever having a rage so full and complete building inside of me. HOW DARE THEY?
Soon after, I logged on to my instant messenger hoping to catch my mother in law. She was there. We chatted for a few minutes and I said to her.."They're saying this is worse than Pearl Harbor..is that true?" And she said, "Yes, it's true."
I said, "This means we're going to war, I don't see a choice..and she said, "Yes, I don't like it either, but we don't have any choice that I can see, either."
If I was in a position to have joined the military all over again that day, I'd have been gone. The call was strong. I spent the next few years warring inside that I would go if I had the chance and understanding that call in some of my sons. People ask me if it bothers me that my 17 yr old is so gung ho to join the military...and it does bother me. But I understand, and if he still needs to go after he gets done with high school I will support him. I will cry and cry when he goes, but not where he can see me.
Did 9/11 have an effect on me personally? Yes it did. As I mentioned before, our business depends directly upon the manufacturing industry for success. We (my husband) fix industrial machinery, mechanical or electrical but with specialization in industrial motor controls. If the plants aren't putting anything out, then they aren't making money. If they aren't making money, then they aren't spending money on the maintenance of their equipment. They start relying on their in-house maintenance team to perform major repairs. That means they don't need us. For the first 2 years it was hand to mouth existance because there also weren't any jobs to be had. My husband put in resumes for 6 months with no bites. For reasons I don't understand, manufacturing was the most affected industry by 9/11.
Thankfully, I have been able to pare expenses down to a bare minimum and things are building finally..but it was definitely harder because of 9/11.
I will never forget.
September 11, 2001 started as a day like any other for my husband and I. Five months earlier, we had started a business. A business that depends upon the manufacturing industry to survive.
We had a rare day off together that day and the little ones were watching PBS while my husband was napping on the couch. I logged on to the computer to check my email and saw that the President had been taken to Camp David. I thought at first there was an attack on the President directly.
I screamed to my husband to wake the fuck up because there was some bad shit happening. We turned the news on in time to see the first tower fall.
We watched horrified, breathless, as the second tower fell. We cried together that day. I cannot remember ever having a rage so full and complete building inside of me. HOW DARE THEY?
Soon after, I logged on to my instant messenger hoping to catch my mother in law. She was there. We chatted for a few minutes and I said to her.."They're saying this is worse than Pearl Harbor..is that true?" And she said, "Yes, it's true."
I said, "This means we're going to war, I don't see a choice..and she said, "Yes, I don't like it either, but we don't have any choice that I can see, either."
If I was in a position to have joined the military all over again that day, I'd have been gone. The call was strong. I spent the next few years warring inside that I would go if I had the chance and understanding that call in some of my sons. People ask me if it bothers me that my 17 yr old is so gung ho to join the military...and it does bother me. But I understand, and if he still needs to go after he gets done with high school I will support him. I will cry and cry when he goes, but not where he can see me.
Did 9/11 have an effect on me personally? Yes it did. As I mentioned before, our business depends directly upon the manufacturing industry for success. We (my husband) fix industrial machinery, mechanical or electrical but with specialization in industrial motor controls. If the plants aren't putting anything out, then they aren't making money. If they aren't making money, then they aren't spending money on the maintenance of their equipment. They start relying on their in-house maintenance team to perform major repairs. That means they don't need us. For the first 2 years it was hand to mouth existance because there also weren't any jobs to be had. My husband put in resumes for 6 months with no bites. For reasons I don't understand, manufacturing was the most affected industry by 9/11.
Thankfully, I have been able to pare expenses down to a bare minimum and things are building finally..but it was definitely harder because of 9/11.
I will never forget.
If It's Not One, It's The Other
Lordy, I just want everyone on the same page. Just as soon as I get one problem resolved and worked out, another one decides that they need to test out their new man skills and try to take charge.
I'm getting kind of tired of having to put these boys in their place. Geez. When they hit a certain age, they begin to try the dominant behavior that men exhibit. It's evidenced in their body language and the whole nine yards.
They also think they are smarter than shit and know more than you. Damn, if I'm not sick of this attitude.
Last night, we took delivery of new furniture. The 15 yr old's job was to put the dog on her chain so we could move the stuff around without tripping over her. Not a problem. So, the neighbor arrives with a truck and he and my husband go and get the furniture.
