I'm 'Dega bound tomorrow..hallelujah! I see from the news that a coupla idiots managed to electrocute themselves. Sigh. It's a damn cruel world, isn't it? How about that tribute care, though? Earnhardt, Back in Black...HELL YEAH! Eat your heart out Redneck!!!
I'm actually not seeing how it's changed much since the days of the wild, wild, west. It was a harsh environment then, and it's a harsh one now..just in different ways. I hope this doesn't kill the camping or anything. That would really suck.
In other news, the kid from next door was fine. She didn't eat any breakfast, nor drink anything before she got to school and promptly ran a mile and a half. That could get me on a whole other rant, but I'm too tired today.
I haven't slept well the last couple of nights and I hate it when that happens. It's like there is something inside me that cannot completely relax. I have to actually work at it. So that leaves my days with me just exhausted, except for my brain, which runs around in circles like a hampster on a wheel..going nowhere.
So, my mission today is to try and catch a nap while I can, clear my head and then start running. I have to do shopping and planning and all that happy stuff. My son is bringing a date..and I use the term date loosely. Remember the gal who left her shit all over the house that he kept having spend the night? Yeah. Her. The ho. Lovely. And me going to be drinking all weekend. No telling how that's going to turn out because I'm kind of tired of holding my tongue and if she's half the woman she pretends to be, then she'll be able to handle it. Just what I wanted on my weekend off, to have to have an alpha female struggle. I told him to park their damn tent far away from our cuz I didn't want his squeaking damn air mattress to interfere with my own sex life. I love it when I make them blush like that!!!
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Damn, Damn, Damn, Damn
Damn, damn, damn. And dammit some more. I was sitting here, just trying to write one email and God was trying to get my attention, apparently.
Anyway, the final interruption was my son calling me from school asking me to go next door and tell those people that their daughter was ill. He was all in a big panic, like he does, and the principal got on the phone and explained that the girl had passed out on the track and was enroute to the hospital and they needed to get there PDQ and the school could not reach them.
So, me and my handy little note truck on over to the next door neighbor's house and ring the doorbell. No answer. Damn.
So, I keep checking every 5 min. or so and I looked and there's a little old lady out there sweeping the walk. I KNOW she was there when I rang the doorbell, but whatever, right? So, I run my ass on over there, and tell her what's going on and I get a blank look and No speak ingles. Damn, damn, damn. So, what's a gal to do. This is an urgent situation.
There is such a thing as a universal language, people. A mother's tear is one of those. All I could do is say the kid's name, say 'sick'..'hospital' and let the tears loose. And give a hug. She got the message and the urgency of the situation. I hope it's not all that, but I really think it is. These people are going to be on my mind all day. Damn, damn, damn.
So, for any of you people reading this, please say a prayer for this little girl.
Anyway, the final interruption was my son calling me from school asking me to go next door and tell those people that their daughter was ill. He was all in a big panic, like he does, and the principal got on the phone and explained that the girl had passed out on the track and was enroute to the hospital and they needed to get there PDQ and the school could not reach them.
So, me and my handy little note truck on over to the next door neighbor's house and ring the doorbell. No answer. Damn.
So, I keep checking every 5 min. or so and I looked and there's a little old lady out there sweeping the walk. I KNOW she was there when I rang the doorbell, but whatever, right? So, I run my ass on over there, and tell her what's going on and I get a blank look and No speak ingles. Damn, damn, damn. So, what's a gal to do. This is an urgent situation.
There is such a thing as a universal language, people. A mother's tear is one of those. All I could do is say the kid's name, say 'sick'..'hospital' and let the tears loose. And give a hug. She got the message and the urgency of the situation. I hope it's not all that, but I really think it is. These people are going to be on my mind all day. Damn, damn, damn.
So, for any of you people reading this, please say a prayer for this little girl.
Life
Ya know, sometimes life can suck and be the most wonderful experience you've ever had...all at the same time.
This job situation sucks right now, but resumes are flyin' so that's a short term thing. These godawful hours that people think they have to work..jeez. Is there anybody who understands the value of working efficiently? Would you rather pay 3 quality people a higher wage to get the job done RIGHT or would you rather pay 10 people less money to get the job done half assed? It's not rocket science, people. You get what you pay for. You hire cheap labor, you're gonna get cheap labor.
On to other things, I am in a bit of a celebratory mood. My oldest son came home last night with other plans...which he was all tensed up talking to us about. However, unlike his usual half-baked plans, this one was a good one. He plans to get a motorcycle for his commute to work to save himself from gas and he also had a whole shitload of college brochures in his hand. He has all the info to apply for loans and grants and stuff and said he wants to major in forestry with a minor is psychology. Can y'all hear the angels singing? This is the first time he's ever mentioned college and he's always been into the forestry stuff..and he's real damn good with people, too...so I like his plan and I said so...and he puffed up and was so damn happy. It's funny that they get that nervous wanting to hear just those words from us...but hey, it's gotta be a good plan for me to say it's a good plan.
Now, if only he wasn't bringing the 'ho along to Talladega this weekend.
This job situation sucks right now, but resumes are flyin' so that's a short term thing. These godawful hours that people think they have to work..jeez. Is there anybody who understands the value of working efficiently? Would you rather pay 3 quality people a higher wage to get the job done RIGHT or would you rather pay 10 people less money to get the job done half assed? It's not rocket science, people. You get what you pay for. You hire cheap labor, you're gonna get cheap labor.
On to other things, I am in a bit of a celebratory mood. My oldest son came home last night with other plans...which he was all tensed up talking to us about. However, unlike his usual half-baked plans, this one was a good one. He plans to get a motorcycle for his commute to work to save himself from gas and he also had a whole shitload of college brochures in his hand. He has all the info to apply for loans and grants and stuff and said he wants to major in forestry with a minor is psychology. Can y'all hear the angels singing? This is the first time he's ever mentioned college and he's always been into the forestry stuff..and he's real damn good with people, too...so I like his plan and I said so...and he puffed up and was so damn happy. It's funny that they get that nervous wanting to hear just those words from us...but hey, it's gotta be a good plan for me to say it's a good plan.
Now, if only he wasn't bringing the 'ho along to Talladega this weekend.
Monday, April 24, 2006
Power ...A Funny Energy, Isn't It?
Power, not electrical power, but HUMAN power. Hard to quantify, is it not. Hard to define but we DO recognize it when we see it. Sometimes the problems with people stem from the fact that they don't realize they have the same power as everyone else.
True story: The last time my husband and I went to a bar together we had an experience. We always have experiences but this one illustrates my point.
So, we're in the bar, it's karaoke night, yippee, and we were playing pool. We were double dating with a friend of ours, which sounds wierd, because he was like old enough to be my dad, but anyway, that's what it was. A higher class lady he was meeting, too. So nervous he cut himself shaving.
So, we get there early, secure a pool table and commence to playing pool. Pretty soon, a crew from the local racetrack came rolling in, a Porche pit crew, if I remember correctly. The blood alcohol was just about right that night, so the memory may be a little skewed.
It wasn't too long before we had company at the pool table. My husband just stepped back to watch and I just kept winning. No money or anything, just plain assed fun. Now, I do not consider myself a good pool player by any means. Every single one of those guys beat themselves, in my opinion, I just waited for 'em to do it. One guy actually crawled off in the corner saying.."I can't believe I was beat by a little girl." He later invited my husband and I to join the league. That was cool as hell, wish I had time.
There was an old guy who was there with his wife, who was doing karaoke who was giving me tips all night long. I'd go to take a shot and he'd say, damn it woman, shoot that other ball, you're smarter than that. I just took the shots he said, then one of the Porsche crew from New York or somewhere lost a couple of games to me and so sat in that chair and started giving me help, too. Well, as always in situations like that there is always one asshole.
This asshole was about 6ft2 I want to say..everybody looks big to me being so damn short..but I have some varying sizes to go by and I had to crane my neck about to that level..LOL. He just kept trying to cheat and be a big bully and he was one of those guys that thinks he is God's gift to women and that women should be falling all over him and at his feet and whatnot. He kept saying I looked like his ex-girlfriend..and my husband stepped in just one time with his cheating and explained the rules loud and clear and I won that game too. That shut him up for a little while..he went off to the bar area bitching. It wasn't long before he was back, and he managed to get me into their turf a little bit. He was overconfident and thought that his boys were going to back him up. And they would have if it had been an altercation with my husband. But, they don't know that me and my old man can have an entire conversation without speaking a word.
So, I got the guy from New York right behind me when the asshole gets right into my personal space and asks me if I shave my pussy. Whoa. I was pretty tolerant of the guy until then. I balled up my fist and cocked it back and said "Now, you have crossed the fucking line." I still had my pool stick and I didn't know what I was gonna do next, really. The guy from New York caught my hand in a loose grip...and could immediately tell that I was pretty relaxed and in control of the situation so he just sat there...the whole room was silent. You could hear a pin drop and at that moment in time it occured to me that I HAD ALL THE POWER. The next set of events..the direction they took, and ultimately their outcome, was resting in my hands alone, totally dependent upon the next action. And I knew that if I caused a fight, it was gonna be real ugly. Real ugly. There was one other guy in there whose eyes were just wrong, the thrived on situations like that, although he probably was never an instigator..but there was just something wrong with his eyes.
I looked that asshole square in the eye and I said, Well, there is a reason that this girl is your ex-girlfriend, and I'm sorry that it happened, but you can't talk to me like that. Maybe you need to think about why she has ex attached to the front of her name while I go hit the little girl's room because I gotta pee. And I ducked right under his arm and was outta there before anybody knew what happened.
They all looked at my husband when I left and he made his statement to whomever he had identified as the leader of the group..told them to take care of their teammate...that they weren't being very good friends letting him get himself in a situation like that...and it's never welcome when strangers come around and disrespect their women.
I came out of the bathroom, and that was that and we left.
We ALL have the power to change the outcome.
True story: The last time my husband and I went to a bar together we had an experience. We always have experiences but this one illustrates my point.
So, we're in the bar, it's karaoke night, yippee, and we were playing pool. We were double dating with a friend of ours, which sounds wierd, because he was like old enough to be my dad, but anyway, that's what it was. A higher class lady he was meeting, too. So nervous he cut himself shaving.
So, we get there early, secure a pool table and commence to playing pool. Pretty soon, a crew from the local racetrack came rolling in, a Porche pit crew, if I remember correctly. The blood alcohol was just about right that night, so the memory may be a little skewed.
It wasn't too long before we had company at the pool table. My husband just stepped back to watch and I just kept winning. No money or anything, just plain assed fun. Now, I do not consider myself a good pool player by any means. Every single one of those guys beat themselves, in my opinion, I just waited for 'em to do it. One guy actually crawled off in the corner saying.."I can't believe I was beat by a little girl." He later invited my husband and I to join the league. That was cool as hell, wish I had time.
There was an old guy who was there with his wife, who was doing karaoke who was giving me tips all night long. I'd go to take a shot and he'd say, damn it woman, shoot that other ball, you're smarter than that. I just took the shots he said, then one of the Porsche crew from New York or somewhere lost a couple of games to me and so sat in that chair and started giving me help, too. Well, as always in situations like that there is always one asshole.
