I am so blessed with such a wonderful family that I still have to pinch myself sometimes.
When I married the senior chief, I knew he was a special guy, you know? I had no idea that I was getting such a special family as well.
My mother in law is one of my favorite people in the whole wide world. Our early years were a little rocky, but once we got to know each other, we started becoming friends.
One of the things I love the most about my mother in law is that she will put aside all preconceived notion and prejudices to try a new way of thinking just for the ones she loves.
For example, the latest thing she's done that really just brings tears to my eyes and is the inspiration for this post, honestly.
My son Joe is very religious about writing his grandmother. He told her in one letter to check out the 01 car of Mark Marting during the Daytona 500 and root for the Army car.
Now my mother in law is not into racing of any kind. She's rather proper about things and racing is a bit too redneck for her. I mean, you dress when you're going out in public and jeans, ladies don't wear jeans and married women wear different clothes than single women and so on and so forth. Proper, she is. And racing isn't her thing.
Yeah, she's car crazy and doesn't know it and racing COULD be her thing with us once she's around and sees what we're actually doing on a race weekend, but right now, it is something that she has absolutely no interest in and then some.
Anyway, she and my sister in law did turn on the Daytona 500 and they did watch long enough to pick out the Army car and root for him for a few laps. I was so impressed with that and touched by it..such a small gesture, such a simple thing...but it is just one example of the things she does every day for the people that she loves.
And she clipped all the newspaper clippings from the Dallas newspaper on the subject to send him.
I'm so proud of that boy I could just burst, and I love her so much and I love seeing how much joy they bring each other...grandmother and grandson...I know til my dying day, I will be thanking God for bringing this much love into my life.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Friday, February 23, 2007
Depressed
Yes, I'm there. It happens every winter, it seems. But, it's been this way for awhile now. But, hey, I'm finally to the point, that I'm ok with being depressed. And, soon as you reach that part of it, you start to climb out.
It used to bother me a lot when I knew I was depressed. Now, it doesn't. Partly because I've just learned to cope with it. I've changed the way I react to it as well. I tend to get tunnel visioned on the problem, finding the source of the depression so that I can do what I need to do to get the hell out of this place.
Dementors..how astute was JK Rowling with that little invention, eh? I used to recluse when I was depressed and I still do to an extent. I don't recluse from my family anymore and I'm more apt to just blurt out something that's been weighing on my mind and get input from those that I choose to have around me. That's a good thing, really.
I surround myself with humor as well. That's an ironic thing about being depressed, the flip side is that I can find humor in ANYTHING and I do mean anything but my humor is rather dark, so I keep it to myself for the most part. It's suppressing that ADD side that tends to blurt out whatever...well, not everyone shares my sense of humor. Very few do really.
Like, sitting there in the garage the other day. I was kind of congratulating myself on getting that far. Then it struck me. I haven't been so depressed that I won't put my teeth in. And, putting a little bit of makeup on every day does a LOT for my mood. It was oddly comforting to know that no matter how depressed I am, I have enough pride in myself to make sure my teeth are in every day. And, I shower every day. Hey, some people don't when they are depressed but there is just that little part of me that will not allow myself to sink that low.
Yeah, I might go back to bed after everyone leaves for a few hours, and I might blow a chore off or two but I refuse to sit around in my bathrobe or with no teeth or without a shower. No way. And that makes me feel better, too. Hey, whatever, so I didn't scrub the damn toilet today..it is not a crisis, ya know.
I don't blow my kids off. I tend to do the opposite when I'm depressed. Hey, they're happy and it rubs off. The other night me and the senior chief and the daughter drew a picture together and it was just loads of fun. She always draws a seasonal picture on the white board outside. She drew one and it just kind of grew. That's a whole other post in itself.
You know, and sitting here typing this and thinking about my peeps, I do feel a lot better. And, it's a racing weekend so I have a menu to plan.
Last week we had grilled pork tenderloin with grilled ribs, baked potatoes (on the grill) and a sumptuous salad. This week I got kind of lazy with my cooking, but I did make a really good chicken corn chowder. Oh and some fried chicken last night. My husband actually said out loud that he wished his mother would switch over to peanut oil. That stuff is good. That's how it works, though. Monday through Thursday I cook light. Friday, Saturday and Sunday, though I make a feast.
