Mondays are GREAT!

I love Mondays. It is a day off for me to recuperate from our busy weekends.

Saturday afternoon rolled around and the husband and I were casting about for something to do. It was a toss between the truck race and Oktoberfest in Helen. We opted for Oktoberfest in Helen due to the fact that my husband had already just driven across Atlanta his requisite two times for the day and he just couldn't muster up any enthusiasm for doing it two more times only these two times in traffic where people are GUARANTEEDto be NASCAR driver wannabes. And, on the way back, there is always the risk that one or more of those wannabes is under the influence. Better to go to a festival where we are SURE of the influence, hehe.

My husband kept asking me if I was SUREhe didn't want me to throw the blankets in the car just in case we felt the need to run to the car and ummm...huddle under the blankets. I politely informed him that we were NOT bringing blankets, that if it came down to that, there were SEVERAL motels right there in town...and at our ages we could assuredly wait until we got home, which is a MERE 30 min. away. Besides, I knew how cold it was going to get that night.

Seriously, though, I guess at Oktoberfest, since there are only 2 entrances and exits, they are monitored pretty closely in order to keep it a safe place for all.

On the way to Helen, there was a car dealership that just happened to be one that he had been looking at in a magazine here recently. They apparently had some police Camaros that were used as pursuit vehicles in recent years. I think that's the biggest reason we wound up choosing Helen. So we walked around the lot, the salesperson told some lies...and some big ones too..told me that a Trans Am they had was Michael Waltrip's pace car in the Daytona 500. Had his name on it. It was a convertible. Had the Daytona 500 sticker on it. But it sure wasn't a pace car.

We checked out the atmosphere and decided that it was going to be get a room and stay all night or go home. We went home. It was cold out there and my poor baby got to aching pretty bad.

He was aching bad enough that he mentioned that perhaps, just perhaps, it is time for him to go get a physical and get the paperwork filled out for a handicapped license plate. It cost him to say that, bless his heart. That IS what he needs to do....that and probably wear some long-johns. I guess when you have metal rods implanted into your femur, the cold certainly does affect you a little differently.

I gave him the usual treatment..nice long backrub, 4 ibuprofen, some magnesium, and made sure there was plenty of blankets on the bed and that the heat was turned up. Man, let me tell ya, having hot flashes and doing all that..I sure hope it works. He got up pretty chipper this morning and SAID that he wasn't hurting anymore, but somehow I just don't believe him. He was saying last night..no I don't hurt...OW...etc. I do believe he is going to be passing out the candy tonight.

We were thinking of our fellow bloggers as we caroused the streets of Helen, me wondering out loud what "Tubing the Hooch" was...of course thinking it was dirty, and my husband giving me a look, like..."I'm not sure that I'd care to meet any of these people", directly warring with the challenge that was inadvertantly thrown down when I reported that they seemed to party like animals. The old..."Well, if they're like THAT, then they can't be too bad." You see, we've not had very good luck with meeting people after having met them on the internet. To me, it's just an extra step in the process...and you have the HOPE of meeting people that you are chemically compatible with...because the decision on whether or not you like a person is almost always based upon chemistry, is it not? Anyway, I was a little embarrassed to realize that I not only knew what "Tubing the Hooch" was, I had also done it several times, albeit in a bit warmer weather.

So, we were home by 9:30 feeling rather old, wishing we knew some other people around here that we could party with a little. I'm pretty selective about where I party. It's the control freak in me, I guess...

Yesterday we spent watching the race on tv and eating most of the day. I get to go to the store tomorrow and Wednesday, my husband is off and we have a date to go somewhere. Wednesday is the day we're going to quit smoking, too. I've laid off the last couple of days and going to get the patches tomorrow and we're off and shed of this horrible habit. I'm going to quit TRYING to quit smoking and just quit.

I think next week will probably be a much better week. I'll be through most of the craving and I'll have relieved another major stress from me and that's going to make a HUGE difference. One can only hope.

Singing The Blues

The kid who has been grounded for his grades is saying that he got A's on the last two tests in English and Biology. As well, he reports that he hasn't had to put forth that much more total effort than he was putting forth in the first place. He said the only thing he is doing different is taking a few min. to reread the lessons for the day and make sure he understands them.

These are good answers, but I still don't buy it yet. I'm looking for a little consistancy here.

I get told all this by my husband who is giving me the puppy dog eyes on behalf of the kid saying that he deserves to have the leash loosened up a bit.

I have a couple of different feelings on that request and they all add up to "Not only no, but hell, no."

Y'all know I love my husband but when it comes to the kids he is a naive soul. He just believes whatever they tell him, I swear it. I have heard this time and time again from this kid. He always tells us about the A's...it's the failing grades he just neglects to mention. So, cry me a fucking river, but after 10 years of trying to get his little underachieving ass to just do a little bit more so that he can be successful, and having been met with all this stubbornness and attitude...he can spend the entire 4 weeks grounded. I don't trust him and I don't believe him and when it comes out in writing, then I will. He did this to himself. I haven't actually seen a test paper with an A on it...To my husband's credit, he doesn't go behind my back or anything..he allows the discipline to ride, but he just hates being the bad guy.

And, I haven't been heartless..he's been allowed to go to the home football games at school on Friday nights. And, after progress reports, if he's done as well as he's saying, then I'm willing to let up on him on Friday and Saturday nights..but school nights, oh no.

See, my other kids I don't have this problem with. Hell, even my daughter, if she's tired, will just go and take a nap. My little dude won't...but that's a different story altogether. He will at least sit down and watch a movie quietly. All of them come home and get their homework knocked out...except that one. The other ones recognize when it's time to button down and focus and when it's time to play.

My oldest one, for all of his uneven maturity level, though he seems to be getting a clue lately...yay...has always had a job since he was 17 years old. He's had the same job since he got out of high school and he has missed only a handful of days, all for good reasons (mostly car trouble). He has an excellent work ethic and that has saved his ass in so many ways, he probably doesn't even know. And, he is focused on his work, as well. He doesn't allow his partying to interfere with his ability to get to work, or perform while he's there. He's there on time every day and pretty much does quiet stuff during the week. I love watching him spend time with the little people. They worship the ground he walks on.

My 15 yr old even recently made the decision to drop his extra curricular activities in order to be able to focus more on school. He tried to keep his schedule balanced enough to be able to continue, but Spanish wasn't as easy as he thought and requires a lot more practice than he thought and he's committed more to his school work.

My 19 yr old is the shining star of the bunch. I don't know why he got a clue so early in life, but this kid has always been a hard worker and is going places. Not only is he working at the same place my husband does..and it's some hard, physical work they do there fixing industrial machinery, but he goes to college full time and he's restoring his Pontiac Ventura. Numbers restoring is out. The idea now is to restore the car to LOOK classic, but have all the modern fuel efficient technology under the hood. Fuel injection is IT. Carburetors are cool..but, they burn too much gas and not efficiently enough.

This right here is why I love having so many kids. There is always one fucking up at any given time. When you have that one that's being an ass, it makes you feel like a failure. Having so many, I can look around and see that ...nope, I'm not a failure..it's just his turn.

I have to thank God they take it in turns for me instead of everybody being that way all at once. I'd be a lunatic for sure if it was like that. One or two at a time...fine.