This asshole was about 6ft2 I want to say..everybody looks big to me being so damn short..but I have some varying sizes to go by and I had to crane my neck about to that level..LOL. He just kept trying to cheat and be a big bully and he was one of those guys that thinks he is God's gift to women and that women should be falling all over him and at his feet and whatnot. He kept saying I looked like his ex-girlfriend..and my husband stepped in just one time with his cheating and explained the rules loud and clear and I won that game too. That shut him up for a little while..he went off to the bar area bitching. It wasn't long before he was back, and he managed to get me into their turf a little bit. He was overconfident and thought that his boys were going to back him up. And they would have if it had been an altercation with my husband. But, they don't know that me and my old man can have an entire conversation without speaking a word.
So, I got the guy from New York right behind me when the asshole gets right into my personal space and asks me if I shave my pussy. Whoa. I was pretty tolerant of the guy until then. I balled up my fist and cocked it back and said "Now, you have crossed the fucking line." I still had my pool stick and I didn't know what I was gonna do next, really. The guy from New York caught my hand in a loose grip...and could immediately tell that I was pretty relaxed and in control of the situation so he just sat there...the whole room was silent. You could hear a pin drop and at that moment in time it occured to me that I HAD ALL THE POWER. The next set of events..the direction they took, and ultimately their outcome, was resting in my hands alone, totally dependent upon the next action. And I knew that if I caused a fight, it was gonna be real ugly. Real ugly. There was one other guy in there whose eyes were just wrong, the thrived on situations like that, although he probably was never an instigator..but there was just something wrong with his eyes.
I looked that asshole square in the eye and I said, Well, there is a reason that this girl is your ex-girlfriend, and I'm sorry that it happened, but you can't talk to me like that. Maybe you need to think about why she has ex attached to the front of her name while I go hit the little girl's room because I gotta pee. And I ducked right under his arm and was outta there before anybody knew what happened.
They all looked at my husband when I left and he made his statement to whomever he had identified as the leader of the group..told them to take care of their teammate...that they weren't being very good friends letting him get himself in a situation like that...and it's never welcome when strangers come around and disrespect their women.
I came out of the bathroom, and that was that and we left.
We ALL have the power to change the outcome.
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Blogiversary
It would appear that I'm having one real quick. Wow, who would have thought a year would have gone by so damn fast. Guess I'll have to put up a summary post, eh? Where the hell does time go anyway? Anyway...thoughts on blogiversaries???
Divided Attention
It's spring for me too...and I am having hard time concentrating on anything longer than about 3 minutes. All I want to do is be outside, but the pollen is driving me nuts.
I've got all kinds of crap on my mind..world stuff, family stuff, friend stuff, internet stuff, chore stuff, and the list goes on. I've got something hot I've been working on though, so fret not, some real content is coming soon.
I was too damn tired to stay up and watch the race again last night and now I'm totally pissed off because that is 2 weeks in a row that I did not get to see Kevin Harvick win.
All I can say is there is some big life changes coming real soon. It'd be good to have a life.
I've got all kinds of crap on my mind..world stuff, family stuff, friend stuff, internet stuff, chore stuff, and the list goes on. I've got something hot I've been working on though, so fret not, some real content is coming soon.
I was too damn tired to stay up and watch the race again last night and now I'm totally pissed off because that is 2 weeks in a row that I did not get to see Kevin Harvick win.
All I can say is there is some big life changes coming real soon. It'd be good to have a life.
Friday, April 21, 2006
Another Graduate!
So, I have a new upcoming graduate..hooray! Third one down, three more to go. This is going to be the one who moves out first, I think. The oldest is still..drifting, the next one is in college and has a solid plan, and now this one has been my 'hard' child.
He was one angry child, boy howdy. He has evolved into a wonderful young man, though and I'm really proud of him. He's come a very long way since the angry 7 year old that used to scream that he hated me and all I was doing was taking his mommy's place.
And, I have to say, my kids have more family obligations than any other kids I know. They have to satisfy us, the parents, of course, and then there are the Texas relatives, my husbands folks and the folks in Alabama, the ex's folks and their mother. They handle all this emotional pressure like champs, they really do.
Now that he's officially an adult, he has to make a decision. He doesn't have a job and that pretty much has to do with the visitation agreement that is now no longer in effect. Hallelujah!!! Let me tell you, these kids have been held back because she would not give up or sacrifice one thing for THEM. It's always been all about her. The kid is 18 years old and has not been able to get a job because he was court ordered to visit with someone who could not grasp what him not having a job all this time has done for his ability to progress in life and make a plan.
As well, now he doesn't want to get a job until after we go to Texas and he gets to visit with his grandparents. He was a little upset that he didn't get to go during spring break, he had to go to Alabama instead.
His grandfather is not in a real good way right now. The funny thing is, is that all it would take would be the presence of another male, and one that was strong enough to help mom when things happen, because they happen every day around there, to bring Dad around. You hear about senior depression, but until you witness it, it's hard to know what to do about it. Having a younger person around can really revitalize a person, I think.
So, it seems that the situation is leaning towards him just staying in Texas when we go back for a visit. I have to bounce it off of a couple of people...oh,.. like the grandparents to see what they would think of something like that. He would be able to have a job there and go to college..and be close to family. My mother in law knows everybody in 3 counties, I swear.
It seems to me like the perfect solution to their problem and his. He's all for it. He has absolutely no ties to this area, except for us. He has no friends or girlfriends that he's all THAT attached to.
I guess we'll see how this one plays out.
He was one angry child, boy howdy. He has evolved into a wonderful young man, though and I'm really proud of him. He's come a very long way since the angry 7 year old that used to scream that he hated me and all I was doing was taking his mommy's place.
And, I have to say, my kids have more family obligations than any other kids I know. They have to satisfy us, the parents, of course, and then there are the Texas relatives, my husbands folks and the folks in Alabama, the ex's folks and their mother. They handle all this emotional pressure like champs, they really do.
Now that he's officially an adult, he has to make a decision. He doesn't have a job and that pretty much has to do with the visitation agreement that is now no longer in effect. Hallelujah!!! Let me tell you, these kids have been held back because she would not give up or sacrifice one thing for THEM. It's always been all about her. The kid is 18 years old and has not been able to get a job because he was court ordered to visit with someone who could not grasp what him not having a job all this time has done for his ability to progress in life and make a plan.
As well, now he doesn't want to get a job until after we go to Texas and he gets to visit with his grandparents. He was a little upset that he didn't get to go during spring break, he had to go to Alabama instead.
His grandfather is not in a real good way right now. The funny thing is, is that all it would take would be the presence of another male, and one that was strong enough to help mom when things happen, because they happen every day around there, to bring Dad around. You hear about senior depression, but until you witness it, it's hard to know what to do about it. Having a younger person around can really revitalize a person, I think.
So, it seems that the situation is leaning towards him just staying in Texas when we go back for a visit. I have to bounce it off of a couple of people...oh,.. like the grandparents to see what they would think of something like that. He would be able to have a job there and go to college..and be close to family. My mother in law knows everybody in 3 counties, I swear.
It seems to me like the perfect solution to their problem and his. He's all for it. He has absolutely no ties to this area, except for us. He has no friends or girlfriends that he's all THAT attached to.
I guess we'll see how this one plays out.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Boats and Things
A little while back, Yabu, wrote a post about fishing. Go read it first.
Back? Good. This struck me as so damn funny because it's so damn true. One of the biggest pieces of baggage that I have not been able to get rid of from the old marriage is the boat. I guess SHE decided they needed to have a boat and so he thought..cool..one more way to get away from her..whatever..they wound up with a boat.
So, on one of the visits to Texas we towed the boat home with us. We didn't have it in Va...no lake to drive it on and most of the time he was in Va. was spent having operations and recovering from them. It made no sense for him to have a boat at that time. So, it was stored at his folks house, where it could be stored properly. His sisters even made curtians for it. It's a cool boat, really.
So, the last couple of months of my pregnancy with little dude were pretty stressful. I had preeclampsia and they were worried about him and all of that. My husband was working full time, but he was allowed to work out of the house since I was bed-ridden...well, couch-ridden. The kids were a help, but they worried, too...right? Anyway, so a couple of days after little dude was born, my husband and oldest son decided to take the boat out and cruise around the lake.
To hear their story, it was almost like Yabu's. They called me at like 10pm and my husband said.."We JUST got it in the water, can we spend the night on it?" and he sounded so damn pitiful that even though my hormones were raging, I couldn't help but take pity on him and just laughed and said..fine. It's not like they weren't 3 miles away, right?
So, I got up early in the morning and toted a carafe full of coffe and some tuna sandwiches over to them and they damn near kissed my feet. I guess my oldest son is such a worry-wort, there was not much sleeping to be had because of him getting up every couple of hours to stomp around the boat and check all the ties. He was worried that they were going to float away or something.
So, my husband spent the next couple of hours tweaking the engine, and I made up a picnic lunch and we spent the day out on the lake. It didn't go back in too many times before we cracked the water manifold...and we don't have a hoist big enough to pull the engine in order to fix it. Kind of sucks.
Backyard badminton...we decided on horseshoes!
Back? Good. This struck me as so damn funny because it's so damn true. One of the biggest pieces of baggage that I have not been able to get rid of from the old marriage is the boat. I guess SHE decided they needed to have a boat and so he thought..cool..one more way to get away from her..whatever..they wound up with a boat.
So, on one of the visits to Texas we towed the boat home with us. We didn't have it in Va...no lake to drive it on and most of the time he was in Va. was spent having operations and recovering from them. It made no sense for him to have a boat at that time. So, it was stored at his folks house, where it could be stored properly. His sisters even made curtians for it. It's a cool boat, really.
So, the last couple of months of my pregnancy with little dude were pretty stressful. I had preeclampsia and they were worried about him and all of that. My husband was working full time, but he was allowed to work out of the house since I was bed-ridden...well, couch-ridden. The kids were a help, but they worried, too...right? Anyway, so a couple of days after little dude was born, my husband and oldest son decided to take the boat out and cruise around the lake.
To hear their story, it was almost like Yabu's. They called me at like 10pm and my husband said.."We JUST got it in the water, can we spend the night on it?" and he sounded so damn pitiful that even though my hormones were raging, I couldn't help but take pity on him and just laughed and said..fine. It's not like they weren't 3 miles away, right?
So, I got up early in the morning and toted a carafe full of coffe and some tuna sandwiches over to them and they damn near kissed my feet. I guess my oldest son is such a worry-wort, there was not much sleeping to be had because of him getting up every couple of hours to stomp around the boat and check all the ties. He was worried that they were going to float away or something.
So, my husband spent the next couple of hours tweaking the engine, and I made up a picnic lunch and we spent the day out on the lake. It didn't go back in too many times before we cracked the water manifold...and we don't have a hoist big enough to pull the engine in order to fix it. Kind of sucks.
Backyard badminton...we decided on horseshoes!
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Beer Test
| Guinness (66% dark & bitter, 66% working class, 66% genuine) |
 Okay, we all know Guinness is the best possible score on any "What Kind Of Beer Are You" test, so you can just go on and pat yourself on the back now. Like the world's most famous brew, you're genuine, you've got good taste, and you're sophisticated. What else can I say, except congratulations? If your friends didn't score the same way, get ready for them to say: Guinness is too heavy; it's an acquired taste; it's too serious--and they probably think those things about you at times. But just brush 'em off. Everybody knows Guinness is the best. Cheers. |
My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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| Link: The If You Were A Beer Test written by gwendolynbooks on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test |
Stolen from Dash
No, I Haven't Lost My Mind
I never really had it to begin with..(evil laugh). No, seriously, don't let my previous post freak you out or anything.
See, there are certain things that I do know. I do know all of this took place..in my own mind. That's what a vision quest is about...having a vision, and then analyzing it. Everything that was represented, even what I reported seeing physically...is metaphorical. It is the way of the brain to try and grasp concepts...it creates a visual image. Only be replaying the visual can we begin to understand the message.