After everything was all done, they went to let the dog back in and the dog is no longer on the chain. The 18 yr old decides right then and there that the 15 yr old never put her on it, chews him out and tells him that he's responsible for going to find her. So, we're standing there trying to talk to the neighbor but my 15 yr old was yelling so loud for the dog, it was echoing all through the neighborhood and was very distracting.
Well, come to find out...the 21 yr old let the dog off the chain and "She's just crazy, she took off and I have better things to do than look for the dog..." This is HIS dog, mind you.
So, the 18 yr old tells the 15 yr old that if she gets run over, it's going to be all his fault and he BETTER find her. No, he didn't help. He sat on the new couch and started in on the 7 yr old.
The 7 yr old rebeled by running and jumping on the furniture and making it impossible for the 18 yr old to hear the tv.
He came outside and told me that the 7 yr old was driving him nuts, so I walk in and say "It's bedtime..." and they say, "Yes, ma'am" and scamper on upstairs, get into their pajamas and are waiting for me to tuck them in.
This, of course, really gets the goat of the 18 yr old who proceeds to sit on the love seat like it's some kind of throne...and register his complaint with the behavior of the 7 year old to end his sentence with...."he's not going to learn to care unless you spank him."
WTF????????? I KNOW my 18 yr old did NOT just tell me to spank the 7 yr old.
Oh, yes, he did. And my husband didn't hear him. Of course. He never hears that stuff and I honestly don't know if he just hears it in a different context or if he doesn't hear it at all....but either way...sigh. And that's cool...but don't not hear it and then try to defend the person I'm pissed at..you know?
I suppose I'm anal but I cannot let that shit go. There is 2 hours of my 15 yr olds life that he won't get back because his brother thought he ought to be in charge. He who got judged, condemned and punished ...without my knowledge...and now I am the one stuck making it all right. It is my time that is wasted even thinking about this crap. He's gone on to work..cuz he's a MAN now...oblivious to the hate and discontent that he's caused and oblivious to the feelings he has hurt. He is a MAN now...he's in CHARGE.
Well, let me tell ya what ...they are very, very close to getting what they want.
I don't know how much louder or clearer that I can tell people that I am suffering seriously from mommy burnout here. I need a real vacation...away from these people...and they cannot see that it is their behavior and their attitude that is making me feel that way.
What the hell do they need me for except to do the laundry, clean up their messes, and cook their supper..and run interference because they can't seem to get along without a mediator.
What do I get for all my effort? A smart ass, know it all attitude.
I don't have the opportunity for a life,I don't have friends, I'm sitting here stagnating while the rest of the family is progressing..with their jobs, schools, hobbies, sports, and friends. Always counting on mom to be there to be there for whatever might come along..I'm prepared to deal with it, with a smile no less.
I have no accomplishments of my own to speak of because I am too busy supporting and helping them achieve their goals. It gets old riding off the accomplishments of others at times. I would like to have some of my own.
But, the very second I do turn my attention away, this kind of crap happens. I have to be ever vigilant, never letting my guard down, always in a state of heightened awareness, on duty, I have the watch, kind of way. 24 hours a day.
What do I have to show for it? Really. You'd think I'd at least get to have things my way once in a while...
And all I asked be done was the old couch be taken out and the new couch be brought in. It would have been easier to do it myself. People wonder why I don't want help...this is why.
Oh, and of course, after all this drama I'm supposed to be ready to be some kind of sex goddess for the rest of the evening before I fall into bed exhausted, finally able to think a thought that I would like to think... maybe begin to contemplate the state of affairs of the world or something..plan what I'd like to do the next day...do some creative writing. I've had a topic for a week, and no time to work on it.
I know..bitch, bitch, bitch...whine, whine, whine.
Screw world peace...I'll be happy if I can get all 8 people in my one house to get along.
I'm getting kind of tired of having to put these boys in their place. Geez. When they hit a certain age, they begin to try the dominant behavior that men exhibit. It's evidenced in their body language and the whole nine yards.
They also think they are smarter than shit and know more than you. Damn, if I'm not sick of this attitude.
Last night, we took delivery of new furniture. The 15 yr old's job was to put the dog on her chain so we could move the stuff around without tripping over her. Not a problem. So, the neighbor arrives with a truck and he and my husband go and get the furniture.