Today, we're driving up to Helen to participate in Oktoberfest a little and do a little car shopping on the way. I am really looking forward to getting out of the house for awhile other than Sam's Club, Food Lion, and Wal-Mart. I need a life.

Musical Tastes

Your Musical Tastes Match: Dale Earnhardt Jr.

See his whole playlist here (iTunes required)

What Celebrity Matches Your Taste in Music?

Brain Pattern

Your Brain's Pattern

You have a dreamy mind, full of fancy and fantasy. You have the ability to stay forever entertained with your thoughts. People may say you're hard to read, but that's because you're so internally focused. But when you do share what you're thinking, people are impressed with your imagination.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

Push Finally Came To Shove

This week has pretty much sucked. I can't breathe...my own fault. It's getting tough to navigate the stairs without having to sit down and rest for an extended period of time. I'm not getting much accomplished in the way of physical activity and I don't have the energy to even think about it any more.

It's time for the cigarettes to go. I have tried to quit before and I'm going to try again. I hate myself for doing this to myself. I have become one of those I despise...you know the stupid fucks that piss on the fence even when they know it's going to kill them. Yeah, that's me and I don't like it.

Back when I had to go in the hospital, I found out then that I have COPD. What this means for the future...I don't know. If I quit smoking I'm sure that it's not progressed enough to be much of a problem in the future...but I HAVE to quit smoking.

Probably for the next week or so, I'm going to wind up sleeping a lot to get through some of the addiction. I know this works pretty well...and thankfully I have the time to do it that way.

I just wish they made rehab for cigarettes.

Next I have to work through the anger of being in this place to begin with. I'm angry at my addiction to cigarettes and that I have been too weak to be able to stop smoking them even knowing they are killing me. Hell, my dad died of lung cancer for crying out loud.

I'm angry because I hated cigarettes and my mother didn't believe that I didn't smoke when I was 12 and made me smoke a pack of Camels. I didn't know how to inhale or anything until that night. By the time she was done with the belt and the cigarettes, I was hooked. Thanks, Mom...way to parent.

So, that's my day and the mood I'm in. Sorry.

A Little Sex Talk

Having 6 kids, it's pretty safe to say I have a sex story or two...

I can hear the ears of the blog world perking up as I write..(grin)

You don't normally hear me talk that much about sex, and especially not the whys and wherefores. Part of that is because it's just not my style and another part of that is because sex for me is like food, drink, sleep...it is something that needs to happen every day. And twice on days off. I do appreciate modern medicine and the fact that my tubes are tied. That does help tremendously. After awhile, yes, you do figure out where babies come from. Lord, those jokes get old...

Well, it's not necessary for me, personally, to have sex that often, but to paint a picture for you....5 of these children carry half of my husband's genes; only 3 of them carry half of my genes...you do the math.

Anyway, as I have illustrated, I have married a man who has a little bit higher libido than me. And that's saying a lot because my husband is a self proclaimed man-whore. He claims that if he was a woman he'd be the biggest porn chick out there...I tend to disagree with him, but it's his lie, I'll let him tell it any way he wants. At this point for me it gets like too much of a good thing, it's like never being hungry and being the alpha female I am, I like to do the stalking occasionally and participate in the hunt...

I love being married to a man-whore for several reasons. Number one, the secret to the man-whore is variety. When they are younger, the form of variety is well, variety. The older man-whore has realized that it's much easier to deal with the right ONE woman, than several... Anyway, it doesn't take MUCH variety...like today I'm going to put on a dress and some makeup instead of the usual jeans...just a little. That brings me to my other point about loving being married to a man like that...they are very easy to please. But, you have to understand men like that do view sex as ranking up there with the needs daily. There are a lot of reasons for it...for my husband, it includes stress management, and pain relief. Men get weird when the testosterone levels get too high. It's not just some bs that he feeds me ...I've observed this in other men, as well. So, to deny your husband sex is to deny him food, water, emotional support...and that's just about the meanest thing I can think to do to a guy, honestly.

How does one get around that issue in a marriage where one just doesn't feel like it and the other really needs it. Well, as in everything else...compromise and honesty. Just because I don't feel like it doesn't mean that I can't take care of his needs...right? Make it a little treat....and for heavens sake wimmen....it is just skin....try it you might like it...the rewards you will reap will be tremendous.

I had a babysitter that told me once...Kelly...learn how to give a good blow job, it'll get you far in life....I thought she was nuts at the time, but in a way she was right.

Trust me, men are in a dog eat dog world every single day. Men are ruthless and they have no compunctions about using any kind of weakness against another guy to turn an extra buck or two or to get one step up on the ladder. It's quite primal...and a guy that can go into that sucky job every day feeling like he's the king of the hill and know that he's the man and that he's loved and if he has a shitty day, his wife will make it all better and if he has a great day, his wife will be there to celebrate. That does a hell of a lot for a guy's self esteem.

What happens in return is they start becoming more in tune with our needs..the need to have someone listen, the need to have a shoulder to cry on...all those non-sexual things women bitch about men not giving...well....give a little, get a little.

See, I was born to be married to a man-ho because though I was no virgin, I WAS shopping for the right man to release my inner ho!

And being the salty sailor that he was, and being 9 years older than me, he had sailed around the world a couple of times and had learned a trick or two...I do believe he has some Thailand stories to tell and Philippine stories if I can ever get him to get into this blog thing.

As you can see...a match made in heaven. In 10 years of marriage, he has only turned me down once. (And he regrets that time, trust me...LOL)

I have actually only recently come to these realizations, believe it or not. For a lot of years, I played along to humor him, but I didn't really get it. Now that I get it, he says I owe him big for a few Remeron years...LOL!!!

I begin my repayment on Wednesdays, which are now designated date days...we will be probably eating lunch together indoors when the weather gets cold..but you can believe that there's going to be a few picnics while it's warm..hehehe.

It does a hell of a lot for a woman's self esteem to have a man who never ever lets her forget she's a woman, too. I don't have that identity crisis so much...feeling like I'm just a mommy to all these people. I KNOW I'm not his mommy...mmmmm mmmmm....

And, let me tell y'all, he's a chick magnet, too. He looks a little like Tom Selleck ..but more rugged...when he doesn't have his beard, but I really like the beard...hehehe. And, he just oozes masculinity. It's all about the chemistry, let me tell ya. And there's no bigger compliment than your husband saying..."Geez, I didn't know you could have sex like that when you were this old..." Hell Yeah!! I am woman!!!

And I do believe it's a proven fact that women that have confidence in themselves sexually, are more productive and that confidence bleeds over into every area of their lives. I know it does mine. I would be a much different person without my husband in my life. It is so cool to be married to your best friend. It's hard for words to describe.

Dayum!...that pretty much says it.

I'm It!

Dana tagged me with my first meme ever. So, I guess, Dana, that means we lost our virginity together, eh? (evil grin)


What were three of the stupidest things you have done in your life?

You know, I have to say that everything I have done has led me to this point. The lessons that I have learned from doing "stupid" things in my life are some of the most valuable, so I guess I don't consider them stupid.

Ok...one...the first time I ever got drunk, I drank a half a fifth of vodka straight. I really didn't get much from that experience, except sick.


At the current moment, who has the most influence in your life? Me.




If you were given a time machine that functioned, and you were allowed to only pick up to five people to dine with, who would you pick?