The message itself comes from within, as well. God is IN all of us, we were made in his image. So the answers to solutions come from within, as well. It's just how the information is presented that can sometimes change the level of understanding.
It's technically, a very advanced daydream..or even a hallucination if you want to put that kind of term on it. Hallucination brings to mind drugs, though, and that is an inaccurate representation of my experience. I was hungry, having not eaten all day, and very tired, having put in a 20 hour day and my hormones are in a state of flux...so if the emails are buzzing and the worries are creeping...don't. I am in full command of my faculties.
See, there are certain things that I do know. I do know all of this took place..in my own mind. That's what a vision quest is about...having a vision, and then analyzing it. Everything that was represented, even what I reported seeing physically...is metaphorical. It is the way of the brain to try and grasp concepts...it creates a visual image. Only be replaying the visual can we begin to understand the message.
The message itself comes from within, as well. God is IN all of us, we were made in his image. So the answers to solutions come from within, as well. It's just how the information is presented that can sometimes change the level of understanding.
It's technically, a very advanced daydream..or even a hallucination if you want to put that kind of term on it. Hallucination brings to mind drugs, though, and that is an inaccurate representation of my experience. I was hungry, having not eaten all day, and very tired, having put in a 20 hour day and my hormones are in a state of flux...so if the emails are buzzing and the worries are creeping...don't. I am in full command of my faculties.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Call Me Crazy If You Want
I think it's obvious to most people that I'm on a spirit quest and that I am driven by the spiritual.
I haven't participated in organized religion too much but I have had a lot of spiritual teaching.
Now, I believe everyone has access to God and Jesus personally. If you don't believe my account, then find the path to them yourself and ask them yourself. I'm serious.
Now, the following is an account of a meditative experience I've had recently.
Ok, first of all, I cannot remember in which order anything occured. It happened so damn fast ...but I got up this morning and wrote down everything I could remember.
I have always meditated with sensory deprivation. In other words, I put ear plugs in and make sure I'm in a blackened room. Having less distraction makes it easier to concentrate. And, with migraines, noise and light are bad, bad...which is how I originally learned to meditate..from my dad to manage the migraine pain.
I saw Jesus for a time. I was meditating on quitting smoking, right? This was my big question, my big favor....please take the desire away. The answer....No. We were standing at the base of the tree...I have to scale this tree, but it's a metaphorical tree...in visual form. I am having difficulty finding the words. No, I didn't see him see him..that's hard to describe too. In my peripheral vision, I had a sense that there was form, but if I tried to look, he would move beyond my vision or glow brighter so that I couldn't look.
Ok, so I'm talking to him about the smoking thing and he told me he would not take the desire away ..that number one, I had it in me to beat it, and number 2, the desire..is my penance...I have to want to live enough to fight through the addiction and when he's sufficiently convinced that I love life enough to do this, then and only then will he remove the desire for cigarettes. And, the reward is great. He said that there is still time, but very, very, little for me to heal the disease that is already in my lungs. Heal it completely. And that wasn't even the greatest reward to be offered. I don't yet know what it would be. It was just a general feeling that if I chose this path, it would yield the highest rewards.
Then, we were walking around the base of the tree..and he was explaining to me that my direction is going to be determined by this one decision, right now. I have to scale the damn tree and it's going to make it a lot easier if I'm purer. It's about how pure my body is. It wasn't a lung consideration in that place...it was that the lessons I am going to learn from quitting smoking are going to give me the tools I need the soonest in order to scale that tree and that time is really of the essence...not a commodity to be wasted.
He was flattered that I have shown an interest in Judaism ...but said I knew what I needed to know, to not let myself get bogged down by all that stuff, that I was doing just fine in my methods of contacting him. He laughed, really.
There were ...others, as well. I didn't see..but I just knew they were there...part of an entourage, some...and just a sense that there were others.
Then I went on a journey. I don't know where I went, but I saw things I have never seen before and I was so surprised that I didn't realize that I was travelling at first. If that makes sense? I felt so at peace during this experience, that it didn't take long to catch up. This is where I was told...but by one of the others that I couldn't see..that I just needed to look and when I saw these things again I would recognize them and understand what I saw..my purpose was just to remember. It was nothing horrific...I thought to myself at one point that perhaps I was in a wormhole..there was a LOT of travelling.
One part I remember was a chameleon guy. I don't know how else to describe it...he just beckoned and I was supposed to follow him..and we were walking through brush and woods..to a city and I was stuck there for a minute...thinking..OMG is that guy invisible? Well not exactly...he shimmered, sort of...anyway, he never said anything but would turn every so often..and I followed him on up the path. There was a city..with regular people..and I remember feeling relieved that there was purpose in heaven..then I remember thinking ..this can't be heaven because these people are ..well, people...and the presense next to me chuckled and said that I was right, it wasn't heaven..good observation..but didn't elaborate on where. I was admonished again and again to just observe and quit thinking.
Then there was a tunnel..an adobe like substance..again the admonishment...that was cracked off in places...and raised in some places. I was not allowed to look very long at the raised places....with grates and water running out of the grates. This is where I was told to pay attention and understand that I would understand what I was seeing when it was time..that I would readily recognize it...whatever it even was....some tunnels of lights and these lighting ball globes....and that is all I remember.
And the final thing....
I asked him about the 666 thing that some I know posted about. She claims that June 6, 2006 is Armageddon. He got angry with me. He said that was a conversation between he and she and that I need to pay attention...but I need to do what HE says. Pretty much that it was none of my business right now...that I had my own purpose to fulfill and that isn't going to interfere with that...but would neither confirm nor deny the information. It was not for me to know...was the message.
So, there you have it...make of it what you will.
I haven't participated in organized religion too much but I have had a lot of spiritual teaching.
Now, I believe everyone has access to God and Jesus personally. If you don't believe my account, then find the path to them yourself and ask them yourself. I'm serious.
Now, the following is an account of a meditative experience I've had recently.
Ok, first of all, I cannot remember in which order anything occured. It happened so damn fast ...but I got up this morning and wrote down everything I could remember.
I have always meditated with sensory deprivation. In other words, I put ear plugs in and make sure I'm in a blackened room. Having less distraction makes it easier to concentrate. And, with migraines, noise and light are bad, bad...which is how I originally learned to meditate..from my dad to manage the migraine pain.
I saw Jesus for a time. I was meditating on quitting smoking, right? This was my big question, my big favor....please take the desire away. The answer....No. We were standing at the base of the tree...I have to scale this tree, but it's a metaphorical tree...in visual form. I am having difficulty finding the words. No, I didn't see him see him..that's hard to describe too. In my peripheral vision, I had a sense that there was form, but if I tried to look, he would move beyond my vision or glow brighter so that I couldn't look.
Ok, so I'm talking to him about the smoking thing and he told me he would not take the desire away ..that number one, I had it in me to beat it, and number 2, the desire..is my penance...I have to want to live enough to fight through the addiction and when he's sufficiently convinced that I love life enough to do this, then and only then will he remove the desire for cigarettes. And, the reward is great. He said that there is still time, but very, very, little for me to heal the disease that is already in my lungs. Heal it completely. And that wasn't even the greatest reward to be offered. I don't yet know what it would be. It was just a general feeling that if I chose this path, it would yield the highest rewards.
Then, we were walking around the base of the tree..and he was explaining to me that my direction is going to be determined by this one decision, right now. I have to scale the damn tree and it's going to make it a lot easier if I'm purer. It's about how pure my body is. It wasn't a lung consideration in that place...it was that the lessons I am going to learn from quitting smoking are going to give me the tools I need the soonest in order to scale that tree and that time is really of the essence...not a commodity to be wasted.
He was flattered that I have shown an interest in Judaism ...but said I knew what I needed to know, to not let myself get bogged down by all that stuff, that I was doing just fine in my methods of contacting him. He laughed, really.
There were ...others, as well. I didn't see..but I just knew they were there...part of an entourage, some...and just a sense that there were others.
Then I went on a journey. I don't know where I went, but I saw things I have never seen before and I was so surprised that I didn't realize that I was travelling at first. If that makes sense? I felt so at peace during this experience, that it didn't take long to catch up. This is where I was told...but by one of the others that I couldn't see..that I just needed to look and when I saw these things again I would recognize them and understand what I saw..my purpose was just to remember. It was nothing horrific...I thought to myself at one point that perhaps I was in a wormhole..there was a LOT of travelling.
One part I remember was a chameleon guy. I don't know how else to describe it...he just beckoned and I was supposed to follow him..and we were walking through brush and woods..to a city and I was stuck there for a minute...thinking..OMG is that guy invisible? Well not exactly...he shimmered, sort of...anyway, he never said anything but would turn every so often..and I followed him on up the path. There was a city..with regular people..and I remember feeling relieved that there was purpose in heaven..then I remember thinking ..this can't be heaven because these people are ..well, people...and the presense next to me chuckled and said that I was right, it wasn't heaven..good observation..but didn't elaborate on where. I was admonished again and again to just observe and quit thinking.
Then there was a tunnel..an adobe like substance..again the admonishment...that was cracked off in places...and raised in some places. I was not allowed to look very long at the raised places....with grates and water running out of the grates. This is where I was told to pay attention and understand that I would understand what I was seeing when it was time..that I would readily recognize it...whatever it even was....some tunnels of lights and these lighting ball globes....and that is all I remember.
And the final thing....
I asked him about the 666 thing that some I know posted about. She claims that June 6, 2006 is Armageddon. He got angry with me. He said that was a conversation between he and she and that I need to pay attention...but I need to do what HE says. Pretty much that it was none of my business right now...that I had my own purpose to fulfill and that isn't going to interfere with that...but would neither confirm nor deny the information. It was not for me to know...was the message.
So, there you have it...make of it what you will.
Why in the HELL didn't I do this sooner?
I know, some of y'all told me too, but I just couldn't bear to part with the old keyboard. Well, it finally crapped out about 5 min ago and I plugged this new one in...and all I can wonder is why in the hell I didn't do it sooner. I had NO IDEA how hard I was having to pound those keys in order to make the strokes.
Ah, well, live and learn. Man, typing on this thing is like typing on air. I could probably get a lot more said with a lot less pain. Geez. Just goes to show...what, I'm not sure.
I have been in the middle of several epiphanies lately and likely I'll share something soon. Got the water pump out last night ...it just sat there and dripped all day long. We pulled a long assed day yesterday..from about 2am for hubby and 3:30am for me all the way until 9:30-10pm. We were some tired puppies!
Got chores to do today..but hopefully not too many. This french thing is really bothering me. Does anyone else still have that? All their blogger controls in french? Makes it hard to edit anything if you can't speak french. Just sayin'. Might have to move this place somewhere or something....somewhere that still speaks English, I suppose.
Ah, well, live and learn. Man, typing on this thing is like typing on air. I could probably get a lot more said with a lot less pain. Geez. Just goes to show...what, I'm not sure.
I have been in the middle of several epiphanies lately and likely I'll share something soon. Got the water pump out last night ...it just sat there and dripped all day long. We pulled a long assed day yesterday..from about 2am for hubby and 3:30am for me all the way until 9:30-10pm. We were some tired puppies!
Got chores to do today..but hopefully not too many. This french thing is really bothering me. Does anyone else still have that? All their blogger controls in french? Makes it hard to edit anything if you can't speak french. Just sayin'. Might have to move this place somewhere or something....somewhere that still speaks English, I suppose.