After everything was all done, they went to let the dog back in and the dog is no longer on the chain. The 18 yr old decides right then and there that the 15 yr old never put her on it, chews him out and tells him that he's responsible for going to find her. So, we're standing there trying to talk to the neighbor but my 15 yr old was yelling so loud for the dog, it was echoing all through the neighborhood and was very distracting.
Well, come to find out...the 21 yr old let the dog off the chain and "She's just crazy, she took off and I have better things to do than look for the dog..." This is HIS dog, mind you.
So, the 18 yr old tells the 15 yr old that if she gets run over, it's going to be all his fault and he BETTER find her. No, he didn't help. He sat on the new couch and started in on the 7 yr old.
The 7 yr old rebeled by running and jumping on the furniture and making it impossible for the 18 yr old to hear the tv.
He came outside and told me that the 7 yr old was driving him nuts, so I walk in and say "It's bedtime..." and they say, "Yes, ma'am" and scamper on upstairs, get into their pajamas and are waiting for me to tuck them in.
This, of course, really gets the goat of the 18 yr old who proceeds to sit on the love seat like it's some kind of throne...and register his complaint with the behavior of the 7 year old to end his sentence with...."he's not going to learn to care unless you spank him."
WTF????????? I KNOW my 18 yr old did NOT just tell me to spank the 7 yr old.
Oh, yes, he did. And my husband didn't hear him. Of course. He never hears that stuff and I honestly don't know if he just hears it in a different context or if he doesn't hear it at all....but either way...sigh. And that's cool...but don't not hear it and then try to defend the person I'm pissed at..you know?
I suppose I'm anal but I cannot let that shit go. There is 2 hours of my 15 yr olds life that he won't get back because his brother thought he ought to be in charge. He who got judged, condemned and punished ...without my knowledge...and now I am the one stuck making it all right. It is my time that is wasted even thinking about this crap. He's gone on to work..cuz he's a MAN now...oblivious to the hate and discontent that he's caused and oblivious to the feelings he has hurt. He is a MAN now...he's in CHARGE.
Well, let me tell ya what ...they are very, very close to getting what they want.
I don't know how much louder or clearer that I can tell people that I am suffering seriously from mommy burnout here. I need a real vacation...away from these people...and they cannot see that it is their behavior and their attitude that is making me feel that way.
What the hell do they need me for except to do the laundry, clean up their messes, and cook their supper..and run interference because they can't seem to get along without a mediator.
What do I get for all my effort? A smart ass, know it all attitude.
I don't have the opportunity for a life,I don't have friends, I'm sitting here stagnating while the rest of the family is progressing..with their jobs, schools, hobbies, sports, and friends. Always counting on mom to be there to be there for whatever might come along..I'm prepared to deal with it, with a smile no less.
I have no accomplishments of my own to speak of because I am too busy supporting and helping them achieve their goals. It gets old riding off the accomplishments of others at times. I would like to have some of my own.
But, the very second I do turn my attention away, this kind of crap happens. I have to be ever vigilant, never letting my guard down, always in a state of heightened awareness, on duty, I have the watch, kind of way. 24 hours a day.
What do I have to show for it? Really. You'd think I'd at least get to have things my way once in a while...
And all I asked be done was the old couch be taken out and the new couch be brought in. It would have been easier to do it myself. People wonder why I don't want help...this is why.
Oh, and of course, after all this drama I'm supposed to be ready to be some kind of sex goddess for the rest of the evening before I fall into bed exhausted, finally able to think a thought that I would like to think... maybe begin to contemplate the state of affairs of the world or something..plan what I'd like to do the next day...do some creative writing. I've had a topic for a week, and no time to work on it.
I know..bitch, bitch, bitch...whine, whine, whine.
Screw world peace...I'll be happy if I can get all 8 people in my one house to get along.
Saturday, September 10, 2005
Progress Reports
Yes, already. I have come to expect, over the years, that the very first progress report of the year typically leaves a lot to be desired. This year was no exception.
I have a couple of kids who take their education seriously and when they come home with less than desirable grades, have the correct answers and have already taken steps to correct the problem.
An example of a correct answer would be...
Well, Mom, I thought that was going to be my EASY class, and didn't bother to study for the test. You did try to tell me that it wasn't, and I believe you now.