I don't do the time machine thing either. I try to live my life with no regrets...live with the choices I make and alter the plan as needed. I live totally in the present because for me, the past is too painful. I didn't like it then, and I see no need to return to an unhappy place now. I like to live in the present while learning from the past and planning for the future. And I would really hate to meet anyone from the past that has been idolized and find out that they were really a horrible person that just got terribly terribly lucky....see what I mean?
I mean, the very thought that Abe Lincoln was gay...who would really want to know that for sure? And, why go back in time to meet Jesus? We're all going to get that opportunity soon enough...

In the present...and not necessarily in any kind of order

Roseanne Barr

President Bush

Gretchen Wilson

Kid Rock

John Nash


If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they be?

1. Immortality for me and mine...


2. Be stinking, filthy rich..have so much money I couldn't GIVE it all away in 3 lifetimes. That way I could spend it doing the things I want...helping people get that start that they need to be really successful.

3. The ability to heal.




Name two things you regret your city not having, and two things people should avoid.


Hell, I haven't explored my city enough to know. I'm pretty sure Atlanta has about everything now, eh? I'm looking forward to the new Aqualand opening up..I think that'll be pretty cool.

Seriously, out here by the Lake, we're 45 min from the mountains, 1 hour from the ocean within 2 hours of several racetracks...any kind of shopping you want..plenty of places to fish and hunt...what more is there that a body needs?



Name one thing that has changed your life.

Joining the Navy.

Knowledge Has It's Burdens

Being close with your kids is not for the feint hearted, let me tell you.

I thought that perhaps today I was going to get to sleep in and have a relaxing Saturday morning discussing something philosophical and intelligent, rather than the usual.

Not to happen this morning. I did figure out where the "blah, in a rut" feeling comes from...it's the coming hurricane. It's hurricane anxiety..ugh and so I can't imagine how the people that are in the path of it feel. My thoughts are with you folks though. It'll be over soon and we'll have a break.

Anyway, the alarm went off at 4 and 5 respectively as usual, as today is a work day for my husband and 19 yr old. I thought I was going to ignore my alarm though and catch a nap til 7 or so and then cook some breakfast for this crowd. I managed to ignore my alarm, but my husband came up 10-15 min later and informed me that the Friday night party was still happening in the garage so I better put some clothes on before I went down to smoke my morning cigarette. That told me right there that I just ought to quit thinking...LOL! He didn't intend for me to get up, but it was too late. I had to know.

There they were, 3 of my adopted guys and one gal whom I'm probably going to wind up adopting, as she appears to be one of the guys, too. And, I don't mean that in any kind of way except that she's part of the crowd. Anyway, so there they are..sitting around in various stages of stupor. One of them was a little hyperactive, though..but I have been forwarned of this. At least the sleep walker wasn't here. That was about a wierd experience...one night we were sleeping away and this kid walks into our bedroom like he knew where he was going and walked over to the closet door and just stood there. We guided him back out and I doubt he even remembers it. My son says after we relate the incident to him .."Oh by the way, he's a sleepwalker..." Thanks! Would have been nice to know BEFORE that experience.

Anyway, I digress. So these guys have been known to sing like drunken Irishmen whenever they are drunk and they were dangerously close to breaking out in song whenever I got up. My one neighbor kid who's been on my shit list apologized for his misdeeds and outlined his plan to get back into college taking Botany, what he really wants to learn, instead of Business Management. Good to know! The other one expressed plans of going to college and the other one was talking about his job doing non-destructive testing on government stuff and how cool it was. It's good to hear from these kids.

So, as I'm listening to each of them fill me in, my neighbor kid pipes up with "Kelly's the shit, isn't she?" and glasses were raised in my honor.

Little did I know..this was a setup. See, some of these kids have been around for the blowouts that happen around here. Many of these kids have been coming around since middle school. We're not shy..especially when avoidance tactics have been used. One of them specifically heard me say the other day that no more were girls allowed to spend the night.

I have a daughter here that I'm trying to raise right. Children learn from their envrionment around them. He'll get it, though, because I already opened the door by asking him how he was going to feel when his sister wanted to earn her own beads. Words like kill, maim, murder, torture...came out of his mouth in regards to that subject.

So, after the toast, my neighbor kid informs me that there is one other person at the house...my son's new girlfriend. Dayum...did I not just SAY that no girls are to be spending the night? Geez. I was prepared to take a hard core stance on this issue. But then, they inform me that her presence here is due to extenuating circumstances and they know that if I heard them I would understand. So, damn it, I decided to listen and I had to agree with him...the circumstances were extenuating.

The girl in question went to a friend's house last night and the friend had a few people over and she got her drink spiked and roughed up by some dude. She ran away and went to a gas station and called my son to come and get her. Why on earth she didn't call her parents is beyond me. So, my son and the neighbor kid went to fetch her and let her regain her composure over here. I guess she had only been here for a little while when I got up this morning. And I sure as hell don't want him waking me up at 2 am for a situation like that when he has it under control, so I'm at a loss.

See, in a way, I'm trying to fight a basic part of his personality. Every single friend of his that comes here, that's part of my extended children family, is here because of his soft heart and his loyalty. We have this established as a safe haven and his friends appreciate that aspect of it as well. None of those boys wants to come over here and tell us they screwed up, but tell us they will because we always seem to find out. It's like they are forcing us to be parents to them, too and it's not something I can turn off. It's really almost like I have 14 or 15 children sometimes instead of just 1. So, it's just natural for him to bring people here that are hurting or need some comfort because they are going to get it all the way around here.

They were quick to inform me, also, that this girl is special...not like the most recent one, and he would probably appreciate a little lenience and understanding on this issue. So, I decided to go with that advice and roll with it a little. The boy is going to have to learn someday, somehow that he cannot save the world, though. Lord, what a softy he is. (And I think it's rather cool, though...my oldest son, someone's knight in shining armor...)

They were all really quick to understand my reasoning behind this being just an indiscriminate practice and how it could get out of hand with my daughter being present. All those guys love her like she was their sister..I think that's part of the requirements for admittance into the circle..LOL. Anyway, when I explained the rule to the rest of them, I saw a bunch of lightbulbs come on, even for the other little gal that was here. They certainly don't want her acting like that and thinking she can just spend the night over at some guy's house. Oh hell no. This little gal is going to be the undoing of all of them...LOL!!!! I can't wait!

The way I figure it is that if we get sick of him and his messes and we are his family, then roommates will get sick of it faster and that kind of pain is a little excessive. He is getting it and getting with the program now that we have his attention. If he can get along here as an adult and be able to follow the rules, then he'll be fine on his own because the things we are asking are not much.

The ones that were still up got directed to clean up their mess while I had THEIR attention. When my son got up, he helped me finish up the rest, all the while bitching about how his $51 bottle of rum got little bugs and ashes in it because someone was too rough and knocked the cork inside it. I said to him..."Well, if that's how they treat your stuff, close the bar, you dumbass." DING...went the lightbulb. I said, "I don't have a problem doing it, if you want..." You KNOW he didn't want that...LOL!!!

You know, sometimes I get tired of knowing stuff. When you know about it, you have to deal with it and it feels like I am constantly dealing with SOMETHING...and I am..but it could be worse. I have to sit back and be grateful because, though it is that way, it means that they trust me enough to tell me things or to make sure that I get the news somehow. It means that I am in a proper position to help them make a right decision instead of a wrong one, or make a bad situation go away instead of get worse, just listen when they are upset, and share their joy in their accomplishments. They get into a certain amount of trouble, but if they didn't have the boundaries, then it would be a whole hell of a lot worse, I'm sure.