We have chores lined up this weekend as well. We ought to get done just in time for the race to start and that will be cool.
Hopefully the worst of it is over. Nice weather and hearing the birds singing in the morning helps. Knowing that I have to get up a half an hour earlier every morning...doesn't.
Maybe I'll play hooky one day next week. There is something about playing hooky isn't there??? And the funny thing is...everyone else in the family thinks I have it made..made in the shade...
It used to bother me a lot when I knew I was depressed. Now, it doesn't. Partly because I've just learned to cope with it. I've changed the way I react to it as well. I tend to get tunnel visioned on the problem, finding the source of the depression so that I can do what I need to do to get the hell out of this place.
Dementors..how astute was JK Rowling with that little invention, eh? I used to recluse when I was depressed and I still do to an extent. I don't recluse from my family anymore and I'm more apt to just blurt out something that's been weighing on my mind and get input from those that I choose to have around me. That's a good thing, really.
I surround myself with humor as well. That's an ironic thing about being depressed, the flip side is that I can find humor in ANYTHING and I do mean anything but my humor is rather dark, so I keep it to myself for the most part. It's suppressing that ADD side that tends to blurt out whatever...well, not everyone shares my sense of humor. Very few do really.
Like, sitting there in the garage the other day. I was kind of congratulating myself on getting that far. Then it struck me. I haven't been so depressed that I won't put my teeth in. And, putting a little bit of makeup on every day does a LOT for my mood. It was oddly comforting to know that no matter how depressed I am, I have enough pride in myself to make sure my teeth are in every day. And, I shower every day. Hey, some people don't when they are depressed but there is just that little part of me that will not allow myself to sink that low.
Yeah, I might go back to bed after everyone leaves for a few hours, and I might blow a chore off or two but I refuse to sit around in my bathrobe or with no teeth or without a shower. No way. And that makes me feel better, too. Hey, whatever, so I didn't scrub the damn toilet today..it is not a crisis, ya know.
I don't blow my kids off. I tend to do the opposite when I'm depressed. Hey, they're happy and it rubs off. The other night me and the senior chief and the daughter drew a picture together and it was just loads of fun. She always draws a seasonal picture on the white board outside. She drew one and it just kind of grew. That's a whole other post in itself.
You know, and sitting here typing this and thinking about my peeps, I do feel a lot better. And, it's a racing weekend so I have a menu to plan.
Last week we had grilled pork tenderloin with grilled ribs, baked potatoes (on the grill) and a sumptuous salad. This week I got kind of lazy with my cooking, but I did make a really good chicken corn chowder. Oh and some fried chicken last night. My husband actually said out loud that he wished his mother would switch over to peanut oil. That stuff is good. That's how it works, though. Monday through Thursday I cook light. Friday, Saturday and Sunday, though I make a feast.
We have chores lined up this weekend as well. We ought to get done just in time for the race to start and that will be cool.
Hopefully the worst of it is over. Nice weather and hearing the birds singing in the morning helps. Knowing that I have to get up a half an hour earlier every morning...doesn't.
Maybe I'll play hooky one day next week. There is something about playing hooky isn't there??? And the funny thing is...everyone else in the family thinks I have it made..made in the shade...
Thursday, February 22, 2007
The Secret
So, this is a hot new book out. A good example of what is represented would be the outcome of the Daytona 500.
You see, the story was told during the red flag, listening to the communications between the teams. Mark Martin told his team that he couldn't win it unless he had help. He was in first place. Kevin Harvick believed he could win it from 7th place.
We know the outcome. That is the secret at work. It's simple belief. When you believe, you find a way.
You see, the story was told during the red flag, listening to the communications between the teams. Mark Martin told his team that he couldn't win it unless he had help. He was in first place. Kevin Harvick believed he could win it from 7th place.
We know the outcome. That is the secret at work. It's simple belief. When you believe, you find a way.