I missed learning about proofs the day we had a doctor's appointment and didn't understand them and failed the test. Last Tuesday, I went in early and got extra help and corrected the test and got a few extra points back.
I moved to the back of the class with my friends and started goofing off. I sit in the front now.
The main INCORRECT answer I get is...
I don't know what happened. I studied for the test. I'm trying as hard as I can.
My achin' ass you are. Fine, then you need my help and since you didn't ask for it, you get it now. And, since you don't know what's wrong, we're going to figure it out together. We're going to start with the book and answering all the end of chapter questions. (They call this extra instruction in the military..LOL).
Now, some of my kids suck it up and just get with the program...and others don't. Others would like to say they completed a certain amount of work, get permission to go to the football game, and then leave me to find one sentence of work...one sentence ...while they were at the game. That was the condition..leave me the two essay questions you've completed and I'll see you tomorrow.
That's ok too. Kid thinks he's smarter than me. He just screwed himself out of any more fun stuff until report card time. His brothers are going to be out having all kinds of fun...not him. He's going to be at home..writing essay questions. I think I know who just volunteered to stay home and babysit during Talladega weekend too.
Failing a class is not an option in this house. It just isn't. The only job they have is to go to school. And, it's their job to maintain their gradepoint average so that they can save us money on insurance. They do not have to have jobs and pay for their own insurance while they are in high school, their job IS high school.
Crap, I have to read all this stuff over again in order to help him...and then answer the damn questions myself in order to be able to get a feel for what he's saying...but no effort pisses me off. If I am willing to do all that....on top of all my regular stuff...and hey, I already passed high school English..I can be met halfway and not lied to.
So there.
UPDATE:
Apparently the kid got word from one of his brothers as to which way the wind was a blowin' and got a bit of coaching as to what the 'correct' answers were. This morning when I caught up with him, we had a very productive discussion in which he managed to produce the other question. We busted through the pride barrier and we're off! It's almost a letdown when they make it that easy...but that's cool, too!
MacBeth, here I come.
I have a couple of kids who take their education seriously and when they come home with less than desirable grades, have the correct answers and have already taken steps to correct the problem.
An example of a correct answer would be...
Well, Mom, I thought that was going to be my EASY class, and didn't bother to study for the test. You did try to tell me that it wasn't, and I believe you now.
I missed learning about proofs the day we had a doctor's appointment and didn't understand them and failed the test. Last Tuesday, I went in early and got extra help and corrected the test and got a few extra points back.
I moved to the back of the class with my friends and started goofing off. I sit in the front now.
The main INCORRECT answer I get is...
I don't know what happened. I studied for the test. I'm trying as hard as I can.
My achin' ass you are. Fine, then you need my help and since you didn't ask for it, you get it now. And, since you don't know what's wrong, we're going to figure it out together. We're going to start with the book and answering all the end of chapter questions. (They call this extra instruction in the military..LOL).
Now, some of my kids suck it up and just get with the program...and others don't. Others would like to say they completed a certain amount of work, get permission to go to the football game, and then leave me to find one sentence of work...one sentence ...while they were at the game. That was the condition..leave me the two essay questions you've completed and I'll see you tomorrow.
That's ok too. Kid thinks he's smarter than me. He just screwed himself out of any more fun stuff until report card time. His brothers are going to be out having all kinds of fun...not him. He's going to be at home..writing essay questions. I think I know who just volunteered to stay home and babysit during Talladega weekend too.
Failing a class is not an option in this house. It just isn't. The only job they have is to go to school. And, it's their job to maintain their gradepoint average so that they can save us money on insurance. They do not have to have jobs and pay for their own insurance while they are in high school, their job IS high school.
Crap, I have to read all this stuff over again in order to help him...and then answer the damn questions myself in order to be able to get a feel for what he's saying...but no effort pisses me off. If I am willing to do all that....on top of all my regular stuff...and hey, I already passed high school English..I can be met halfway and not lied to.
So there.
UPDATE:
Apparently the kid got word from one of his brothers as to which way the wind was a blowin' and got a bit of coaching as to what the 'correct' answers were. This morning when I caught up with him, we had a very productive discussion in which he managed to produce the other question. We busted through the pride barrier and we're off! It's almost a letdown when they make it that easy...but that's cool, too!
MacBeth, here I come.