One thing that I have always tried to be with my kids is real. I am honest with them as I expect them to be with me. They go through life idolizing us as parents and then one day, they realize we are just human too and if we've perpetuated that pedestal they've placed us on, then it's a long fall sometimes. I have had occasionally where I have made grievous errors in judgement due to my own humanity. I had to answer to each and every one of my kids when it happened. I didn't sugar coat it, I told them, I screwed up and my thinking got faulty and I had to go to a place and get a crash course in how to deal with shit the right way. And, I have to believe that what they learned is that we all screw up occasionally, but when we do, we HAVE to take the consequences of, and responsibility for, our actions like the men and women we are and move beyond that.

Many times, when our older kids question our decisions, it feels like a challenge of authority and in a way it is. I have found that if I just give the reasoning behind the decision, it really does make things a lot better. Something my kids never hear out of my mouth is "Because I said so." They understand that there are times when I cannot explain my reasoning and they know to just obey during those times and wait. When the time is opportune, the crisis passes, or the situation de-escalates, is the time for explanations and they always get them. When your kids see you doing something wrong, and they call you on it ..like smoking, drinking, anything really, it's really important to understand that they are truly confused if they see you doing something and saying something else. And if it's important enough that you don't want your kids to know you're doing it or you don't want them to feel a certain way, then it's up to you to do what's necessary to make it right. If you don't want them engaging in a certain behavior, then you shouldn't either. It's pretty cut and dried. And even if you don't, they might choose to, and when they're adults, there's a certain amount of their choices that you just have to accept. My philosophy was that if it was going to be that way anyway, why not start right away with that practice...within the boundaries of their age...

So, all in all, I'm grateful that I have the time to spend with them in order to get the big picture of things. I'm glad that they believe this to be a safe place to be and a safe place for their friends to be. I'm glad to know, also, that safe and responsible are correlated in their minds. They are also clear that their privileges can be revoked at any time if they aren't smart enough to make the right choices. They are smart enough to know that they are the ones that have control over this environment and that if they get stupid, then the fun comes to an end.

They have learned that it's necessary and good to have fun, but you cannot have fun at the expense of your obligations. Your obligations, such as work and school must come first. If at any time your fun interferes with your ability to fulfill said obligations, the fun is cut off. Work first, play later.

I Think I'm in A Rut

Everybody around me is doing things...accomplishing things...there are times I feel the world is passing me by.

It's the beginning of the empty nest syndrome. My eldest completed his repairs on his truck last night...all by himself. He also cleaned up the mess he made AND put all the tools away. He's got a new gal in his life (who knew all I had to do was throw the shoes away...geez...) and I was able to get across that he needs to ask us before he has company over..with the exception of the adopted posse who is already established..but new people and especially girls he cares for, he needs to let us know so we can be on our best behavior. He gave me a look like it didn't really matter to him before conceding my point..and I was honored in a way. His way of doing things is "Accept me as I am or don't accept me at all". He doesn't cotton with people trying to change him, especially not women. Anyway, apparently that applies to us, his family, as well...accept us as we are, or be gone with you. That's asking a lot from most people, honestly and it really does work in his favor to do it our way...but if you're going to win a battle you have to beat them at their own rules. And, if he has a female over for company, they must leave that night because I'm REALLY not at my best in the morning. Point, match, set.

Anyway, when I really get to thinking, I realize that the world really isn't passing me by...and these people, though their accomplishments are their own, would not be able to accomplish nearly what they have been able to without the support they receive from me at home. But it doesn't stop that longing for someone to be proud of me for something occasionally..something extraordinary...soemthing that makes a difference, you know? But, then, they bring me their friends for that...maybe I have what I want already...most people do and don't even recognize it.

The Fruits of Your Labor

It has been a glorious week! The kids went back to school today after their fall break, which was a 5 day weekend. We got the Halloween decorations out and decided upon costumes. This weekend we will be shopping for accessories. My little dude wants to be bloody and gory and my daughter wants to be beautiful.

As I've mentioned my eldest son has been in car repair hell. I am very proud of him, though. He came home from work one day, and immediately cleaned the bathroom. Then, he came and gave me money for dog food (it's his dog) commenced to working on his truck. He has become frustrated a couple of different times with it, but has persisted. He will not let his father help him because as he said.."Dad, I'm tired of getting halfway through a project and then you having to finish it for me. I am going to finish this." It was a simple job of changing the power steering pump. It has turned into the pump, and the reservoir, and the hoses and last night, he didn't get the belts on right and has to replace those this morning. But, he got up first thing this morning and went right back to it. He's in a good mood and didn't let his frustration bleed out onto the whole family. I'm seriously happy right now. My husband was mumbling under his breath something about he could do it himself and if the boy would just let him help, then he could have his car back..blah blah blah.

I told him...Let the boy struggle...and when he finishes...tell him you're proud...this is what we want and how convenient for us that it's what he wants too.

He does not like it that we've been upset with him. He wants to do the right thing..and he knows that if there is something he needs help with, we will help him. But, just because we can do it better and faster does not mean we should do it for him. He let me direct him to the proper book that has the belt routing diagram on it..that's the kind of help he wants at this stage and that's a good thing.

Sometimes I wonder who's going to suffer from the empty nest worse...me or my husband....

My 17 yr old has shown signs of getting it too. My 19 yr old I haven't seen much of because he's been studying, working, or at school. I see him at one meal time a day and in the morning for a few minutes. My 15 yr old just did this math project that was beyond my understanding. It turned out great, though, and he was bursting with pride.

My little two are very entertaining. They, too, are being advanced to the next levels of responsibility. Around here, your level of contribution to the family as a whole, determines your level of privileges...

My little people have been old enough to get their own cereal for a little while. Well, my daughter has...my little dude is just now big enough to carry a full gallon of milk to the table. Anyway, so now they trade off getting breakfast. It's his job to get the cereal, spoons, and bowls out and she gets the milk and pours it and makes toast if they are so inclined. (I supervise all this..) The day before yesterday, I go into the kitchen and there she is standing there stirring her cup of coffee...yes, my 9 year old daughter got up, saw there was coffee in the pot..poured herself some, added milk and sugar...and drank it...LOL!!! Proud as hell of herself too. Then, when her older brother got up, she made his cup for him, too.

Oh, the day we allowed her to use the microwave to cook popcorn..that was a sight to behold..the grin on her face.

My kids also fight over the stupidest things...ok, all kids fight over the stupidest things, but my kids fight over the broom, and the vacuum cleaner because they ALL want to do those jobs. They fight over the dishes in a much different way...and never have I seen a bunch of boys want to cut the yard and fight over who got to do it like those guys. Lordy..somebody would be crying because they didn't get to cut the yard that week.

I am not making this stuff up.

It Could Be Worse

My oldest kid is in truck repair hell right now, but determined to complete the project himself. Good for him! As a result, I have been giving him a ride to work for the last couple of days.