Monday, April 17, 2006
Happy Easter
A day late. Y'all know I'm always a day late with this stuff, right?
I thought I was going to get to spend a little time in spiritual contemplation, it being Easter and all. Real life ALWAYS intrudes on my plans to daydream or contemplate. The car broke and the kid who broke it was acting a little bit like an ass in his obliviousness. I know two sentences sums it up, rather, but it really doesn't. The car issue has been a hot button for awhile and it looks like it's finally going to be resolved. And when I get my new car, nobody is even going to THINK to ask me for the keys to it.
It was an honest mistake..the heater core let loose and when he went to do the by-pass, he forgot to put the radiator cap back on. Then after he drove it 40 miles without a radiator cap, all he did was top it off and put the cap back on. Well, because the cap was off, it didn't get good flow and there was a huge air pocket in it and it ran dry. When it ran dry and overheated, it caused the seal on the water pump to dry out and crack and now it needs a new water pump..too. Yeah, I'm a little torqued that it had to happen like that...but I wouldn't be THIS torqued if he hadn't lied to me about where he was driving it yesterday. He said he was going to church. He didn't get home til almost 7. I don't care if he's driving it with church people or not...it needs to NOT be driven. I'm taking his key back today and he's going to have to get a ride home from school tonight. That's for the little smirk he gave when being called upon his inconsiderate actions. In other words, he's been spoken to about this nicely once already. Didn't get it. His dad is going to talk to him sometime today...and we'll see if he gets it then. I only get to see him for 15 min. or so a day, so if I have to talk to him, then I'm going to be like a really sharp knife. I will say what I have to say and leave no room for argument and when I'm done, it's gonna hurt. But not til I'm done..right? Anyway....it's a typical Monday for me...don't really have anything worthwhile to say today. I have a couple of thoughts running through my head that I'll get to this week sometime.
Until then, hope y'all are having a good Monday..or at least a less worse Monday than usual.
I thought I was going to get to spend a little time in spiritual contemplation, it being Easter and all. Real life ALWAYS intrudes on my plans to daydream or contemplate. The car broke and the kid who broke it was acting a little bit like an ass in his obliviousness. I know two sentences sums it up, rather, but it really doesn't. The car issue has been a hot button for awhile and it looks like it's finally going to be resolved. And when I get my new car, nobody is even going to THINK to ask me for the keys to it.
It was an honest mistake..the heater core let loose and when he went to do the by-pass, he forgot to put the radiator cap back on. Then after he drove it 40 miles without a radiator cap, all he did was top it off and put the cap back on. Well, because the cap was off, it didn't get good flow and there was a huge air pocket in it and it ran dry. When it ran dry and overheated, it caused the seal on the water pump to dry out and crack and now it needs a new water pump..too. Yeah, I'm a little torqued that it had to happen like that...but I wouldn't be THIS torqued if he hadn't lied to me about where he was driving it yesterday. He said he was going to church. He didn't get home til almost 7. I don't care if he's driving it with church people or not...it needs to NOT be driven. I'm taking his key back today and he's going to have to get a ride home from school tonight. That's for the little smirk he gave when being called upon his inconsiderate actions. In other words, he's been spoken to about this nicely once already. Didn't get it. His dad is going to talk to him sometime today...and we'll see if he gets it then. I only get to see him for 15 min. or so a day, so if I have to talk to him, then I'm going to be like a really sharp knife. I will say what I have to say and leave no room for argument and when I'm done, it's gonna hurt. But not til I'm done..right? Anyway....it's a typical Monday for me...don't really have anything worthwhile to say today. I have a couple of thoughts running through my head that I'll get to this week sometime.
Until then, hope y'all are having a good Monday..or at least a less worse Monday than usual.
Friday, April 14, 2006
Manik Dayz
Man, I have been running my ASS off. I forgot it's busy season. I totally forgot about Easter. I have to take one shopping for clothes and I want to sneak out and go to the hardware store and get some stuff for a project. If I don't sneak out and do it, I'm going to have more advice and help than I need. I have had to beat my husband off the plants that I brought back from Texas. He is failing to understand that this is a project that his mother and I are starting...together..he wasn't invited. She is teaching me about plants, and the ones she sent are pretty hard to kill and I should be able to make them flourish. And, I'm going to get them started right by getting some good dirt to put in there..not some old used stuff that's been sitting in a pot for eons. I'm doing this MY way, damn it!
There, that felt better! I have another couple of odds and ends to pick up for a couple of wood projects I brought back, too. I say a couple..haha..I brought back a whole box full of wood projects!
It's only 2 weeks until Talladega and the phone is buzzing and the men are talking. It's funny, but one of my husband's best friends told him for years that he should go. Rick always invited him, too, since he's from Alabama, right? Well, he never went. So, finally he decided that I'd be a pretty good race buddy. I've got his back pretty well and I do sleep with the man...haha...the thing that swung it for me...Y'all have no idea. Just because we're married, doesn't mean that certain things just aren't true. I had to EARN the right to get to hang with the old man at Talladega. I hauled all their extra stuff and helped them pack for like 3 damn years before I put my foot down. I said that they were going to have to figure out how to get all the stuff there without my help or they were going to have to let me come. One year, I dropped a kid off, and my husband escorted me to the gate in order to make it clear that I wasn't welcome. Man, that hurt my feelings. And, that's when I decided, FINE..they can HAVE their guy time..they really can..but I am not doing all the work anymore. I am going to have the opportunity to sit my ass at home and do something fun with the little ones rather than drive back and forth to Alabama all damn weekend long. Humph. I didn't get any argument and not only that, I am GUARANTEED to go..they can discuss who's babysitting the little people amongst themselves. It didn't hurt that I cook a hell of a lot better than any of those guys. They were making themselves ill cooking all this greasy stuff after having drank all night...LOL! I have to say that their experience has been a heck of a lot better with me along. With me along he doesn't get stuck into going on the lets look for tittys walks and in some area that he can't navigate. Man, he fell down every single time. The neighbor dude got fired from being trusted to party with Rick. He never chose the walking path with his bum hips in mind. That just pisses me off. He just doesn't want to take the time to stay on the sidewalks and designated paths ..he wants to take shortcuts across the field where the ground is uneven, there is always a hidden hole..ugh. See, our friend from Va. ...his NAVY friend whow was around..gets that. It's not a huge deal most of the time...it's not like he's crippled or anything, but there are just certain things it's better to avoid because they are known hazards. Falling with joint replacement is a no-no. The last time his whole f-ing leg turned black. It was a horrible sight to behold, let me tell ya. And it was a blow that I could have absorbed and bounced right back up from and never even remembered it happened...would have been no bruise, no nothing. I told my husband he must be one chromosome shy of being a hemopheliac.
I so look forward to these little vacations. And it's not like they are all about the material, either. It's a chance to get together with good friends and family for 4 days. As well, I have to say, it's a good test of emergency preparedness skills, now that I think about it. I have enough cooler storage and water storage containers to have enough stuff for my family to survive for a week, easily. That's a family of 8 people with enough water to cook with, drink, and bathe with. That's rather good information to know.
I was thinking about my mother in law today, of course. I so enjoyed spending time with her. She has such an energy, it's incredible. See, my job is to be her personal assistant. I follow her around with a notepad and take notes on what she's going to do next and what needs to be got at the store and stuff. I started doing that so I could keep track..so I could keep myself out of trouble. When we first got married I was ALWAYS doing the wrong thing at the wrong time. Man, and some of that was my husband's fault, too. I learned real quick not to listen to him because he was just gonna get me in trouble. Once I figured that out, then things started going real smooth. In the process, though, my sisters in law thought I turned suck up and that I was too nice and maybe too much of a pushover. That makes me laugh. A lot of people think that because I give the appearance of being laid back and usually I'm a nice person, that it means if pushed I won't push back. It's to my advantage to have people think that way. Usually gives me the element of surprise and anyone knows in a battle that's one of the most important elements.
Truth be told, I'm wired tight as they come. One of my counselors said that the only people he had ever counseled that were wired as tight as me were Depression Era people. He said that if he had never laid eyes on me, he would have sworn I came from that era. It means to me that I still have the edge...and for some reason it's important to me to keep that edge. It's because I'm old enough to know that shit happens, my husband's work is dangerous, and I might be called upon at any time to take the ball and run with it. Anyway, they know differently now.
My eldest son was getting right irritable with us women fussing over him. That catfish he caught in the pictures, he caught on a pole he had rigged for the little ones. He stripped the gears in the reel and had to pull that sucker up on the bank by hand. In the process, one of the barbs got him. So, us women wanted to see his war wound and ..well, y'all know how women are, right? Well, he's not used to that kind of treatment because I don't have a lot of time for it. I look at it and if it looks fine and they aren't complaining of pain, then I let them go...I make sure to check it at intervals, but it's more of a business like..nurse-like thing, you know? Anyway, he got right snippy with his grandmother and his aunt for fussing too much over him. I snapped off for him to just get over it already and be nice because it was because they loved him and never even slowed down doing what I was doing...making sandwiches, I do believe. I glanced up and saw my sister in law and mother in law with their jaws hanging open..before they recovered and said.."Yeah, it's because we love you." It's from hanging around them so long..I can speak their language...I guess. HIS feelings weren't hurt..he knew what I was saying. He shut the hell right up, too and let them look at his little ouchie. Once they saw it they felt better...all they wanted to do is look at it. He made the process more painful by trying to resist! These are TEXAS women...who are known for not giving in to histrionics.
My husband went to the base yesterday to renew one of the boys i.d. cards and came back with a bounce in his step. He also had to head up to legal and get something notarized and apparently they were dumbfounded at the fact that not only was he retired, but he'd BEEN retired for 10 years. All true. He advanced pretty quick. He made Chief in 12 years and was a senior when I met him. (E-8) for you non-military folk. He's got a few stories to tell. I thought he was going to tell them while I was gone, but he forgot the name of his blog and where it was and all that jazz. I think he played video games a lot while I was gone..LOL!! And talked on the phone. He had news from all his buddies and I've seen them dudes start drinking and calling people...for guys they had some record damn phone calls, let me tell ya. Of course, his group isn't average. They are all some tremendously HUGE egos...and definitely high achievers. A very intense group, for sure. I actually feel honored to have been accepted among them. I was telling my sister in law how one of his friends inspected my cooking ability, one of them came to visit and at the end of the visit announced abruptly..."I'm glad you're not stupid. I don't like stupid people. And I'm glad you're not clingy, that Rick can have a chair to himself without someone on him." One of them tested my intelligence with the word "germane"..and my knowledge of bratwurst. I mentioned in another post that they all propositioned me at one point or another..and they did. I don't believe that anything was actually MEANT by it...from one I got that it was a test...he is the 'extreme' one and he would go that far just to see if I was worthy of his friend. That same guy would drop what he was doing and come and lend a hand if Rick or I ever called and needed him, as well. The same goes with all of them. With another, I get the feeling that was the only way he knew to express his happiness with our union..as crazy as that sounds. And, the other was trying to tell me to assert my rights as his wife...and he called my husband to tell him that he ought not to leave me at home alone and go party in Talladega, someone might come along and steal me. LOL!!! So, I surely do not hold that against any of them...if that makes sense. All of them were a little worried about their place in things too, strange as that seems. Because we're best friends, every single one of them saw me as a threat to their relationship. Even the family did, too. Isn't that funny? Everybody was scared of me. They quickly figured out that they really didn't have anything to worry about. I love my husband and to me that means I love him as he is..and his friends and family are part of who he is. And they are true blue friends..even scattered across the country as we are, those guys stay in touch and I think that's cool as hell.