Friday, September 09, 2005
An Essay by My Daughter
What is your favorite thing? I like cats. I like my family. I like the sky. I like the clouds. I like the flowers. I like the sun. I like the XBox. I like the music. I like the cars. I like the T.V. I like the colors except pink and purple. I like the American people.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
How Cool Is This?
Ok, so I emailed and contacted my part of the family and let them know.
I also called my cousin? back (isn't this sad, I don't even know who's who) and let her know and we talked some more. She gave me three generations of the family tree and lo but another of my female cousins named her female child the same thing I named mine and spelled it the same way...
I have so much to catch up on. I feel like I've been given a gift that is bigger than I can even begin to fathom right now. The very first of which is validation...identity...and continutity. I come from somewhere...from some people...people I LIKE, no less...kid people...
I hit the love lottery. And I'm humbled beyond words and ever so thankful. Ever so thankful.
I also called my cousin? back (isn't this sad, I don't even know who's who) and let her know and we talked some more. She gave me three generations of the family tree and lo but another of my female cousins named her female child the same thing I named mine and spelled it the same way...
I have so much to catch up on. I feel like I've been given a gift that is bigger than I can even begin to fathom right now. The very first of which is validation...identity...and continutity. I come from somewhere...from some people...people I LIKE, no less...kid people...
I hit the love lottery. And I'm humbled beyond words and ever so thankful. Ever so thankful.
Damn.
I had some other stuff to say this morning but I received a phone call at 7:30 am. You know those early morning phone calls NEVER have good news.
I have a cousin who passed a week ago. He lived a tortured life with bi-polar and also wound up with congestive heart disease. His mother assures me that he is at peace, although she is having on and off days. We are not meant to outlive our children.
The other deal that this phone call dragged up was issues with my mother. I am to the point that I have to tell people the truth. Everybody wonders and I'm not covering for her anymore. As a result, I found out some NEW things that just piss me right off. Now I have to work through these issues.
I am spawned from the devil...
But, I have a whole other family that I belong to, and that feeling is so overwhelming that I'm just flooded with emotion right now. To be able to talk to someone who remembers my dad, and will reminisce with you about things...not just talk about all the negative or bad crap or only want to remember when he was sick.
These are people I don't even know. Or, I only know them through my dad's stories. We didn't go back for a long time after my grandparents died. It was just too hard for my dad. My dad's people..that I would LOVE to know. Buncha rednecks, they are...always having family get togethers and picnics and just having fun. I can remember as a little kid playing football and baseball and any kind of ball in the front yard of whoever's house was having the wake. Haystacks and lemonade. I had to sit and think of the name of my cousin that she was talking about...I feel so horrible.
People that were good to my mother...and she just did them like she does everyone else...ugh. I'm just ill. Sorry I couldn't have more to say today than this.
I have a cousin who passed a week ago. He lived a tortured life with bi-polar and also wound up with congestive heart disease. His mother assures me that he is at peace, although she is having on and off days. We are not meant to outlive our children.
The other deal that this phone call dragged up was issues with my mother. I am to the point that I have to tell people the truth. Everybody wonders and I'm not covering for her anymore. As a result, I found out some NEW things that just piss me right off. Now I have to work through these issues.
I am spawned from the devil...
But, I have a whole other family that I belong to, and that feeling is so overwhelming that I'm just flooded with emotion right now. To be able to talk to someone who remembers my dad, and will reminisce with you about things...not just talk about all the negative or bad crap or only want to remember when he was sick.
These are people I don't even know. Or, I only know them through my dad's stories. We didn't go back for a long time after my grandparents died. It was just too hard for my dad. My dad's people..that I would LOVE to know. Buncha rednecks, they are...always having family get togethers and picnics and just having fun. I can remember as a little kid playing football and baseball and any kind of ball in the front yard of whoever's house was having the wake. Haystacks and lemonade. I had to sit and think of the name of my cousin that she was talking about...I feel so horrible.
People that were good to my mother...and she just did them like she does everyone else...ugh. I'm just ill. Sorry I couldn't have more to say today than this.
Monday, September 05, 2005
Now That It's All Played Out...