I find it easier to just let him drive and follow his normal morning routine. That's kind of an ADHD deal, when you find a routine that works, you stick with it and my guys have always been sensitive to their mornings being disrupted. I guess, most people are that way to a certain extent. You know, when you oversleep and have to rush out the door how it affects the rest of your day. Well, with ADHDers that can kind of be a way of life, and it takes a lot of work to figure out what works for each individual to stop this from occuring...but I digress.

Anyway, part of his morning routine is to stop by the fast food joint and get the same value meal every day. The gal that works there sees him coming and already has it waiting for him when he pulls up to the window. All he has to do is say hi on the speaker. So, we get up to the window and the gal says...Hey, you didn't get HER anything. And he got all flustered. I smiled and said it was ok...and she asked him..."Is that your sister?"

Oh, the look of horror on his face as he stammered out ...NO..this is my ..um stepmom. (he's never been comfortable calling me stepmom, but never comfortable calling me mom either...) The gal then said .."All the more reason for you to get her something..." (Hell yeah!) Then we drove away, an uncomfortable silence spreading throughout the vehicle.

And, then I started laughing...I said, "Well, kid, from my point of view, that experience ROCKED, but I can see where you might be a little freaked out." I got the answering grin in response. Then I said, "Well, it could have been worse, she could have asked if I was your girlfriend or something." Hehehe...

My Mother Mantra

Or, I guess it could apply to fathers too. Anybody that knows me knows that I have issues with my mother. I have learned a few things from analyzing the situation to death. It pretty much boils down to this.

Just because she is your mother does not give her the right to treat you that way.

She has her own issues that she's battling with that are her very own.

These are not your fault, nor your responsibility.

You cannot change her.

You can still feel sorry for her and love her while still doing what is necessary to not allow her to treat you that way. (My answer is distance..geographical and emotional.)

And, she loves you too.

Love alone is not enough to sustain a relationship, even with your mother.

Should she ever decide to take the steps to deal with her own problems, you can certainly be there to support her.

But, you are an adult and you know right from wrong.

It is your responsibility to lead where she cannot.

There is no greater revenge than success.

Back to My Usual Sweet Self

And if you believe that, boy do I have some stuff to sell you...ha! ha! ha!

A nice backrub (my husband is the BEST!!!) and a good night's sleep did much to improve my attitude..LOL.

I made a ham the other night with all the trimmings and the next night I made a big 'ol pot of beans and rice with the leftover hambone and tonight, I am taking the leftover beans and making taco soup. One ham made 3 meals, hell yeah...and 3 good meals, too.

Those silly people were discussing the cornbread as they were serving themselves and it was a new recipe and I added a can of corn and they were exclaiming..."Wow, there's real CORN in the cornbread"...THAT made me feel good!!!

Didn't watch too much of the race. Once I figured out they were just going to wreck every 30 laps, it just kind of lost it's appeal. That's one of those nights that it just sucks to be a race car driver. But, Tony Stewart, though he wrecked, wrecked with the most style of anyone I saw all night.

I also watched the last 10 min or so of the USC vs. Notre Dame game and OH MY GOD...was that an exciting 10 min or what? 4 touchdowns in 4 minutes...THAT was exciting. Caught a little bit of the Falcons vs. Saints game last night...last quarter or so and that was exciting as well! I think I prefer college football, though, much like I prefer the Truck, Busch, or ARCA series..

The professional sports players are just all SO GOOD that it makes watching the games boring...it's true with the Cup Series as well...just personal preference, I guess.

Got extra help around the house today as all the children are having fall break. There is painting getting done, bannisters getting fixed, trash being taken out, all kinds of groovy things are happening in the house today.

I am off to the grocery store to ensure a proper nutritional balance for my crew. They'll strike on me if I don't feed them right...yeah, that strike stuff can work both ways, that's why it's a good idea not to abuse it...

Saturdays Just Suck

I have no earthly reason at this point in my life to look forward to Saturday. No sleeping in. Same ol' same ol....

It's 10am and already I have been to the bank, been to the grocery store, fed people breakfast, and cleaned up knees and elbows from a scooter accident.

I have not slept in 3 nights. I have had excruciating cramps for 2 of them. Somebody keeps inching the thermometer up until I am sweating to death. One minute I am cold and the next I am hot...I just love being a woman today. And, I do not care for one minute if they are freezing inside. They don't even want to be inside anyway...all they want to be is outside. I am the one who has to do the majority of my work inside..and there are plenty of fucking blankets in the house for sleeping.

And if they want to KEEP fucking with the air conditioner, they THEY can lock themselves in my hot box of a kitchen and cook supper until it's 3 hundred and fucking 75 in there and I'll sit on the couch with a parka and bitch about the quality of the food.

At this point, I do not care who I have to hurt in order to keep the air conditioner set where I fucking put it. THEY are not the ones that have to function like this. THEY have work and school where they are where the temperature apparently suits them. WELL FINE...they all need to spend some extra time there and not be here messing up the house so much and fucking with the air conditioner.

And it's only 2 fucking days a month that they have to be nice to me. That's a helluva lot less than the other however the fuck many days there are left in a month that I'm nice to them. For 2 fucking days a month, I get to have it MY way..I really don't think that's asking too damn much. Deal with it.

Fun Stuff

Ok, I'm sure every married person has their jokes..things they do for fun...

We used to make fun of his ex-wife in private. Everything from the way she dresses to the way she talks ...nothing was taboo..that got boring after so many years though.

Now, we are plotting revenge upon our children. The oldest one first. First we are going to break his couch. We have not decided whether we are going to do it while having the sex or not...THAT would kill two birds with one stone.

Of course, we're going to drink all the beer in his refrigerator...

And, when he has kids...oh that's when the fun begins. All those times he has brought candy home for my little ones to eat either right before supper or right before bed...oh yeah! Those babies are going to come to Grandma's house and go home SO wound up, they won't sleep for 3 days...hahaha...

Anybody else want to play?

Personal Day

I am still in my pajamas and I spent the day reading. We're having pizza tonight and if anybody else in this house touches the thermostat, I'm going to break their fingers.

And while I'm in such a lovely mood, let me tell you how the Cinderella story would have turned out if Cinderella was a 'ho.

The clock strikes midnight and instead of heading home like the Fairy Godmother said, she decided to party it up with the Prince some and maybe put out a little.

Well, they had a grand ol' time. In the morning, the Prince put Cinderella in a royal carriage and went on about his royal duties.

Unbeknownst to either of them, Cinderella had left her slippers up under the Queen's couch. The Queen took the shoes, deposited them into the nearest trash receptacle. The Prince had the balls to come and ask the Queen what happened to the slippers and she replied sweetly...Oh, those, I threw them away...hahahaha! And the Prince replied with a grin, "Oh, it's like THAT is it?" Game on.

Ahh, The Life Of A Mom

Here is a short list of utterly stupid shit I have to worry about every single day because if I don't, then bad stuff happens. Enjoy...

Bringing in a new fabric softener. I used to use a brand name. I finally got them where they wouldn't pour it straight into the washing machine dispenser undiluted..finally got them trained to use the cap. Well, I was at the store and saw a cheaper brand that has a button dispenser and sits on the dryer and it comes with a handy 8 oz. cup. Well, don't ya just know they will not read the instructions that say to put the fabric softener to line 1, and fill the rest with water, they'll fill the entire 8 oz cup up with fabric softener and use it undiluted. I have to make sure and instruct every single person in this house on the correct procedure for the new fabric softener.

