Training...is Everything...

I learned this concept in the military. And, the United States Military...I do not care which branch...is a study of how to learn from your past mistakes.

As well, I'd like to think that it evolved into a machine that can ...predict... future mistakes based upon the past ones. You know what the military learned from how they were treated coming home from Viet Nam? Don't listen. It's all blah, blah, blah, to them. They soldier on, despite all these people bitching and doubting. I'm so very proud of our active duty right now, I could burst.

I learned A LOT in the military and I am happy to remember those times, now. Time fades the bitter memories and leaves only the best.

I have no doubt in my mind that if we aren't there...wherever there is...either providing mediation or whatever ...help... we can, then "they" will come here. My faith in this is unwaverable. I've seen the machine in action. It's a powerful machine.

The biggest thing I learned in the Navy, and from several different arenas...is that training is everything. You train like it's real, but you get a do-over to apply the training.

I treat my kids like that. I love the 19+ age group, it's easy to relate to them. Well, easiest to affect a change anyway, let's put it that way. This is what us who have been in the military understand. When the rest of the world has given up hope on a young lady or young man, the military always gives them an opportunity for a clean slate. Well, they get that at my house too.

It doesn't matter who they are exactly. The focus is more on who they want to be, what obstacles lie in the way of that achievement and the next tasks to overcome those obstacles. If you find yourself having the same problem over and over, then it's time to rethink your approach.

What we always do is put things in a practical atmosphere for them. Training, that is. They get a little explanation...classroom instruction... and the goals of the course or whatever...and then we put them through the practical part. They know it's just a test, and unlike in the military, it isn't served with derision..they know they are being instructed.

Psychology calls it role playing. I call it teaching with a multitude of learning styles in mind. It's all just terminology in the end. I guess role playing uses fewer words. Anyway, we do this for our kids. Set up scenarios in which they understand what the lesson was supposed to be from the outset and then roleplayed with them.

They were usually chosen to be the opposite person. The person they feel is doing them wrong, or the person they are intimidated by...whatever. Sometimes, they have to play themselves and one of us has to play the other. Those times are always best approached with caution. Gentle probing is called for in these scenarios. A trigger sentence only....is as far as it can go, and then you spend the rest of the time identifying exact emotions that go with things, and then, you have a "perspective" follow up talk with a summary of your findings.

I have one, who shall remain nameless, who has been accused of DUI twice. Neither time was it an accurate charge. I know this because I am the primary lawyer after the facts and the facts only and will use any bit of information to my advantage when forming an opinion. Without getting into details, he has had to hire a lawyer twice to get justice. Real justice. She's a good gal, too. I would recommend her in a minute to anybody. She's a bitch and she's fearsome when pissed. EXCELLENT!

Now that I have a professional dealing with that part of it, I can deal with the MOM part of it...what the hell keeps getting him into these situation? And, getting ahold of the whole actual police report was helpful. It's good to see that written report that is filed after the incident. I learned a lot from that, believe it or not.

I know my kids. I know what they are capable of, what they are likely to do, whether or not they are lying...all of that. I know my kids.

The answer to the situation at hand is a ...pull over drill... as it were. Hell, we all get pulled over shortly after getting our driver's licenses. We all know this. They might as well just put a rookie stripe on the back of new driver's cars. It ought to be required for the first year at least. They make rookie mistakes and it doesn't help when a bored/extra gung ho/rookie cop....is the one that gets him and there's a fair few amount of those in this area. Hey, I have not a thing against cops. I like them, as a matter of fact. I haven't had a real bad experience with a cop, personally. I also did a lot of studying in my Navy time to become a cop. I put some hard work into a cross rate before fate intervened, so I understand a lot about "cop" thinking. Sure as hell enough to understand what this sweet kid of mine is doing to tweak the red flags on a cop and to do a little practical training to ensure the kid knows how to answer the question being asked ..period.

Jeez, we went to court today and they cop behind the metal detector asked us a ...courtesty question..."Do you know where you are going today?" Correct answer..."Yes sir, thank you." Him..Well sir, I am being charged with such and such, and my lawyer is so and so and ....it was definitely a case of TMI. Good Lord, kid....