Truth, Consequences, and Secrets
You know, I was thinking today about kids, as usual. The first thing we learn as parents is to let them fall down.
Discipline issues become a moot point whenever they are just expected to act a certain way. You know, it starts young. You don't want them sleeping with you all the time. The solution to this is simple. Put them in their own room from the day they get home. Zero tolerance. It isn't even a deal..they do not expect to be in their parents bed because it's never been that way.
Same goes with other issues. Wearing of the seatbelt. Hell, everybody has to wear a seatbelt and if it's always been that way, in their minds, then they are less likely to fight it.
You cannot be a hypocrite and be a parent. You cannot sit in your filthy room and tell them to clean theirs. Won't work. Just won't. You can whoop 'em and you can ground 'em all you want but as the parent you are the leader. They are going to do as you do, not as you say.
I don't whoop my kids. But, there are certain things expected of them and they are pretty willing to comply. Lately, my little dude has been giving me grief over the old homework deal. Not doing your homework is just not an option in my house. Don't even try to fight me about it. You'll lose. I am more stubborn and not too concerned about your privileges if you don't do your homework. You see, I passed the third grade. Oh, you want to do what? Is your homework done and your room clean? The answer to that determines the answer to YOUR question.
I also have no problems letting a kid learn by natural consequences. If I TELL you something is going to happen to you and you don't stop it...and it happens to you..well, do not come bitching to me. Seriously. Don't. You can come and ask me what you need to do now to get yourself out of the fix but don't cry to me that life or whatever is unfair. I TOLD you what was going to happen if you didn't stop it. The exception is life endangering behavior. I won't just tell a kid not to do something that's going to kill him or her and then stand back and do nothing else while they do that...no, I will shorten up the consequences in a case like that and the consequences in those situations involve professionals. Not afraid to call upon the professionals, either.
And that includes my reactions to things. Some things trip my trigger. If they don't want that response from me, then they are pretty sure what to do to prevent it in the future. Why? Because I TELL them. When I yell at my kids, I do not resort to name calling or labelling. Deal with the issue at hand and only the issue at hand. Just because they make a mistake, do NOT tell them, that they are a thief or a liar or whatever. There is a fine distinction between correcting behavior and breaking their spirits. You want them to be able to call upon the good in themselves and make better decisions. You make sure and go over with them what they SHOULD have done.
Man, I had one kid over here not too long ago that left my house when I was under the impression he was spending the night. I don't actually collect keys, but when I found out about this, his ass was standing at attention in front of me taking the ass chewing and the lightbulb did NOT come on until I said..."I understand that things happen and I would rather you woke me up in the middle of the night or whatever to give you a ride home." He looked at me and said "Really?" ..like he didn't even know that was an option. Kids are taught not to bother their elders, you see. I find that very sad as well. See, we tell our kids..don't do this and don't do that...but very rarely do we give them other options until they've made the wrong one. Tell them what you would rather they do instead. Something that is achievable for them. I also told the kid that if he did find himself interrupting my sleep for a ride because he screwed up, he could be assured of an ass chewing, of course...and you know, it's never been a problem again. If I expected him to be spending the night, then he was here in the morning.
I also expect that another one of them I deal with is saving his money and going to go and find a car and make payments. Some small foreign car that gets 80 miles per gallon or something.
You have a lot more credibility when you're not shutting the door in their face literally and figuratively. When you expect something out of your child...how does he know what the alternatives are? Did you tell him? Do you just expect him to know things?
Discipline issues become a moot point whenever they are just expected to act a certain way. You know, it starts young. You don't want them sleeping with you all the time. The solution to this is simple. Put them in their own room from the day they get home. Zero tolerance. It isn't even a deal..they do not expect to be in their parents bed because it's never been that way.
Same goes with other issues. Wearing of the seatbelt. Hell, everybody has to wear a seatbelt and if it's always been that way, in their minds, then they are less likely to fight it.
You cannot be a hypocrite and be a parent. You cannot sit in your filthy room and tell them to clean theirs. Won't work. Just won't. You can whoop 'em and you can ground 'em all you want but as the parent you are the leader. They are going to do as you do, not as you say.