Rearranging my kitchen. I must do this nearly every day as they just put stuff where there's a hole. They will put food with the bowls, glasses with cans, you name it. I must relocate almost everything in my kitchen every morning. It's easier if they just don't unload the dishwasher...

Socks. I have no idea what these people do with half their socks but I know I have approximately 100 lbs. worth of unmatched socks in my bedroom. I have found socks stashed everywhere including behind the decorative cat my mother in law keeps on her stairs. The cushions of the couch are also a favorite place for socks.

Fingernail clippers. I must keep these under lock and key. If I don't, one of my absentminded one will use the fingernail clippers to clip things other than fingernails...oh, say, paper clips, for example. This wreaks it's own havoc upon the vacuum cleaner, which is a whole story by itself.

Where the hell do all the toilet paper holders go? Hell, I don't care which way it hangs, just as long as it hangs. This picking it up off the floor or having to contort to reach in the cabinet or whatever...has got to stop.

Choosing the right size trash can for the size of trash you have in your hand. The milk jug WILL NOT fit in the little tiny bathroom trash can and if you make it fit, then there isn't any more room to throw trash out, so now you have to empty it in the trash can it should have gone in the first place. Geez, take a one step job and turn it into two.

Loading the dishwasher. This isn't one that is a problem anymore but it used to be when they were little. This is much like the trash size deal...they would put like 2 pots and some glasses in the dishwasher and think they were done because they filled the dishwasher. We can't get any more in there, they would say...I made them do the remaining ones by hand...and they quit that.

I'm sure there's more..but you get the idea...so, anyone want my job? hahaha

A Pig, A Sheep, and A Shotgun

That pretty much sums up the week I had last week. I took the day off yesterday and just read for the most part. I finished the book I was reading...the Complete and Uncut version of The Stand.. and a few blogs.

Last week was a banner week as far as parenting goes. My husband and I didn't intend to, but we wound up splitting the duties right down the middle. We both talked to the shotgun bearing kid and laid the rules down for the proper ownership and storage of said shotgun..meaning that a hunter's safety course WILL be taken and said shotgun will be stored IN PIECES when not in use. It does not surprise me at all that my rocket boy bought a shotgun. He has proven his reliability and maturity over the years, and his willingness to cooperate with any rules, therefore, he may keep it. He had already signed up for the class before he even brought it home.

My husband dealt with the pig...the kid who leaves gross messes for other people to deal with. Hey, he volunteered for that one...I gave him a choice...LOL! So, we were all sitting in the garage, as usual, and the conversation came around to the subject and I am sitting there, I know, looking like a deer caught in the headlights, casting around for an excuse to leave the conversation to the men and....my daughter opens the door and asked me to help her study for a test. I damn near fell down in my scramble to get to the door and away from the conversation that was about to take place. My husband and son came in about 15 min. later and my son was looking very stony faced and my husband was looking like he was the king cat...LOL. I think the conversation started something like..."This is NOT a discussion."

That left me with the sheep. The sheep was one of the three that came home from Talladega on Sunday night. The sheep, instead of getting a good night's sleep for school the next day, chose to stay up with the adopted kid that's on my shit list and play chicken with a lighter..you know the stupid games young guys play...in my day it was lay a cigarette between two people's arms and whoever flinched first was the chicken. This particular version was played with a lighter. I think my words to him were something like this..."If you want to hurt yourself so bad, then bring yo' ass right on over here so I can kick it for you..." and "The f-d up thing about it is you think you were proving what a MAN you are and all you did was expose yourself as a dumbass because a REAL man is smart enough to know better than to play stupid little boy games in the first place." Aww..they HATE it when I call 'em little boys..hehehe. And, he's grounded since I can't trust him to not do stupid shit to himself.

So, hopefully this week will be a little more mellow. Oh wait, tomorrow is report card day. Yee Haw. I already know how that's going...sigh. Well, my 15 yr old is probably doing fine..but the sheep...hmmm...is going to get herded right to someplace he can make a difference and earn his keep...helping his grandmother take care of his grandfather..since he's obviously not going to college at this rate.

They have GOT to learn young that you get what you put in it.... we don't have room for all this drama and any slackers otherwise stuff just will not get done right. I have very little tolerance for bullshit at this point in my life. I want results, not excuses, and for crying out loud, they need to learn to think for themselves.

Sheesh.

The Token Female

Men make me laugh, sometimes, they really do. So, we're all sitting around the campfire on Saturday night visiting. Me, my husband, married dude and single dude.

Married dude is an extremely analytical kind of guy. From my observations, I would say that he is one that doesn't trust anything. He has very intense eyes that miss nothing.

Single dude is much the same way but hides behind a happy go lucky exterior. He has a naiveness to him that is endearing.

Anyway, I was trying to describe my oldest kid's girlfriend and my reaction to her. I get halfway through and married dude pipes up..."You mean that it's that simple..she was merely in your house?" My husband says.."Oh yeah..you think MEN are territorial? We got NOTHING on women."

Then we have to run through the what if scenarios..so if he or single dude were to bring one of their DAUGHTERS..that would be cool..but if they brought one of their WIVES, that would be a whole different story. I said, "Well, simplistically speaking, yes, that's true..."

But, you can never say these things for sure until you actually meet a person. It's about chemistry...and approach..and it's a very..ummm....basic instinct...for lack of a better word.

Here's an example...The people camping to the left of us were from Texas. My husband and the guy jumped right into a conversation and bonded and all that. His wife and I eyeballed each other for a few minutes before we smiled at each other and met ON THE PROPERTY LINE to check each other out. We chatted for a few minutes and she asked if she could spend some time with the little ones and that was fine with me...and we got along great. She acknowleged me as an alpha female, and vice versa. We had a brief conversation in the evening where we got to know each other a little bit and that was that.

Now, one of the gals to the RIGHT of us got my hackles up. She came over to the campsite, walked right in, bent over my husband with her tits in his face and said "Hey, laryngitis dude, is there a single guy in your group that can come party with us?" She was looking directly into his eyes, with one hand on the top of his chair. I like to have come up out of my chair and kicked her ass right then. I contented myself with a really evil look to start and she got the message and backed off...but still. And it really is that simple.

Anyway, as a result of the conversation, it was decided that married dude wouldn't want to bring his wife anyway because she was a bitch and single dude decided that if he ever got married, he wouldn't bring her, either...keep it a guy thing...and I'm going...hmmm....I don't think so. So, I have to wonder..what the hell is it that guys look for in women. I said...Geez, isn't the whole point of getting married to have someone to DO things with?

Single dude pipes up..."Well, that's great for Y'ALL...it seems to work for y'all..but we don't know why..."

So the whole point of the trip for those guys was to figure out and analyze why it works for my husband and I...and not for them.

At the end of the conversation, married dude prounounced that it was fine that I was the only female there and it could stay that way...and he said it like it was ever a question as to my presence, for one thing, which made me laugh, and like he even had a say-so. He didn't really 'get' why my husband let me stay, but since I'm not inclined to start drama, he decided it was fine with him.

Sunday, at the race, apparently my lack of presence allowed them to open up even further to each other and have some 'real' male bonding. In other words, my husband kissed and told. Saturday night, after everyone went to bed, we stayed up by the fire and did some bonding of our own.