Listen people, there's one thing I have learned over the years. You cannot even begin to assess a lessons learned on any situation until the crisis is over. It is very important for the QA people to have a complete understanding of the timeline of events and options that were truly available to people at the time. Who are the QA people in the events that just occured in NOLA and the rest of the Gulf? You are and I am. Anybody who wasn't directly impacted by the hurricane and aftermath, in other words. Probably those agencies involved with the rescue efforts will be doing their own in-house QA analysis of the situation and if they found they were deficient, they will fix it.
Blame doesn't do any good or solve any problems, so this post isn't going to be about blame. This is, in my opinion, a situation where blame has no place.
Katrina chugged along across the Atlantic as a Category 1 hurricane. Her track was unpredictable from the very beginning and the weather officials had no reason to be concerned. That is the first fact as I see it.
Then, it hit the tip of Florida and went from Cat. 1 to Cat 3. THEN it hit the Gulf Stream and went to a Cat. 5. This happened so fast, nobody had time to react.
Then the attention of the country was turned on New Orleans. Tuesday and Wednesday of last week, we were all taking a breath of relief that New Orleans had been spared. But, then the levees broke.
All this time, the rescue operators and National Guard and all those people were staged to help. This is the logistical error as I see it, why weren't they on the west side of the hurricane? They staged to the east side of the hurricane, which is always the worst side. I suspect that is due to the unpredictable track of the hurricane, that little dog-leg it took to the north caught the rescue workers right in it. They had to weather it themselves before they could set out to begin rescue. By that time, the situation in NOLA was getting very desperate indeed.
Let me say here that "authorized to shoot and kill" doesn't mean what everyone was making it out to be. It means very simply, that if you were so inclined to shoot at your rescuers, they were authorized to SHOOT YOU BACK..it's the American way..get over it, already.
With the onslaught of the hurricane and the levee breaks, it meant that there was no communication, no places for any helicopters to land and refuel, no way in. The first hours of the arrival of the troops was spent reestablishing these things and setting up an EFFICIENT rescue operation. They had to restore communication, restore power, set up a staging area, all that jazz, as well as continuously answer questions about where the help was.
Now, I'm not dogging the media, either because once these people get someplace safe, they are truly going to understand how much we do love them and care for them. That is going to be a moot point. Of course they felt that way. In this day and age of technology 5 days IS a long time. They were cut off from all communication to the outside world, of COURSE they thought we forgot them. They won't forget again. We need to forgive them.
What about the contingency plan? Well, I'm not sure about the status of the plan, if there was a plan or how it failed. What I can say is this. No plan is a good plan until it's been tested a few times. If you can't get 200,000+ people to evacuate during a REAL THREAT, how in the heck are you going to get them to voluntarily evacuate in order to test out the theory of a plan? Every plan has a flaw that is not discovered until execution of the plan. So, should the mayor be fired? No, I don't think so. I think that he is the best person to be in charge of that city should a crisis of this magnitude ever happen again. Now, if I was President Bush, I would be watching for the opportune moment to call him on the carpet and give him a serious Presidential ass chewing. But, he needs to be in charge of the cleanup and the implementation of a new plan if they choose to rebuild or whatever they are going to do down there. He needs to work close with the Governor on this issue. They were there, they are really the only ones in a position to fix it.
What can you say about LTG Honore? I do love a man with leadership skills such as his. Men like that inspire you to join, just to be able to work with the best of the best. Perhaps the Mayor should do a little consultation on the new evacuation plan...
As far as I can see it, the people 'in charge' did as much as humanly possible, with limited resources and a very escalated situation. Their response WAS timely, as timely as it could have been.
There's going to be many, many lessons learned out of this ordeal. Many things went wrong, many things went right. It's important to focus on the big picture, stay away from blame, and just fix it. Even, if though all the analysis, you could find one person to pin the blame on...let's just pretend for a minute, shall we? What then. Ok, you know who caused the problem...does that in any way solve the problem? No. Does it absolve you in any way of trying to be a solution to the problem? No. So why bother? It doesn't matter...it doesn't change that there's a whole buttload of work that needs to be done to restore these areas to a livable state and to reunite family members and to help these people get back on their feet. I think we need to focus on that and all the other stuff will fall by the wayside.
I can't go without mentioning Texas and Georgia in the refugee efforts. Both states had their plan in effect and have been able to get people to safe places and into communities where they can start rebuilding their lives. They were totally up to the task! The abundance of love that is shown by the American people as a whole, is an incredible thing to behold.