I don't whoop my kids. But, there are certain things expected of them and they are pretty willing to comply. Lately, my little dude has been giving me grief over the old homework deal. Not doing your homework is just not an option in my house. Don't even try to fight me about it. You'll lose. I am more stubborn and not too concerned about your privileges if you don't do your homework. You see, I passed the third grade. Oh, you want to do what? Is your homework done and your room clean? The answer to that determines the answer to YOUR question.
I also have no problems letting a kid learn by natural consequences. If I TELL you something is going to happen to you and you don't stop it...and it happens to you..well, do not come bitching to me. Seriously. Don't. You can come and ask me what you need to do now to get yourself out of the fix but don't cry to me that life or whatever is unfair. I TOLD you what was going to happen if you didn't stop it. The exception is life endangering behavior. I won't just tell a kid not to do something that's going to kill him or her and then stand back and do nothing else while they do that...no, I will shorten up the consequences in a case like that and the consequences in those situations involve professionals. Not afraid to call upon the professionals, either.
And that includes my reactions to things. Some things trip my trigger. If they don't want that response from me, then they are pretty sure what to do to prevent it in the future. Why? Because I TELL them. When I yell at my kids, I do not resort to name calling or labelling. Deal with the issue at hand and only the issue at hand. Just because they make a mistake, do NOT tell them, that they are a thief or a liar or whatever. There is a fine distinction between correcting behavior and breaking their spirits. You want them to be able to call upon the good in themselves and make better decisions. You make sure and go over with them what they SHOULD have done.
Man, I had one kid over here not too long ago that left my house when I was under the impression he was spending the night. I don't actually collect keys, but when I found out about this, his ass was standing at attention in front of me taking the ass chewing and the lightbulb did NOT come on until I said..."I understand that things happen and I would rather you woke me up in the middle of the night or whatever to give you a ride home." He looked at me and said "Really?" ..like he didn't even know that was an option. Kids are taught not to bother their elders, you see. I find that very sad as well. See, we tell our kids..don't do this and don't do that...but very rarely do we give them other options until they've made the wrong one. Tell them what you would rather they do instead. Something that is achievable for them. I also told the kid that if he did find himself interrupting my sleep for a ride because he screwed up, he could be assured of an ass chewing, of course...and you know, it's never been a problem again. If I expected him to be spending the night, then he was here in the morning.
I also expect that another one of them I deal with is saving his money and going to go and find a car and make payments. Some small foreign car that gets 80 miles per gallon or something.
You have a lot more credibility when you're not shutting the door in their face literally and figuratively. When you expect something out of your child...how does he know what the alternatives are? Did you tell him? Do you just expect him to know things?
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Not Just Racing
Yes, I am a race fan and yes, I do tend to schedule myself around the races. But, you see, it's not JUST about the racing. It's mostly about the family time. The activity I choose to be at the center of family time is racing.
The racing isn't right without the people to watch it with nor is it right without the food that's cooked. This past weekend, though it was cold, we did grill out some pretty yummy stuff to eat while watching the race.
The race can also be put on the radio to be listened to while we engage in other activities in the near vicinity.
Music is equally as important and access to it from anywhere in the house. Just is.
All of my life, I wanted a family of my own. A family to spoil, a family that would come to me for comfort and where home was a safe haven. When my children are far away from home and they are lonesome, I want them to be able to call upon the comfort and safety of the sound of racecars going round and round with the smell of meat roasting on the grill, and the smells of whatever is accompanying coming out of the kitchen. I want them to associate home with laughter, happiness, acceptance and tradition.
Racing isn't MY tradition, it is the tradition of the family. It wasn't always so. It has grown to be so over the years. Somehow Saturday morning pancakes just didn't seem to be enough. It could have been anything else, really, that central activity, but it's not..and that's fine with me.
When I look back over weekends past, I feel like perhaps just maybe, I've broken the cycle of inadequecies, fears, and insecurities. Instead, into the fabric of our lives, the comforting sound of the racecars are woven instead.