On the walk over to the race, apparently married dude figured that the 'catch' had to be that I didn't put out or something like that. I am not a clingy wife. I don't hang on him or any of that crap. If we didn't choose to reveal it, you'd think we were just drinking buddies. But, we have enough of a connection that we can speak volumes across a room with our eyes..and most people just don't catch that. Anyhoo....married dude did not believe him. Thought he was lying....until they came back from the race and my husband was off doing something and he mentioned that he knew of the events of Saturday night. I blushed really BRIGHT red...and said..."ok...so. Got a problem with that?" His jaw hit the deck.

That dude was so looking for the 'catch' that he couldn't believe it. That IS usually the 'catch' isn't it?

It was when the chick came over looking for a single dude to party that married dude capitalized on her behavior and intimated that my husband had already talked to her...and then sat back and watched the fireworks. And, I'm sorry to say that the fireworks weren't anything worth watching. I said, "Geez, it's tough being married to a chick magnet...and he said, "Well, geez, it's not like it's easy being married to a man magnet either." And we made up..and that was the end of that.

The other thing was that I cleaned up camp Sunday while they were gone. I really didn't think this was a big deal. They relieved me of a lot of cooking responsibilities and so it was the least I could do. Married dude came back and found his grill clean and just about fainted. Really. I mean, I could see the shock in his eyes. And it wasn't just surface clean, like he expected. He took it apart...he couldn't believe it...it was kind of wierd...seeing the mistrust and disbelief in his eyes.

Married dude was really depressed when he left out of there. I was kind of sad for him...but it makes me think even more...what are men looking for in a woman? And why do they settle for less? I feel kind of bad because we like for people to feel happy when they party with us, you know?

So, on that level, it was a wierd experience..to be under such scrutiny and judgement for an entire weekend...was a little unnerving. This was all going on like as an undercurrent, too, and I'm just now getting around to analyzing it and putting it all together.

Men are wierd...and I don't know if I want to be the token female. But as that gives me authority to approve any other woman that comes into our group, that kind of works for me. It also means that they trust my judgement and that if they are fucking up, and I say so, they'll listen. That's because it's already established that I am not a drama queen...if I have a feeling about something, it's valid.

All in all, it's good to be the queen....LOL!!!!

More Talladega...

Told y'all that this might be a two or more parter...LOL

Anyway, this next bit is so cool, it's really worth mentioning.

You might ask yourself, how is it possible to cover 3000 acres full of drunken rednecks and maintain the peace? Police presence of course and lots of them.

We were sitting around the campsite in the heat of the day drinking beers and listening to music, watching the little ones play right across the road from us and we started noticing all the police cars. Police cars that had tags from every state in the Union, almost. Didn't notice too many from the hurricane hit places this year, understandably.

Apparently, the racetrack has a special deal for any policeman willing to volunteer for a week (I think it's a week). I don't know what the package contains, but these policemen come from all over to take their vacations at Talladega. I would imagine race tickets are certainly part of the deal and I'm not sure about lodging. They seem real happy to be there for the most part. They spend a lot of time during the day riding around identifying the potential troublemakers...and nights breaking up the drunken fights and whatnot. There's more of it in one campground which is referred to as the "wild" campground than in the one we usually stay at which is mellower and more family oriented. They are authorized to defuse any situation and restrain people involved in an incident...the only thing they can't do, that I know of is make an actual arrest. They have to wait for the Alabama police to show up..which there are plenty of them, too...to make an arrest and all that.

I gotta stop and really be grateful for these folks. I'm not sure if I was a cop I would want to take my vacation and spend it breaking up drunken fights and whatnot. So...THANKS!

Things That Don't Come Up In Parenting Manuals

What would YOU do if you walked into your bathroom and found a USED condom on the back of the toilet with the wrapper laying on the sink?

I'm just askin'.

Watch What You Say

This is a golden rule when you have kids. It starts when they're little because nothing is worse than a little 3 or 4 year old dropping the F bomb, you know?

Or getting information traumatic to them or discussing things that they just can't understand...you get the drift.

You'd think this would change after they get older. I am here to report that I got burned by my own words once again.

Right after Hurricane Katrina, we were all sitting around in the garage discussing the turns of events. I mentioned in light of how things played out, it wouldn't be a bad idea if we didn't all get familiar with weapons and be able to hunt for our own food if ever the need arose. It was a half formed thought spoken aloud in conversation. It IS a good idea, but there are safety courses one must attend and procedures to follow.

So, yesterday, I was kicked back on the couch relaxing and my 19 yr old comes in from shopping for jeans. He's got the bag with the jeans in it in one hand and over his shoulder is a box. In the box is a SHOTGUN.

I was like...WTF?????? You bought a SHOTGUN? He said.."I used my birthday money."...I said.."I don't care WHAT money you used...you bought a SHOTGUN?"

THEN, he hit me with..."Well, I've been thinking about it since you mentioned it in the garage that day and it IS a good idea. I'm going to go hunting."

Wha-a-a? Well, shit. Damn it. Don't they know they're supposed to get permission to do anything I said to do?

Ok, so I had to admit he had me there. So, when my husband gets home, we're discussing it...and my husband makes the approach and the answer HE receives? "Dad, I mentioned it several times when we were all sitting out here, is it MY fault you weren't listening to me? Every time I came back from the store, I said I thought about it. I bought it today because it was the last day of the sale."

Sigh. Now it was my husband's turn to do the mouth opening and closing ..looking like a fish...look.

Moral of the story? Be careful what you wish for. When I got out of the Navy, I prayed that my next job would be as fulfilling and challenging. Boy, did I ever get my wish.

What is God's Wife's Name?

This is the logic of my 7 yr old.

We were talking yesterday morning and he said, "Mom, we don't really know who the first people were do we?"

I said, "Adam and Eve, right?" and he replied with "Well, who were THEIR parents, then?" and I replied, "Well, God made them." and he looked at me and said, "Well, if God had kids, then he had to have a wife. What is God's wife's name?"

It's funny how kids notice stuff like that. And, you know, sometimes I think on those matters, they just may know more than us. His logic does have a bit of a ringing truth to it doesn't it? If we are made in the image of God, then why does it take two to reproduce? Does this mean that God is male and female or does it mean there are two and the name God, like parents, represents them both? It does give one pause to stop and wonder sometimes.

Wow!

I found this today over at Augsburg.

Made me wish I could read German, but thanks to modern technology, I was able to translate...


Quote of the Day
Restroomrevelations liefert das Zitat für den heutigen Tag.

It's bad when a bunch of guys are together and only one of them is getting laid.

Hättet Ihr gedacht, der Satz kommt von einer Frau? Und was für einer! Kelly, Mutter von sechs Kindern.

Translation..sort of, but you'll get the drift...

Restroomrevelations supplies the quotation for the today's day. It's bath when A bunch OF guys acres of together and only one OF them is getting laid. You would have thought, the sentence comes from a woman? And which for one! Kelly, nut/mother of six children.

I dunno...that's kind of cool!

An Obituary

A very dear friend of mine from the Navy, my Sea Momma, sent this to me...enjoy!


Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense.

Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how
old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic
red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such value
lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird
gets the worm and that life isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies
(don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies
(adults, not kids, are in charge).