I was watching my little dude learn to play basketball yesterday and marvelling at his improvement and then realizing that he has so many people teaching him stuff every day and he's just like a little sponge, absorbing everything that everybody throws at him. Each of his brothers has a sport that they play with him and teach him the rules to among other things. They are always reading something to them, or talking to them about something, or answering their endless questions...the level of patience that the older guys show with the younger kids is a sight to see, let me tell you. Those little people worship their older brothers and their older brothers spoil them rotton. Those little people represent the best of all of us.
It's birthday time of year so I've been kind of reminiscing about how things were when my daughter was first born. The first thing that happened was the pink sleeping bag argument got settled forever. We have this sleeping bag and it was maroon originally, I guess and belonged to the oldest kid. Well, the years and washings faded it..until it was pink. Well, being a boy and having a pink sleeping bag was not cool at all and there were MANY fights on camping trips about who was going to get the pink sleeping bag. Whew. Glad that's over.
Sean tired everybody out before he was even born because I got put in bed for the last 2 weeks. High blood pressure...ugh. I gained like 50lbs with that one. It sucked, let me tell ya. My husband was having to work double time..at work and at home, too because all it took for me to swell uplike a balloon was to walk down the stairs. I did some drawing during that time. Wish I'd have thought to write. But, I watched t.v. and kept the kids entertained on the couch with me to help a little bit. So, I would sneak out in the evening when it cooled off and take a dip in the pool. When I had the checkup, the doc asked me if I was 'being good' and I had to confess that I had to have some kind of physical activity and he was THRILLED that I was in the pool. He said that was the best place for me to be to relieve pressure on my joints and give them a rest and whatnot and that the water would help equalize things. THAT was good to know...funny how instinct works, right? He was a difficult birth, too. But, I remember my daughter learning to walk when he was born. She was a late walker because I never put her on the floor. I was convinced that one of the hooligan boys was going to forget about her, run through the house and trample her...LOL!!!
I guess all these birthdays and upcoming anniversary have me thinking of how things have changed so much..and so much for the better..and I'm so grateful..it's been such a fun ride so far and I can't believe it's been so long already...I look forward to seeing all my people as if we had just met yesterday. A lot of the excitedness...and all that IS still there. Nothing makes me happier than to hear the growl of that Camaro coming up the street every afternoon. My whole attitude on life changes!
There, that felt better! I have another couple of odds and ends to pick up for a couple of wood projects I brought back, too. I say a couple..haha..I brought back a whole box full of wood projects!
It's only 2 weeks until Talladega and the phone is buzzing and the men are talking. It's funny, but one of my husband's best friends told him for years that he should go. Rick always invited him, too, since he's from Alabama, right? Well, he never went. So, finally he decided that I'd be a pretty good race buddy. I've got his back pretty well and I do sleep with the man...haha...the thing that swung it for me...Y'all have no idea. Just because we're married, doesn't mean that certain things just aren't true. I had to EARN the right to get to hang with the old man at Talladega. I hauled all their extra stuff and helped them pack for like 3 damn years before I put my foot down. I said that they were going to have to figure out how to get all the stuff there without my help or they were going to have to let me come. One year, I dropped a kid off, and my husband escorted me to the gate in order to make it clear that I wasn't welcome. Man, that hurt my feelings. And, that's when I decided, FINE..they can HAVE their guy time..they really can..but I am not doing all the work anymore. I am going to have the opportunity to sit my ass at home and do something fun with the little ones rather than drive back and forth to Alabama all damn weekend long. Humph. I didn't get any argument and not only that, I am GUARANTEED to go..they can discuss who's babysitting the little people amongst themselves. It didn't hurt that I cook a hell of a lot better than any of those guys. They were making themselves ill cooking all this greasy stuff after having drank all night...LOL! I have to say that their experience has been a heck of a lot better with me along. With me along he doesn't get stuck into going on the lets look for tittys walks and in some area that he can't navigate. Man, he fell down every single time. The neighbor dude got fired from being trusted to party with Rick. He never chose the walking path with his bum hips in mind. That just pisses me off. He just doesn't want to take the time to stay on the sidewalks and designated paths ..he wants to take shortcuts across the field where the ground is uneven, there is always a hidden hole..ugh. See, our friend from Va. ...his NAVY friend whow was around..gets that. It's not a huge deal most of the time...it's not like he's crippled or anything, but there are just certain things it's better to avoid because they are known hazards. Falling with joint replacement is a no-no. The last time his whole f-ing leg turned black. It was a horrible sight to behold, let me tell ya. And it was a blow that I could have absorbed and bounced right back up from and never even remembered it happened...would have been no bruise, no nothing. I told my husband he must be one chromosome shy of being a hemopheliac.
I so look forward to these little vacations. And it's not like they are all about the material, either. It's a chance to get together with good friends and family for 4 days. As well, I have to say, it's a good test of emergency preparedness skills, now that I think about it. I have enough cooler storage and water storage containers to have enough stuff for my family to survive for a week, easily. That's a family of 8 people with enough water to cook with, drink, and bathe with. That's rather good information to know.
I was thinking about my mother in law today, of course. I so enjoyed spending time with her. She has such an energy, it's incredible. See, my job is to be her personal assistant. I follow her around with a notepad and take notes on what she's going to do next and what needs to be got at the store and stuff. I started doing that so I could keep track..so I could keep myself out of trouble. When we first got married I was ALWAYS doing the wrong thing at the wrong time. Man, and some of that was my husband's fault, too. I learned real quick not to listen to him because he was just gonna get me in trouble. Once I figured that out, then things started going real smooth. In the process, though, my sisters in law thought I turned suck up and that I was too nice and maybe too much of a pushover. That makes me laugh. A lot of people think that because I give the appearance of being laid back and usually I'm a nice person, that it means if pushed I won't push back. It's to my advantage to have people think that way. Usually gives me the element of surprise and anyone knows in a battle that's one of the most important elements.
Truth be told, I'm wired tight as they come. One of my counselors said that the only people he had ever counseled that were wired as tight as me were Depression Era people. He said that if he had never laid eyes on me, he would have sworn I came from that era. It means to me that I still have the edge...and for some reason it's important to me to keep that edge. It's because I'm old enough to know that shit happens, my husband's work is dangerous, and I might be called upon at any time to take the ball and run with it. Anyway, they know differently now.
My eldest son was getting right irritable with us women fussing over him. That catfish he caught in the pictures, he caught on a pole he had rigged for the little ones. He stripped the gears in the reel and had to pull that sucker up on the bank by hand. In the process, one of the barbs got him. So, us women wanted to see his war wound and ..well, y'all know how women are, right? Well, he's not used to that kind of treatment because I don't have a lot of time for it. I look at it and if it looks fine and they aren't complaining of pain, then I let them go...I make sure to check it at intervals, but it's more of a business like..nurse-like thing, you know? Anyway, he got right snippy with his grandmother and his aunt for fussing too much over him. I snapped off for him to just get over it already and be nice because it was because they loved him and never even slowed down doing what I was doing...making sandwiches, I do believe. I glanced up and saw my sister in law and mother in law with their jaws hanging open..before they recovered and said.."Yeah, it's because we love you." It's from hanging around them so long..I can speak their language...I guess. HIS feelings weren't hurt..he knew what I was saying. He shut the hell right up, too and let them look at his little ouchie. Once they saw it they felt better...all they wanted to do is look at it. He made the process more painful by trying to resist! These are TEXAS women...who are known for not giving in to histrionics.
My husband went to the base yesterday to renew one of the boys i.d. cards and came back with a bounce in his step. He also had to head up to legal and get something notarized and apparently they were dumbfounded at the fact that not only was he retired, but he'd BEEN retired for 10 years. All true. He advanced pretty quick. He made Chief in 12 years and was a senior when I met him. (E-8) for you non-military folk. He's got a few stories to tell. I thought he was going to tell them while I was gone, but he forgot the name of his blog and where it was and all that jazz. I think he played video games a lot while I was gone..LOL!! And talked on the phone. He had news from all his buddies and I've seen them dudes start drinking and calling people...for guys they had some record damn phone calls, let me tell ya. Of course, his group isn't average. They are all some tremendously HUGE egos...and definitely high achievers. A very intense group, for sure. I actually feel honored to have been accepted among them. I was telling my sister in law how one of his friends inspected my cooking ability, one of them came to visit and at the end of the visit announced abruptly..."I'm glad you're not stupid. I don't like stupid people. And I'm glad you're not clingy, that Rick can have a chair to himself without someone on him." One of them tested my intelligence with the word "germane"..and my knowledge of bratwurst. I mentioned in another post that they all propositioned me at one point or another..and they did. I don't believe that anything was actually MEANT by it...from one I got that it was a test...he is the 'extreme' one and he would go that far just to see if I was worthy of his friend. That same guy would drop what he was doing and come and lend a hand if Rick or I ever called and needed him, as well. The same goes with all of them. With another, I get the feeling that was the only way he knew to express his happiness with our union..as crazy as that sounds. And, the other was trying to tell me to assert my rights as his wife...and he called my husband to tell him that he ought not to leave me at home alone and go party in Talladega, someone might come along and steal me. LOL!!! So, I surely do not hold that against any of them...if that makes sense. All of them were a little worried about their place in things too, strange as that seems. Because we're best friends, every single one of them saw me as a threat to their relationship. Even the family did, too. Isn't that funny? Everybody was scared of me. They quickly figured out that they really didn't have anything to worry about. I love my husband and to me that means I love him as he is..and his friends and family are part of who he is. And they are true blue friends..even scattered across the country as we are, those guys stay in touch and I think that's cool as hell.
I was watching my little dude learn to play basketball yesterday and marvelling at his improvement and then realizing that he has so many people teaching him stuff every day and he's just like a little sponge, absorbing everything that everybody throws at him. Each of his brothers has a sport that they play with him and teach him the rules to among other things. They are always reading something to them, or talking to them about something, or answering their endless questions...the level of patience that the older guys show with the younger kids is a sight to see, let me tell you. Those little people worship their older brothers and their older brothers spoil them rotton. Those little people represent the best of all of us.
It's birthday time of year so I've been kind of reminiscing about how things were when my daughter was first born. The first thing that happened was the pink sleeping bag argument got settled forever. We have this sleeping bag and it was maroon originally, I guess and belonged to the oldest kid. Well, the years and washings faded it..until it was pink. Well, being a boy and having a pink sleeping bag was not cool at all and there were MANY fights on camping trips about who was going to get the pink sleeping bag. Whew. Glad that's over.
Sean tired everybody out before he was even born because I got put in bed for the last 2 weeks. High blood pressure...ugh. I gained like 50lbs with that one. It sucked, let me tell ya. My husband was having to work double time..at work and at home, too because all it took for me to swell uplike a balloon was to walk down the stairs. I did some drawing during that time. Wish I'd have thought to write. But, I watched t.v. and kept the kids entertained on the couch with me to help a little bit. So, I would sneak out in the evening when it cooled off and take a dip in the pool. When I had the checkup, the doc asked me if I was 'being good' and I had to confess that I had to have some kind of physical activity and he was THRILLED that I was in the pool. He said that was the best place for me to be to relieve pressure on my joints and give them a rest and whatnot and that the water would help equalize things. THAT was good to know...funny how instinct works, right? He was a difficult birth, too. But, I remember my daughter learning to walk when he was born. She was a late walker because I never put her on the floor. I was convinced that one of the hooligan boys was going to forget about her, run through the house and trample her...LOL!!!