The racing isn't right without the people to watch it with nor is it right without the food that's cooked. This past weekend, though it was cold, we did grill out some pretty yummy stuff to eat while watching the race.
The race can also be put on the radio to be listened to while we engage in other activities in the near vicinity.
Music is equally as important and access to it from anywhere in the house. Just is.
All of my life, I wanted a family of my own. A family to spoil, a family that would come to me for comfort and where home was a safe haven. When my children are far away from home and they are lonesome, I want them to be able to call upon the comfort and safety of the sound of racecars going round and round with the smell of meat roasting on the grill, and the smells of whatever is accompanying coming out of the kitchen. I want them to associate home with laughter, happiness, acceptance and tradition.
Racing isn't MY tradition, it is the tradition of the family. It wasn't always so. It has grown to be so over the years. Somehow Saturday morning pancakes just didn't seem to be enough. It could have been anything else, really, that central activity, but it's not..and that's fine with me.
When I look back over weekends past, I feel like perhaps just maybe, I've broken the cycle of inadequecies, fears, and insecurities. Instead, into the fabric of our lives, the comforting sound of the racecars are woven instead.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Gatorade Duels
So, it is officially racing season. Well, it was officially racing season for me when they ran the Rolex 24...but ..anyway, the dual Duels were awesome to watch.
Michael Waltrip...what more can be said. He's had such a bad damn week, I'm starting to feel sorry for him.
I do wish people would cease and desist with the wrecking of Jr. during these deals...jeez.
Was happy to see Tony Stewart pull off a win and I'll take Jeff Gordon over Kurt Busch any day.
Sure was hoping to see James Hylton make it in. Looked like he was going to for a minute or two.
All in all, very exciting!!! Too bad the senior chief had to miss it.
Michael Waltrip...what more can be said. He's had such a bad damn week, I'm starting to feel sorry for him.
I do wish people would cease and desist with the wrecking of Jr. during these deals...jeez.
Was happy to see Tony Stewart pull off a win and I'll take Jeff Gordon over Kurt Busch any day.
Sure was hoping to see James Hylton make it in. Looked like he was going to for a minute or two.
All in all, very exciting!!! Too bad the senior chief had to miss it.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Valentine's Day
I told the senior chief this morning that the best part of being married is always having a date on Valentine's day and always having a date for Sat. night. Not that Valentine's Day has ever been that big a deal but, hey, when you're married, any excuse to "do it" (haha) will do.
So, we figure this year, instead of skipping it altogether, we'll just try and drag it out til' Sat. night. How cool is that? So, we have a new thing or two planned for every night with the grand finale being Sat.
I always get the younger ones a valentine too. My little son wants to suck up to his teacher this year, so he made me get a stuffed animal. Haha, what a hoot that one is. He already knows how to work those baby blues, boy howdy. When I tell people some of the things this child gets up to, I always get disbelief. He's so SWEET, they say. Yep. Sure is.
I sure hope everyone else is going to have as much fun as I am. I think the senior chief is going to get me likkered up and then take advantage of me. Woo Hoo!! I need some of that! Too much mommying lately and not enough wifing makes for a very cranky girl.
Happy Valentine's Day!
So, we figure this year, instead of skipping it altogether, we'll just try and drag it out til' Sat. night. How cool is that? So, we have a new thing or two planned for every night with the grand finale being Sat.
I always get the younger ones a valentine too. My little son wants to suck up to his teacher this year, so he made me get a stuffed animal. Haha, what a hoot that one is. He already knows how to work those baby blues, boy howdy. When I tell people some of the things this child gets up to, I always get disbelief. He's so SWEET, they say. Yep. Sure is.
I sure hope everyone else is going to have as much fun as I am. I think the senior chief is going to get me likkered up and then take advantage of me. Woo Hoo!! I need some of that! Too much mommying lately and not enough wifing makes for a very cranky girl.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Monday, February 12, 2007
Reisling
So, to kick my culinary skills up a notch, I have been trying to familiarize myself with different kinds of wines. The senior chief picks a new one every week, based upon the menu that I have laid out and we try something new.
This weekend, he got a bottle of reisling, and it kicked my ASS. Wow. I should have known that it was going to do that but somehow, I just didn't.