His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place - reports of a six-year-old
boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens
suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher
fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get
parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could not
inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to
have an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments
became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received
better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize
that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap,
sued, and was awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust;
his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son,
Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

The Talladega Experience

Whoa, has it been a week already? Damn, time sure flies when you're working your ass off!!! This is probably going to be a couple of parts long..hehe

Roughing it has a new definition....like being grateful there's woods to pee in.

All the acreage around the race track is owned by the racetrack and designated as free camping. It used to be an old pecan grove and soy bean fields, from what I understand. The racetrack provides plenty of trash barrels and port-a-potties at certain intervals. The rest you bring yourself.

Sit back for a minute and picture packing for a trip where you have to provide enough food, water, and sleeping arrangements, plus entertainment for 7 people for 4 days. As a bonus, though, this drill has made me extremely prepared for any kind of natural disaster as I have that down to some precision, let me tell you. There's two supplies that make it so much simpler. My Buck knife (my boys envy me that knife..ha!ha!) and my 16 inch cast iron skillet. One skillet cooking over the fire...I like things simple.

We had four 8-men tents, 7 sleeping bags, a 30 foot gazebo, 40 gallons of water, pillows, beer, cooking crap. We had enough stuff that it filled both vehicles to the top..the station wagon and the Blazer. We got the stuff loaded while being asked approximately once every 5 min. "Are we ready yet, are we ready yet, are we ready yet?" "Can we get in the car yet, can we get in the car yet??"..you get the picture. Finally, we're on our way. With all that, we were really only an hour off of our departure time, and that's fantastic, let me tell ya.

My oldest son gave me 6 different phone numbers to reach him by. Which is wierd, considering that he had planned the whole time to have a party here. That was the last party. He doesn't know it yet, but he just put the straw on the camel's back. He had an opportunity to do things differently, but that's a whole other story. That one is still unfolding...sigh. I am told it will be resolved by this weekend.

Finally we hit the road, and deal with the typical Atlanta traffic. It doesn't matter what time of day or night it is, driving through Atlanta is an experience by itself. About halfway there, we start remembering the things we forgot...like lantern mantles. Sigh. Thank God for the Wal-Mart in Anniston.

So, we get there, unpack and set up camp by lanternlight...done by midnight. We crack the first beer and sing a loud and rowdy Happy Birthday to the birthday boy.

Friday morning dawns bright and early and the little ones can hardly contain themselves. We celebrated my daughter's birthday..and she had waited patiently for 4 days. She was thrilled to death with her little cd player. She's not too big on peeing in the woods though. She gave me one of those looks like I was nuts and every time she had to go back there, she would shoot me THE look. But, she wasn't too keen on the outhouses, either. All the rest of it, she was cool with, though.

After lunch the boys went out into the area across from the tent and played football. If that didn't look funny...3 of them being 5'7" and taller and then little dude. He's a tough kid, though, let me tell ya. Then some other kids came over and the big boys had a grudge match. Those boys were professionals and kicked my guys' butts. My 15 yr old did the best, but he plays with a kid across the street who's like 15th in the state or something (I didn't know that..) My guys were treating it like it was a scrap or something. They did good with that part...that's good to know, but football players, they are not.

Usually it's wall to wall people in the campground, but this year it wasn't. We figure gas prices and everything else had a lot to do with it. Friday night rolled around and we coached the older kids on how to handle the rookie. The 19 yr old hooked him up with some beads and showed him the lay of the land, if you will, and sent him on his way. He came back about 45 minutes later with half his beads gone and big 'ol shit eating grin on his face. That was priceless, let me tell you. We saw a car that had on it "Rita refugess are 'Dega bound"...Now those are some serious race fans! The atmosphere of the campground this year was almost obligatory....kind of like watching the race after Dale Sr. died. People's hearts just werent in it. The Saturday night party was pretty much non-existant and people were kind of subdued and stuck close to their campsites.

Saturday, we hit tent city and shopped til we dropped. The little ones got a souvenier, and the birthday girl got to spend some of her birthday money (pink floppy hat). The 17 and 15 yr old went to the ARCA race. I don't follow it every race but I am familiar enough with it that I picked the winner. I really ought to get into a pool. But it's not hard when the pole sitter qualifies 2 miles an hour faster than the rest of the field. They went with the folks that were camping on the left side of us. It totally blew them away that the boys stayed with them and visited. They fully expected my guys to ditch them. They were THRILLED that the boys seemed to enjoy their company so much.

After we all got back to camp, our friends showed up. One was a Navy buddy of my husband's who is single, (we'll call him single dude) and the other was a buddy of his that's married (we'll call him married dude). Those two are a hoot.

We tucked the little ones in and commenced to visiting and drinking. Single dude is funny as shit. He loves everybody and is just now starting to see connections in the universe. He was all worried that we didn't like married dude. My husband and married dude got along very well.

There was some wierd guy chemistry going on. Married dude is not happily married, see...and my husband is proud of me. Married dude is also very suspicious. He doesn't believe that things are as they seem between my husband and I. We get that a lot, though. Anyway, married dude started some shit between my husband and I ...I do believe for the express purpose of seeing how we would work it out. And there was a little payback going on from last year for something. I'm a little vague on all that because I just ignore their little guy games. It's the whole struggle for the alpha male position. It's bad when a bunch of guys are together and only one of them is getting laid.

Sunday came and I was wiped out. I was so tired I couldn't even go to the race. That and I didn't feel like my little people were going to be so good for their brothers. They're great kids for me and my husband but they are litte shits for their brothers. So, I sent the men off to the race and stayed back with the little ones and cleaned up camp a little. Dishes needed to be washed, supper had to be cooked and things had to be organized for the older boys to leave after the race and get back to work and school.

Sunday night was hanging out with the people on the other side of us camping. Single dude found a single lady and my husband cheered him on while he crawled into the tent. Married dude got REAL depressed then and we sat with him and got some of the sordid story. He appears to be a kind of complex guy and I felt like I was under some kind of microscope the whole time. They almost fainted when I let the 17 yr old have my ticket Sunday morning. I got, "You're a helluva woman, Kelly." ...like I passed some kind of test. My husband tells me that I just don't get how unique I am...and that's wierd too ..because I don't feel unique.

My daughter and I listened to the last 48 laps on the radio and that was really wierd because we could HEAR the cars and so it was like stereo. And it was exciting as hell, too. We thought for sure Tony Stewart had it ...and a suprise finish by Dale Jarrett! Now, that's some racing!!!! When it finishes like that...3 wide...it really ceases to matter who your driver is. Whoever wins it like that...deserves it!!!

Anyway, so Monday morning, we casually packed up and got invited to the Brickyard next year!! Woo Hoo!!

I gotta say, that's the last time I'm taking little kids to a deal like that. It was cool, but I got like 4-5 hours of sleep all weekend trying to burn the candle at both ends. They have a few more years to go before I can be comfortable with them being there. Though the atmosphere is fairly friendly during the daytime, nighttimes are frought with tension. Things can go from happy to brawling in the space of a nanosecond. The campers next to us had just a little drama that was settled pretty quick. There was some scuffling going on and then this big woman came out and picked this guy up by his collar and HURLED him out into the street....and I mean she threw him. He picked himself up, dusted himself off, got in his car, and left. And, that was the end of that.

All in all, it was a super weekend and we're on for next year again.

Back From The Races

Still recovering and cleaning up. It was a blast...more later!