I guess all these birthdays and upcoming anniversary have me thinking of how things have changed so much..and so much for the better..and I'm so grateful..it's been such a fun ride so far and I can't believe it's been so long already...I look forward to seeing all my people as if we had just met yesterday. A lot of the excitedness...and all that IS still there. Nothing makes me happier than to hear the growl of that Camaro coming up the street every afternoon. My whole attitude on life changes!
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Commercials
Have any of y'all seen that commercial for Talladega? It always ends with.."Can't wait for Talladega?"
Well, that's what is going on around here this week. We have got some Talladega fever. I have it REAL bad since I was so close to Texas Motor Speedway and had to drive the WRONG damn direction and I couldn't find the Busch Race on the radio or anything. Guess it's time to start paying for some satellite stuff. I tried to talk my mother in law into putting the race on, but no joy there. I know Dad would have watched, too. I tried to get my oldest son to make the request, so that she would be more inclined to do it...and he didn't help me out much either.
So, my 19 yr old apparently has the fever, as he started making a list..criticizing the list we already had made and now there's a stack of stuff in the garage just waiting to be packed. His been dogging the footsteps of my eldest, wanting to know where all the sleeping bags are and making him cough them up...asking me what we are planning to eat..boy howdy does he have the fever. I'm a more casual packer. I know what needs to go on trips, I don't need a list anymore.
Tickets are secure and the excitement is mounting! I couldn't stay awake last weekend to watch all the race, I was so tired from the drive, but I'll be watching it this weekend. The only thing that bums me out about Talladega is that the trucks are going to be in Nashville that weekend and I do love the trucks. In the fall, though, I get to have it ALL..trucks too..and that is going to be IT as far as I am concerned. Those trucks are TOUGH and their drivers are even tougher. When's the last time you saw Tony Stewart not be able to make a race? Yeah, THAT'S where the competition is!
The countdown begins!!! One of these years, we're going to have to have a big 'ol blog meet at the racetrack....hmmm????
Well, that's what is going on around here this week. We have got some Talladega fever. I have it REAL bad since I was so close to Texas Motor Speedway and had to drive the WRONG damn direction and I couldn't find the Busch Race on the radio or anything. Guess it's time to start paying for some satellite stuff. I tried to talk my mother in law into putting the race on, but no joy there. I know Dad would have watched, too. I tried to get my oldest son to make the request, so that she would be more inclined to do it...and he didn't help me out much either.
So, my 19 yr old apparently has the fever, as he started making a list..criticizing the list we already had made and now there's a stack of stuff in the garage just waiting to be packed. His been dogging the footsteps of my eldest, wanting to know where all the sleeping bags are and making him cough them up...asking me what we are planning to eat..boy howdy does he have the fever. I'm a more casual packer. I know what needs to go on trips, I don't need a list anymore.
Tickets are secure and the excitement is mounting! I couldn't stay awake last weekend to watch all the race, I was so tired from the drive, but I'll be watching it this weekend. The only thing that bums me out about Talladega is that the trucks are going to be in Nashville that weekend and I do love the trucks. In the fall, though, I get to have it ALL..trucks too..and that is going to be IT as far as I am concerned. Those trucks are TOUGH and their drivers are even tougher. When's the last time you saw Tony Stewart not be able to make a race? Yeah, THAT'S where the competition is!
The countdown begins!!! One of these years, we're going to have to have a big 'ol blog meet at the racetrack....hmmm????
Validation
That's what I get from my visits to Texas. I have accepted that for whatever reason, God has decided that my place is to be here in NE Georgia, but know my heart is in Texas.
I have never been winked at before by so many men, as I am in Texas. Of course, I kind of look like a native, with my blue jeans and my boots. I got a pair of deer hide boots at a cowboy store on our first visit and I wear them there. They are the softest boots you've ever felt, and the envy of all the younger women in the family, I might add. But, this time I took my hiking boots. I figured being on the lake and planning on hiking in the woods a little, it was a good idea. There are snakes in those lakes. Anyway, every time my mother in law and I go out shopping, every damn man in the store will give me a wink. Pick a store..any store...and it happens. I am rather puzzled by this, but I enjoy it nonetheless. My mother in law is a man magnet of her own. Before she was forced to be housebound with dad, she knew everybody within 3 counties. She still knows a LOT of people.
So, we headed out to Sulphur Springs one day and there on the right hand side of the highway was this HUGE ornate house..you couldn't miss it..it had archways and was unarguably the coolest house I've ever seen. Ever heard of JB Weld? Yes, his widow lives there. The JB Weld house. Ohhhh...and flanked on the other side nearby..have to get a location is Carol Shelby's ranch. No damn wonder there's no jobs...
So, only my one sister in law was able to make it out. I asked hers AND Mom's opinion on my eldest, right? He is such a joy to have around..I know I bitch about him a lot, but it's only because he's so damn disorganized. Being disorganized isn't the crime of the century, although it can cause some serious problems. But, his motive for staying here is simply because he loves us and he is very family oriented. When he moves out, he's not going far, and that's just how it's going to be. I guess spending time with my mother in law kind of put that in perspective. I could live next door to her and be perfectly happy. I just wish I would have known that 10 years ago when we had the opportunity to move there. Anyway, they could see what I was talking about and he wasn't any different there, than here. He still would do jobs for his grandmother and forget the last part...cleaning up the old stuff...and all us women went behind him and took care of that...justifying it by saying since he took care of a job none of us had the technical skill to do, we are expressing our gratitude by taking care of the old parts and whatnot. And it's still teamwork, right? So, I don't think anybody is really concerned about him continuing to live with us. He, of all the kids, understands his dad's limitations with the fake hips and he worships his father. He knows if he moves out, then my husband will have to take over the chore of getting on the roof and other stuff that he shouldn't be doing and he doesn't trust his brothers to get the job done right...and how can you shove a kid out the door that feels that way? It's not like he's a mooch or anything, because those things he takes care of do mean a lot.
As well, believe it or not...my in laws have known the kid LONGER than I have, so their input on his progress, his motives and general well being, mean a LOT to me. They know where these kids came from. Apparently, I'm the only one in a long time that Dad has said is doing a good job. I always knew my father in law was frugal with words, but I didn't know he was frugal with praise, either. It's funny, but it didn't register when he said it..the honor...because I already knew I was doing a good job. That's how praise works...you get it when you already know...so it's like someone is making an observation. A lot of people take that as conceit in me, but it's not..it is egolessness. I know when I'm doing a good job and when I'm not. And it pisses me off for someone to tell me I'm doing a good job, when I'm CLEARLY not.
But, it's good to have some experienced women that you can trust to bounce things off of...like what the next step might be, am I handling this correctly. It's good to have people who AREN'T going to blow smoke up your ass and who don't have an agenda.
This is the first time in my life that I've been a part of an extended family...and I love it so. My husband's family is the best, and I'm kinda like Hyde on That 70's Show...I'm just grateful. The best part of it is..it was an earned thing. They love me...for myself...and I love them..for themselves.
Such is the life of the Second Wife...but it's much more rewarding to have earned the love and the respect of the people around you. I am fortunate in that if I hadn't married into this family...any one of the members I could be friends with independently. How cool is that?
I have never been winked at before by so many men, as I am in Texas. Of course, I kind of look like a native, with my blue jeans and my boots. I got a pair of deer hide boots at a cowboy store on our first visit and I wear them there. They are the softest boots you've ever felt, and the envy of all the younger women in the family, I might add. But, this time I took my hiking boots. I figured being on the lake and planning on hiking in the woods a little, it was a good idea. There are snakes in those lakes. Anyway, every time my mother in law and I go out shopping, every damn man in the store will give me a wink. Pick a store..any store...and it happens. I am rather puzzled by this, but I enjoy it nonetheless. My mother in law is a man magnet of her own. Before she was forced to be housebound with dad, she knew everybody within 3 counties. She still knows a LOT of people.
So, we headed out to Sulphur Springs one day and there on the right hand side of the highway was this HUGE ornate house..you couldn't miss it..it had archways and was unarguably the coolest house I've ever seen. Ever heard of JB Weld? Yes, his widow lives there. The JB Weld house. Ohhhh...and flanked on the other side nearby..have to get a location is Carol Shelby's ranch. No damn wonder there's no jobs...
So, only my one sister in law was able to make it out. I asked hers AND Mom's opinion on my eldest, right? He is such a joy to have around..I know I bitch about him a lot, but it's only because he's so damn disorganized. Being disorganized isn't the crime of the century, although it can cause some serious problems. But, his motive for staying here is simply because he loves us and he is very family oriented. When he moves out, he's not going far, and that's just how it's going to be. I guess spending time with my mother in law kind of put that in perspective. I could live next door to her and be perfectly happy. I just wish I would have known that 10 years ago when we had the opportunity to move there. Anyway, they could see what I was talking about and he wasn't any different there, than here. He still would do jobs for his grandmother and forget the last part...cleaning up the old stuff...and all us women went behind him and took care of that...justifying it by saying since he took care of a job none of us had the technical skill to do, we are expressing our gratitude by taking care of the old parts and whatnot. And it's still teamwork, right? So, I don't think anybody is really concerned about him continuing to live with us. He, of all the kids, understands his dad's limitations with the fake hips and he worships his father. He knows if he moves out, then my husband will have to take over the chore of getting on the roof and other stuff that he shouldn't be doing and he doesn't trust his brothers to get the job done right...and how can you shove a kid out the door that feels that way? It's not like he's a mooch or anything, because those things he takes care of do mean a lot.
As well, believe it or not...my in laws have known the kid LONGER than I have, so their input on his progress, his motives and general well being, mean a LOT to me. They know where these kids came from. Apparently, I'm the only one in a long time that Dad has said is doing a good job. I always knew my father in law was frugal with words, but I didn't know he was frugal with praise, either. It's funny, but it didn't register when he said it..the honor...because I already knew I was doing a good job. That's how praise works...you get it when you already know...so it's like someone is making an observation. A lot of people take that as conceit in me, but it's not..it is egolessness. I know when I'm doing a good job and when I'm not. And it pisses me off for someone to tell me I'm doing a good job, when I'm CLEARLY not.
But, it's good to have some experienced women that you can trust to bounce things off of...like what the next step might be, am I handling this correctly. It's good to have people who AREN'T going to blow smoke up your ass and who don't have an agenda.
This is the first time in my life that I've been a part of an extended family...and I love it so. My husband's family is the best, and I'm kinda like Hyde on That 70's Show...I'm just grateful. The best part of it is..it was an earned thing. They love me...for myself...and I love them..for themselves.
Such is the life of the Second Wife...but it's much more rewarding to have earned the love and the respect of the people around you. I am fortunate in that if I hadn't married into this family...any one of the members I could be friends with independently. How cool is that?
A couple of Pics
A couple of the fish caught. The catfish was the catch of the trip, though. But, the little ones had a BLAST pulling those little sunfish right off the dock. The picture of the flowers is an English Ivy plant that my mother in law has growing around a tomato cone. My daughter decided it needed a little dressing up and added the artificial roses. She just has a talent, I think, for creating beauty around her. I admire it because I would have NEVER thought to do something like that. And it looked good too!
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Love
Man, I don't know what I did to deserve such a wonderful and loving husband, but I am ever so grateful.
When I got home from Texas...my house was clean, shopping was done, and the meal was planned so that the only thing I had to do Sunday was to take a nap, and watch the race with my husband. How cool is that? What a sweetheart.
You bet your sweet ass he got laid good!