So, a few glasses in, I drunk dialed my mother in law. Oh, yes I did. It's cool if you call at that happy point, right? And, I always do...She had just gotten in from shopping and I asked her if she shopped them til they dropped and she said, "Well, I don't get to go shopping that often." I had to laugh because man this woman is 84 years old, but she has got so much energy that she has worn my young ass out on more than one occasion shopping and then come home, take a little rest and then be up cooking supper. I'm telling ya, I hope I'm like that when I'm her age and damn you don't DARE say you're tired cuz she'll look at you and say, "What, you're going to let an 84 year old woman outwork you?" I know a couple of my kids have gotten that from her. I always snicker. Because it's true.
But, damn, sometimes she needs a nap. When I'm there, everybody gets a damn nap in the afternoon. She sits in her chair and watches her shows and the little ones watch a movie and rest and whatever, there is some down time.
I rather suspected that those women were indulging in a glass or two themselves after the marathon shopping expedition. Man, I love my husband's people, I really do. It's always good to hear Mom laughing, even at 84, when she laughs and smiles she is just so beautiful. She doesn't think she is, but she is.
But after that, the wine kicked my ass. The last real thing I remember is Tony Stewart winning the Shootout.
Pretty good weekend.
This weekend, he got a bottle of reisling, and it kicked my ASS. Wow. I should have known that it was going to do that but somehow, I just didn't.
So, a few glasses in, I drunk dialed my mother in law. Oh, yes I did. It's cool if you call at that happy point, right? And, I always do...She had just gotten in from shopping and I asked her if she shopped them til they dropped and she said, "Well, I don't get to go shopping that often." I had to laugh because man this woman is 84 years old, but she has got so much energy that she has worn my young ass out on more than one occasion shopping and then come home, take a little rest and then be up cooking supper. I'm telling ya, I hope I'm like that when I'm her age and damn you don't DARE say you're tired cuz she'll look at you and say, "What, you're going to let an 84 year old woman outwork you?" I know a couple of my kids have gotten that from her. I always snicker. Because it's true.
But, damn, sometimes she needs a nap. When I'm there, everybody gets a damn nap in the afternoon. She sits in her chair and watches her shows and the little ones watch a movie and rest and whatever, there is some down time.
I rather suspected that those women were indulging in a glass or two themselves after the marathon shopping expedition. Man, I love my husband's people, I really do. It's always good to hear Mom laughing, even at 84, when she laughs and smiles she is just so beautiful. She doesn't think she is, but she is.
But after that, the wine kicked my ass. The last real thing I remember is Tony Stewart winning the Shootout.
Pretty good weekend.
Friday, February 02, 2007
Lipstick
I had forgotten how I liked my makeup, lipstick in particular. I've been experimenting with different colors. The senior chief tried to suggest that I choose, um, more muted colors, but I grinned and told him that I had lips that some celebrities paid a lot of money to have botoxed so you're damn right I'm going to show them off any way I please.
But, I did see his point, but that's the whole point in experimentation. How do women know when they've found the right shade of lipstick? Well, when we look in the mirror and conceive of this very romantic scene involving wine, the beach, wind, and roses, of course, just to set the mood and there's flowing curtains, and dresses and you both are wearing clothes totally inappropriate for walking on the beach. Hey, whatever, that's why they call it a fantasy.
Men's fantasies are much simpler and to the point.
But you KNOW you've got the right shade when your man looks at ya and says, "Hey baby, I sure can imagine those lips wrapped around my...."
But, I did see his point, but that's the whole point in experimentation. How do women know when they've found the right shade of lipstick? Well, when we look in the mirror and conceive of this very romantic scene involving wine, the beach, wind, and roses, of course, just to set the mood and there's flowing curtains, and dresses and you both are wearing clothes totally inappropriate for walking on the beach. Hey, whatever, that's why they call it a fantasy.
Men's fantasies are much simpler and to the point.
But you KNOW you've got the right shade when your man looks at ya and says, "Hey baby, I sure can imagine those lips wrapped around my...."
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