Blame doesn't do any good or solve any problems, so this post isn't going to be about blame. This is, in my opinion, a situation where blame has no place.
Katrina chugged along across the Atlantic as a Category 1 hurricane. Her track was unpredictable from the very beginning and the weather officials had no reason to be concerned. That is the first fact as I see it.
Then, it hit the tip of Florida and went from Cat. 1 to Cat 3. THEN it hit the Gulf Stream and went to a Cat. 5. This happened so fast, nobody had time to react.
Then the attention of the country was turned on New Orleans. Tuesday and Wednesday of last week, we were all taking a breath of relief that New Orleans had been spared. But, then the levees broke.
All this time, the rescue operators and National Guard and all those people were staged to help. This is the logistical error as I see it, why weren't they on the west side of the hurricane? They staged to the east side of the hurricane, which is always the worst side. I suspect that is due to the unpredictable track of the hurricane, that little dog-leg it took to the north caught the rescue workers right in it. They had to weather it themselves before they could set out to begin rescue. By that time, the situation in NOLA was getting very desperate indeed.
Let me say here that "authorized to shoot and kill" doesn't mean what everyone was making it out to be. It means very simply, that if you were so inclined to shoot at your rescuers, they were authorized to SHOOT YOU BACK..it's the American way..get over it, already.
With the onslaught of the hurricane and the levee breaks, it meant that there was no communication, no places for any helicopters to land and refuel, no way in. The first hours of the arrival of the troops was spent reestablishing these things and setting up an EFFICIENT rescue operation. They had to restore communication, restore power, set up a staging area, all that jazz, as well as continuously answer questions about where the help was.
Now, I'm not dogging the media, either because once these people get someplace safe, they are truly going to understand how much we do love them and care for them. That is going to be a moot point. Of course they felt that way. In this day and age of technology 5 days IS a long time. They were cut off from all communication to the outside world, of COURSE they thought we forgot them. They won't forget again. We need to forgive them.
What about the contingency plan? Well, I'm not sure about the status of the plan, if there was a plan or how it failed. What I can say is this. No plan is a good plan until it's been tested a few times. If you can't get 200,000+ people to evacuate during a REAL THREAT, how in the heck are you going to get them to voluntarily evacuate in order to test out the theory of a plan? Every plan has a flaw that is not discovered until execution of the plan. So, should the mayor be fired? No, I don't think so. I think that he is the best person to be in charge of that city should a crisis of this magnitude ever happen again. Now, if I was President Bush, I would be watching for the opportune moment to call him on the carpet and give him a serious Presidential ass chewing. But, he needs to be in charge of the cleanup and the implementation of a new plan if they choose to rebuild or whatever they are going to do down there. He needs to work close with the Governor on this issue. They were there, they are really the only ones in a position to fix it.
What can you say about LTG Honore? I do love a man with leadership skills such as his. Men like that inspire you to join, just to be able to work with the best of the best. Perhaps the Mayor should do a little consultation on the new evacuation plan...
As far as I can see it, the people 'in charge' did as much as humanly possible, with limited resources and a very escalated situation. Their response WAS timely, as timely as it could have been.
There's going to be many, many lessons learned out of this ordeal. Many things went wrong, many things went right. It's important to focus on the big picture, stay away from blame, and just fix it. Even, if though all the analysis, you could find one person to pin the blame on...let's just pretend for a minute, shall we? What then. Ok, you know who caused the problem...does that in any way solve the problem? No. Does it absolve you in any way of trying to be a solution to the problem? No. So why bother? It doesn't matter...it doesn't change that there's a whole buttload of work that needs to be done to restore these areas to a livable state and to reunite family members and to help these people get back on their feet. I think we need to focus on that and all the other stuff will fall by the wayside.
I can't go without mentioning Texas and Georgia in the refugee efforts. Both states had their plan in effect and have been able to get people to safe places and into communities where they can start rebuilding their lives. They were totally up to the task! The abundance of love that is shown by the American people as a whole, is an incredible thing to behold.
Saturday, September 03, 2005
The Tooth Fairy Rides Again
Friday nights can be wild around here. I do find it hard sometimes to keep up with when to be cool and when to kiss the boo boo (not literally). The variety of age groups tends to keep one on one's toes in order to keep up with what's happening and chic as well as suave and debonair, the in thing, the now thing...