When I got home from Texas...my house was clean, shopping was done, and the meal was planned so that the only thing I had to do Sunday was to take a nap, and watch the race with my husband. How cool is that? What a sweetheart.
You bet your sweet ass he got laid good!
So, We're French Today????
I notice all the controls for blogger are in French today. Lovely.
So, we had the Tom and Jerry show again yesterday with all these animals. It's a cruel world out there, for sure.
We have the cat..good rodent catching, bird bringing, cat. We have the dog...good cat chasing, dog.
So, we're sitting in the garage yesterday..of course..having a beer and a smoke, when here comes the cat with something in it's mouth that it caught. We of course wondered what it might be..you never can tell with the cat. It was larger than her usual prey and she was exceedingly proud. Is it a bird? Nope...by damn it's a baby squirrel!!! Wrong again..it was a CHIPMUNK! That cat was trying to kill my chipmunks that moved in over the fall..boo hoo. I had just been wondering if they made it through the winter and how my little chipmunk couple was doing.
All during the fall these two little chipmunks hauled ass storing food for the winter. Smart little devils too as there are several hawks that patrol the area, the chipmunks never broke cover.
So, the cat brings the chipmunk to us...still alive and that little sucker's feet were churning before the cat even dropped it. Soon as it was on the ground it hauled ass over next to the air compressor, squeaking it's little heart out the whole way and hid, cowering for it's life behind the air compressor. Now, the cat is all casual. It has this attitude like it's a giant cat or something..totally confident. So, it just stretches out along the doorway to the garage with one eye on the location of the chipmunk and starts lazily washing itself.
After some minutes, the chipmunk decided to make a break for it, the cat hot on it's tail. They tear through the yard and after 10 min. or so, we start saying the eulogy for the chipmunk and then forgot all about it. Just when we get all relaxed, here comes the chipmunk...bouncing into the garage, with the cat right on it's tail. It managed to get itself hid, but that was some funny stuff. The cat skidded to a halt right before it crashed into the work bench and was PISSED. It was DETERMINED to get the chipmunk.
Now, I want all my little animals to live in peace and harmony so I shooed the cat and made it let the poor little chipmunk be. I told the cat if it didn't stop, I was turning the dog loose on it. I don't think it believed me. Then, somebody let the damn dog out so we then had the cat hauling ass out of the garage with the dog in hot pursuit. You know, I really ought to get a video camera.
So, we had the Tom and Jerry show again yesterday with all these animals. It's a cruel world out there, for sure.
We have the cat..good rodent catching, bird bringing, cat. We have the dog...good cat chasing, dog.
So, we're sitting in the garage yesterday..of course..having a beer and a smoke, when here comes the cat with something in it's mouth that it caught. We of course wondered what it might be..you never can tell with the cat. It was larger than her usual prey and she was exceedingly proud. Is it a bird? Nope...by damn it's a baby squirrel!!! Wrong again..it was a CHIPMUNK! That cat was trying to kill my chipmunks that moved in over the fall..boo hoo. I had just been wondering if they made it through the winter and how my little chipmunk couple was doing.
All during the fall these two little chipmunks hauled ass storing food for the winter. Smart little devils too as there are several hawks that patrol the area, the chipmunks never broke cover.
So, the cat brings the chipmunk to us...still alive and that little sucker's feet were churning before the cat even dropped it. Soon as it was on the ground it hauled ass over next to the air compressor, squeaking it's little heart out the whole way and hid, cowering for it's life behind the air compressor. Now, the cat is all casual. It has this attitude like it's a giant cat or something..totally confident. So, it just stretches out along the doorway to the garage with one eye on the location of the chipmunk and starts lazily washing itself.
After some minutes, the chipmunk decided to make a break for it, the cat hot on it's tail. They tear through the yard and after 10 min. or so, we start saying the eulogy for the chipmunk and then forgot all about it. Just when we get all relaxed, here comes the chipmunk...bouncing into the garage, with the cat right on it's tail. It managed to get itself hid, but that was some funny stuff. The cat skidded to a halt right before it crashed into the work bench and was PISSED. It was DETERMINED to get the chipmunk.
Now, I want all my little animals to live in peace and harmony so I shooed the cat and made it let the poor little chipmunk be. I told the cat if it didn't stop, I was turning the dog loose on it. I don't think it believed me. Then, somebody let the damn dog out so we then had the cat hauling ass out of the garage with the dog in hot pursuit. You know, I really ought to get a video camera.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Saturday Night
So, it started Saturday night. The kids were wound up from being stuck in the car for so long. That's part of the reason I get where I'm going quick. And you know, I've only had one speeding ticket. I got a warning once in SC. Knock on wood. Got superb gas mileage too, unbelievably. Chevy's like to be run at top speed, I guess. I quit counting when I went 469 miles on half a tank of gas. Oh never mind..I know that's damn good.
Anyway, because Dad didn't want to go to bed and we were kind of wound up, Mom decided we could stay up a little late and she was going to blow off church in the morning. It was also daylight savings time, so we didn't actually lose any time on the road. We got back the hour we lost during the time zone change, that was really cool, let me tell ya. Mom said if I got up early NOT TO WAKE HER UP.
So, at 7:30, little dude was up and wandering around talking to himself and woke his grandmother up. Only, SHE thought it was 6:30. That time change and his grin saved his little life. Man, I came downstairs..RIGHT after her...and she lit into me...LOL!!! Anyway, undaunted by his grandmother's wrath, and uncaring, to boot, he announces that he brought his suit so he could go to church with her. She WAS going to church, right? And the grin. Well, she sure as heck wasn't going to turn down that date, so she and the little people trekked off to church while the big ones and I stayed home to keep Dad company and make sure lunch was fixed. Not a problem.
Well, my kids always do me proud, they really do. The congregation is comprised mostly of people in their 70's and 80's. There are a couple of families that are in their 50's and only one child. After the service, which happened to be a communion service, one of the ladies of the church approached my mother in law. According to her, this lady was a retired school teacher and taught for like 50 years or something...anyway, she told my mother in law that those two little ones were the best behaved children she had seen....ever. As well, another of my mother in law's acquaintances whom is quite fussy about things and extremely critical called and left a message on her answering machine about how wonderful they were. Man, this is the kind of stuff ALL my kids do..they do stuff because they love people and they seem to instinctively know exactly what to do or say to make people feel just damn good. I know it sounds like bragging, and I am..on them. I didn't make them the way they are..they were born that way. I have merely tried to create an environment that allows them to be themselves. But, I do not force them to do things like that..they do those things of their own free will..they give of themselves and make sacrifices and choices...all of their own free will. I just sit and marvel at it and really..record it.
They bring healing into the lives of people. From the oldest to the youngest...they are very spiritual beings...and truly understand the power and value of love and honesty for the most part...I don't really have words for what I've seen them do. They are amazing people, they really are.
Anyway, because Dad didn't want to go to bed and we were kind of wound up, Mom decided we could stay up a little late and she was going to blow off church in the morning. It was also daylight savings time, so we didn't actually lose any time on the road. We got back the hour we lost during the time zone change, that was really cool, let me tell ya. Mom said if I got up early NOT TO WAKE HER UP.
So, at 7:30, little dude was up and wandering around talking to himself and woke his grandmother up. Only, SHE thought it was 6:30. That time change and his grin saved his little life. Man, I came downstairs..RIGHT after her...and she lit into me...LOL!!! Anyway, undaunted by his grandmother's wrath, and uncaring, to boot, he announces that he brought his suit so he could go to church with her. She WAS going to church, right? And the grin. Well, she sure as heck wasn't going to turn down that date, so she and the little people trekked off to church while the big ones and I stayed home to keep Dad company and make sure lunch was fixed. Not a problem.
Well, my kids always do me proud, they really do. The congregation is comprised mostly of people in their 70's and 80's. There are a couple of families that are in their 50's and only one child. After the service, which happened to be a communion service, one of the ladies of the church approached my mother in law. According to her, this lady was a retired school teacher and taught for like 50 years or something...anyway, she told my mother in law that those two little ones were the best behaved children she had seen....ever. As well, another of my mother in law's acquaintances whom is quite fussy about things and extremely critical called and left a message on her answering machine about how wonderful they were. Man, this is the kind of stuff ALL my kids do..they do stuff because they love people and they seem to instinctively know exactly what to do or say to make people feel just damn good. I know it sounds like bragging, and I am..on them. I didn't make them the way they are..they were born that way. I have merely tried to create an environment that allows them to be themselves. But, I do not force them to do things like that..they do those things of their own free will..they give of themselves and make sacrifices and choices...all of their own free will. I just sit and marvel at it and really..record it.
They bring healing into the lives of people. From the oldest to the youngest...they are very spiritual beings...and truly understand the power and value of love and honesty for the most part...I don't really have words for what I've seen them do. They are amazing people, they really are.
Day Late And Dollar Short
I know, I know...I said I would post yesterday. Y'all can blame Yabu..he's the one that said I should take a good long nap...which I did, by the way. Man, I'm getting older. I can remember when a 13 hour drive just invigorated me. Although, that one did in a way. I know I could have been a race car driver and a damn good one too. You see the vehicle I took was the Blazer. Yes, I pushed that little truck to the limits, but she held up well. Did I mention that I had 4 of my kids with me? Yes, excellent travellers they are..veterans. We'll get into their merits here in a minute.
So, the very first thing I noticed when crossing the Arkansas line into Texas...is that Texas is GREEN. When I got back, I noticed one of my commenters had said that it would be green and man, oh, man...you only thought you knew what the color green was. Oddly enough, I have ever only seen that color green once before in my life...and that was in a dream. It made me wonder...is heaven in Texas? It was a deja vu kind of experience, let me tell ya. So green that it was a little hard to read the road signs when they were positioned just right.
Oddly enough the only bad accidents I saw coming or going were right here in Atlanta. On the way out we passed two fatalities and that rather sucked. Rain, too much horsepower and not enough sense. Impaled himself on the guard rail.
Seeing the in-laws is always a joy. It was quiet in that the rest of the family didn't stop out. If I'd have known that this past weekend was TMS..I would have altered my plans accordingly and been to one of those races. 75 miles or so away, I was...ah, there's always next year.
So, I brought a book along to give to my father in law that came recommended by PawPaw..Dead Man's Walk, by Larry McMurtry. Thank you ever so much. He fell on that book like a starving man falls on food. He didn't want to go to bed after I gave him the book and Mom was fussing at him. I told her "Mom, there's a naked lady in his book, give him a break!" I don't think he could believe that I told her that!
Dad and I fell into our normal routine of the good mornings and good nights for the first couple of days. On Wednesday, we had our first conversation that we've had in years. Remember, I told you, he's a man of very few words. Thursday happened to be their 63rd wedding anniversary. Let's put this into perspective for a minute. These people were MARRIED for 25 years...before I was even born.
Anyhow, after that long..the romance is not as evident to the casual observer. But, I'm not a casual observer, I can see that it's still alive in them, very much so, but they communicate mainly through eye contact and body language. Words are overrated sometimes, I think. So, I stopped out and sat down and asked Dad if he wanted me to do any shopping for him since he's pretty much homebound these days. His whole face changed, but then he started giving me shit for wanting to waste money....LOL! He said, "What in the hell can I buy her that she can't get for herself? What in the hell can she buy me..I'm 86 years old, there is not a damn thing I need anymore. I don't wear ties, etc. I'm just sitting here waiting to die. All my friends are dead, I wonder why I'm still here." Smiling the whole time, though, so don't take it out of context. Hell, I was thrilled because those were the most words I'd heard him speak in like 2 years now. I asked him...Well, Dad, don't you think some flowers or something might just put a light in Mom's eye and a smile on her face? He said, "What in the hell do you want to waste money on some flowers that are going to just die, anyway?" I gave it up as a lost cause after that...I said.."So, Dad, what you're saying is that after 63 years, she knows you love her, by damn?" Pretty much. I don't know if Mom was listening, but we sure went to Lowe's and got a WHOLE bunch of pretty flowers to plant in her flower bed. She has a real green thumb and her whole yard is just gorgeous with beautiful flowers. She sent some plants home with me, too.
After the 'do you want me to go shopping for you' conversation and the announcement that he was just waiting around to die anyway, we had a long discussion about my husband and how much he loves him and how proud he is of him and then the worries about the hips, what happens if he has to have another hip replacement, what is that going to do to us financially, ..these conversations really bother my husband because we've had them over and over again, right? But, they don't bother me because it only takes 5 min. to put his mind at ease and then we can move on. I gues because I never knew him in his prime, seeing him now isn't as traumatic for me as it is for the rest of the family. Therefore, I am more able to treat him normally and not be concerned with certain things. I think that's important, too. I'm used to having to repeat myself anyway with all these kids, and it's sad, but there is a lot of similarities. But, that's cool..it's the circle of life. I swear, my youngest child is that man's twin. It is uncanny, the resemblance.
One of my sister in laws came out for a day or so and we had a BLAST! We always do, though. We decided we are going to make a time capsule for the next generations. My donation is going to be an empty wine bottle. That should explain it ALL!!! We spent a certain amount of time trashing my husband's ex..that was oh so much fun!! She said she's glad to know that I can be a little bit ugly at times..that I'm not sweet ALL the time...not a pushover. I do give that appearance because I'm so agreeable most of the time. But on certain issues, I am very fierce. If I've decided that it's a battle worth fighting, then look out because I am like a dog with a bone, I will win. I'll win by YOUR rules, even. I'm really pissed at the ex right now anyway because of the new information I have just learned. I'm kind of a slow burn, but I'm building up a head of steam on this one and I have a few reminders as to just what she's all about.
My mother in law and I went through a ton of stuff. They have an annual yard sale at the community center where they live..it's a gated lake community with quite a few retirees there. There isn't any jobs to speak of in the area, so it's mostly retirees with just enough commuters and weekend people to make the right balance. If I was one of my single nieces, I would be at my mother in law's every weekend. That woman knows everybody in the place and around the area. She used to know everybody for like 3 counties..but her seclusion has kept her out of touch. She's having to make contacts in other places. Pretty much the only way you're going to get a job in that area, though, is to have a business in mind. Which makes me really sad, because I could live near my mother in law in a heartbeat and hang out with her all day, every day. She's a hell of a lot of fun, and has a wonderful sense of humor. She joined in with my sister in law and I while we were drinking wine and cutting up.
Anyway, she gave me some little things that my husband made when he was little ..and a booklet that my eldest son wrote when he was littler.
It went like this...
James
Who cares deeply about family
Who feels joy
Who needs a family
Who gives happiness to others
Who fears the dark
Who would like to have a nice dog
It made me cry. It also made me glad to be a part of making it come true. I really enjoyed his company this week and his grandmother did, too. It was good to see him relax..he even took the time to spend with his little brother and sister..who just worship him, by the way. He picked up a portable DVD player at work so they would be entertained on the trip and picked out a bunch of DVD's for them. He took care of a bunchg of chores for his grandmother that put everybody's mind at ease and seeing him catch his 5.5lb catfish was the SHIT! I do have pictures as proof. Good fishing in that little pond, let me tell ya! It's not really a pond, it does qualify as a lake...it's a good 30+ feet deep when it's at full pool, when it's not, I think it's only 20 ft. or so. They haven't measured it recently...we usually do it at the height of summer. There's some good sized fish in there, though..for sure. My eldest rigged up a pole for the little ones so they could just sit off the dock and pull in sunfish all evening long and they were thrilled with that!
A week isn't really long enough, though. I'm trying to talk momma into getting high speed internet access..I planted the seed this time. Next time, I'll add another point to it. That's the thing with elderly people..you have got to give them time to get used to an idea. You have to talk slower, move slower, and think slower...and you know what? It's good practice to have to slow down from the hecticness of life sometimes. You might see something worth seeing or hear something worth hearing...
Now my fingers are tired, although my tale isn't done. I'll get more chronological tomorrow. Lots of stuff happened this week...lots of things learned. One thing is for sure, I am blessed.
So, the very first thing I noticed when crossing the Arkansas line into Texas...is that Texas is GREEN. When I got back, I noticed one of my commenters had said that it would be green and man, oh, man...you only thought you knew what the color green was. Oddly enough, I have ever only seen that color green once before in my life...and that was in a dream. It made me wonder...is heaven in Texas? It was a deja vu kind of experience, let me tell ya. So green that it was a little hard to read the road signs when they were positioned just right.
Oddly enough the only bad accidents I saw coming or going were right here in Atlanta. On the way out we passed two fatalities and that rather sucked. Rain, too much horsepower and not enough sense. Impaled himself on the guard rail.
Seeing the in-laws is always a joy. It was quiet in that the rest of the family didn't stop out. If I'd have known that this past weekend was TMS..I would have altered my plans accordingly and been to one of those races. 75 miles or so away, I was...ah, there's always next year.
So, I brought a book along to give to my father in law that came recommended by PawPaw..Dead Man's Walk, by Larry McMurtry. Thank you ever so much. He fell on that book like a starving man falls on food. He didn't want to go to bed after I gave him the book and Mom was fussing at him. I told her "Mom, there's a naked lady in his book, give him a break!" I don't think he could believe that I told her that!
Dad and I fell into our normal routine of the good mornings and good nights for the first couple of days. On Wednesday, we had our first conversation that we've had in years. Remember, I told you, he's a man of very few words. Thursday happened to be their 63rd wedding anniversary. Let's put this into perspective for a minute. These people were MARRIED for 25 years...before I was even born.
Anyhow, after that long..the romance is not as evident to the casual observer. But, I'm not a casual observer, I can see that it's still alive in them, very much so, but they communicate mainly through eye contact and body language. Words are overrated sometimes, I think. So, I stopped out and sat down and asked Dad if he wanted me to do any shopping for him since he's pretty much homebound these days. His whole face changed, but then he started giving me shit for wanting to waste money....LOL! He said, "What in the hell can I buy her that she can't get for herself? What in the hell can she buy me..I'm 86 years old, there is not a damn thing I need anymore. I don't wear ties, etc. I'm just sitting here waiting to die. All my friends are dead, I wonder why I'm still here." Smiling the whole time, though, so don't take it out of context. Hell, I was thrilled because those were the most words I'd heard him speak in like 2 years now. I asked him...Well, Dad, don't you think some flowers or something might just put a light in Mom's eye and a smile on her face? He said, "What in the hell do you want to waste money on some flowers that are going to just die, anyway?" I gave it up as a lost cause after that...I said.."So, Dad, what you're saying is that after 63 years, she knows you love her, by damn?" Pretty much. I don't know if Mom was listening, but we sure went to Lowe's and got a WHOLE bunch of pretty flowers to plant in her flower bed. She has a real green thumb and her whole yard is just gorgeous with beautiful flowers. She sent some plants home with me, too.
After the 'do you want me to go shopping for you' conversation and the announcement that he was just waiting around to die anyway, we had a long discussion about my husband and how much he loves him and how proud he is of him and then the worries about the hips, what happens if he has to have another hip replacement, what is that going to do to us financially, ..these conversations really bother my husband because we've had them over and over again, right? But, they don't bother me because it only takes 5 min. to put his mind at ease and then we can move on. I gues because I never knew him in his prime, seeing him now isn't as traumatic for me as it is for the rest of the family. Therefore, I am more able to treat him normally and not be concerned with certain things. I think that's important, too. I'm used to having to repeat myself anyway with all these kids, and it's sad, but there is a lot of similarities. But, that's cool..it's the circle of life. I swear, my youngest child is that man's twin. It is uncanny, the resemblance.
One of my sister in laws came out for a day or so and we had a BLAST! We always do, though. We decided we are going to make a time capsule for the next generations. My donation is going to be an empty wine bottle. That should explain it ALL!!! We spent a certain amount of time trashing my husband's ex..that was oh so much fun!! She said she's glad to know that I can be a little bit ugly at times..that I'm not sweet ALL the time...not a pushover. I do give that appearance because I'm so agreeable most of the time. But on certain issues, I am very fierce. If I've decided that it's a battle worth fighting, then look out because I am like a dog with a bone, I will win. I'll win by YOUR rules, even. I'm really pissed at the ex right now anyway because of the new information I have just learned. I'm kind of a slow burn, but I'm building up a head of steam on this one and I have a few reminders as to just what she's all about.
My mother in law and I went through a ton of stuff. They have an annual yard sale at the community center where they live..it's a gated lake community with quite a few retirees there. There isn't any jobs to speak of in the area, so it's mostly retirees with just enough commuters and weekend people to make the right balance. If I was one of my single nieces, I would be at my mother in law's every weekend. That woman knows everybody in the place and around the area. She used to know everybody for like 3 counties..but her seclusion has kept her out of touch. She's having to make contacts in other places. Pretty much the only way you're going to get a job in that area, though, is to have a business in mind. Which makes me really sad, because I could live near my mother in law in a heartbeat and hang out with her all day, every day. She's a hell of a lot of fun, and has a wonderful sense of humor. She joined in with my sister in law and I while we were drinking wine and cutting up.
Anyway, she gave me some little things that my husband made when he was little ..and a booklet that my eldest son wrote when he was littler.
It went like this...
James
Who cares deeply about family
Who feels joy
Who needs a family
Who gives happiness to others
Who fears the dark
Who would like to have a nice dog
It made me cry. It also made me glad to be a part of making it come true. I really enjoyed his company this week and his grandmother did, too. It was good to see him relax..he even took the time to spend with his little brother and sister..who just worship him, by the way. He picked up a portable DVD player at work so they would be entertained on the trip and picked out a bunch of DVD's for them. He took care of a bunchg of chores for his grandmother that put everybody's mind at ease and seeing him catch his 5.5lb catfish was the SHIT! I do have pictures as proof. Good fishing in that little pond, let me tell ya! It's not really a pond, it does qualify as a lake...it's a good 30+ feet deep when it's at full pool, when it's not, I think it's only 20 ft. or so. They haven't measured it recently...we usually do it at the height of summer. There's some good sized fish in there, though..for sure. My eldest rigged up a pole for the little ones so they could just sit off the dock and pull in sunfish all evening long and they were thrilled with that!
A week isn't really long enough, though. I'm trying to talk momma into getting high speed internet access..I planted the seed this time. Next time, I'll add another point to it. That's the thing with elderly people..you have got to give them time to get used to an idea. You have to talk slower, move slower, and think slower...and you know what? It's good practice to have to slow down from the hecticness of life sometimes. You might see something worth seeing or hear something worth hearing...
Now my fingers are tired, although my tale isn't done. I'll get more chronological tomorrow. Lots of stuff happened this week...lots of things learned. One thing is for sure, I am blessed.
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Home Again!
It was a superb week but after doing 950 miles in 13.5 hours, I'm not too ready to sit just yet.
I do have to spend the day unpacking the truck, but I'll be back tomorrow!
Hope y'all had a nice week!
I do have to spend the day unpacking the truck, but I'll be back tomorrow!
Hope y'all had a nice week!
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