Who the hell is Hillary Duff?
The little dude lost his first tooth last night. It was an occasion for him. For me, it took me back a few years to a few kids who would somehow, someway, manage to lose that tooth before it got under the pillow, after it got under the pillow, when they were trying to check if it was still there, when they went to wash it off under the sink...you name it they found a way to lose it.
As a result, this mommy started saving every single tooth. That way, if they lost it, I could do a magic trick and "find" it again. So, the 7 yr old's tooth fairy experience went off without a hitch. But, I've had 5 other kids to ensure that it happened..hahaha. Don't even get me started on the million different ways they manage to lose the money....
Oh, and one of my oldest son's regular friends is over here..one of the more low maintenance ones is here, so we get to catch up with him and see what's going on. What's new and hip in the world of the 20 yr olds.
Who the hell is Hillary Duff?
The little dude lost his first tooth last night. It was an occasion for him. For me, it took me back a few years to a few kids who would somehow, someway, manage to lose that tooth before it got under the pillow, after it got under the pillow, when they were trying to check if it was still there, when they went to wash it off under the sink...you name it they found a way to lose it.
As a result, this mommy started saving every single tooth. That way, if they lost it, I could do a magic trick and "find" it again. So, the 7 yr old's tooth fairy experience went off without a hitch. But, I've had 5 other kids to ensure that it happened..hahaha. Don't even get me started on the million different ways they manage to lose the money....
Oh, and one of my oldest son's regular friends is over here..one of the more low maintenance ones is here, so we get to catch up with him and see what's going on. What's new and hip in the world of the 20 yr olds.
Thursday, September 01, 2005
President Bush Rocks!!!
I was just watching the news and it is reported that Pres. Bush told the rest of the world that we don't need their money and we aren't asking for it, we can take care of our own. We won't be turning any money down that other countries might want to send us, but by damn, we aren't begging for it.
It sure sounds to me like he just told the world to kiss America's Redneck Ass...
I second that!!!
God Bless America and President Bush!!!!!
It sure sounds to me like he just told the world to kiss America's Redneck Ass...
I second that!!!
God Bless America and President Bush!!!!!
Gas Prices in Ga
Nobody has heard me bitch too much about gas prices period. That's because they don't bother me, they are a necessity of life, and I understand that the retailers have to charge a profit for what they pay.
Yesterday, however, was ridiculous. They didn't pay any more for the gas that was in their tanks yesterday. As a matter of fact one of my retailers said that there was NO WAY they were going to run out of gas because they had just topped off earlier in the week. So why did that guy go from charging 2.39 to 3.29 in about an hour? Greed, pure and simple and it disgusts me. In some places it was 5.87. THAT is what caused the gas shortage in Ga. Greedy bastards.
Had he had to have a shipment of gas that had caused HIM to pay higher prices, I wouldn't even mind, because I sure don't expect them to GIVE their gas away. However, the price gouging that went on yesterday was wrong and I hope those people rot in hell.
Oh yes, and my husband and I both had our say loud and clear on the subject at our local gas retailer. Not that anybody gives a damn. It's all about the almighty dollar and looking out for number 1.
I don't fit in well with a world such as this. It makes me very sad, it does.
It's just like Rob was saying about his co-worker gouging for ice during another hurricane.
It's just despicable.
Yesterday, however, was ridiculous. They didn't pay any more for the gas that was in their tanks yesterday. As a matter of fact one of my retailers said that there was NO WAY they were going to run out of gas because they had just topped off earlier in the week. So why did that guy go from charging 2.39 to 3.29 in about an hour? Greed, pure and simple and it disgusts me. In some places it was 5.87. THAT is what caused the gas shortage in Ga. Greedy bastards.
Had he had to have a shipment of gas that had caused HIM to pay higher prices, I wouldn't even mind, because I sure don't expect them to GIVE their gas away. However, the price gouging that went on yesterday was wrong and I hope those people rot in hell.
Oh yes, and my husband and I both had our say loud and clear on the subject at our local gas retailer. Not that anybody gives a damn. It's all about the almighty dollar and looking out for number 1.
I don't fit in well with a world such as this. It makes me very sad, it does.
It's just like Rob was saying about his co-worker gouging for ice during another hurricane.
It's just despicable.
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