And his lawyer...pissed off enough at someone to take it to a jury trial... DAYUM! HELL YEAH! And then...OMG...imagining him in front of a jury....well, that made me think of this whole post. Boy needs some training if it has to go that way. Needs some anyway. On it.

And that right there....yeah...I know I rock as a mom. I don't feel that often. But, see, half the battle is understanding how much influence you have over that age group and how to use that influence. And, this is where, if you just spank ...immediately, and decide that teenagers suck...you have already lost the battle. If you develop your kids in a .... safe.... atmosphere...one in which they know they are loved, anyway, then you can do the roleplaying/life training...and they will ...get it. They will. But if you just rely on physical size and spanking during those formative years, then you will have a real battle on your hands when they get this age. And they still need you when they are going through their 20's and 30's.

In my estimation, that is the age that you have the MOST influence, besides those formative years. A second chance, if you will.. Use it wisely, and remember..training is everything.

Just Damn Hot

It is. It's just hotter than hell out there. My air is broke and it's just damn hot. Tempers are flaring, and it's just hot. On the flip side, my electric bill is just fine by me. I love not running the air from that point of view.

I had reason to just be absolutely grateful for having so many kids today. Because, when you only have two..you have a youngest and an oldest and they are going to go at each other. Getting just two kids to be buddies, is hard. When you have THREE kids, then someone has to be in the middle of the youngest and the oldest person fighting. When you have FOUR kids, they trade off. You have a youngest and an oldest that are going to fight and two kids in between to share the duties of the middle child, therefore giving each of them a chance to shine. When you have 5 kids, you have a middle child, but he's stuck doing the duty of the other 4 that are fighting. When you have SIX children, and I think that is quite enough thank you...you have everybody fighting with everybody, pretty much....LOL! But you do still have the eldest child/youngest child battle.

And you have more middle children to mediate those battles. That is assuming that you have all the same sex. When you have that opposite sex thing going on, that just changes the equation even more.

All I know is that I'm damned hot, burned out, and ready for school to start already. I am also damned hot, burned out and ready for the rest to go to work. I'm also damned hot, burned out and ready for a damn vacation, which I do not forsee in the very near future.

My car broke...so I've been stuck at home with a bunch of bickering kids and I'm damned hot, burned out, and want to go to the damn air conditioned grocery store for just a few minutes and a damn bottle of wine. I mean, I love my beer, but, I'm ready to switch.

Anyway, I'm just damned hot, burned out, stuck at home and sick of my kids. And the senior chief wears thin on my nerves some days, as well.

And getting air conditioning will not help. I want my car. Hell, A car. This really upsets the senior chief, and he is doing all that he can as a human to rectify this, he is. But, shit keeps happening and I'm sick of IT...not him...you know? He's sick of it...not me, as well....but it's just damned hot. Sometimes people sink into their primal states and just want what they want.

Thank God for the electric bill being so low! And thank God for all the beautiful people that cross your path and just have something cool to say.

Special Times

There are special times with your kids...times where they understand that you do understand. I think that is the cause of the communication breakdown, in some ways. Somebody thinks somebody else doesn't understand. But when you meet in an unexpected place, a new kind of relationship begins to form.

My daughter, and I assure you ...she is mine... made her own email address, signed herself up for ALL the social networks... honey, she's savvy. But, being a good mom, I was one step ahead of her, or maybe I led her...her seeing how much fun me and the senior chief were having in the garage....anyway, this is what she did. You know what's cool about it? She talks to me any time I log on any where. And her whole profile blew my mind.

You see, she was a bit sneaky. However, I have the "kids" computer in an area where I can monitor it from most anywhere...and especially from the kitchen. So, I noticed all this and one day booted her out of MY leather chair...(dammit) and just added all the family I knew as friends. She was all...aghast...."IIIII didn't know so and so was there...etc." And my response:


*****drumroll******


"If you hadn't been so damn sneaky, you would have know EEEEOOOONS ago."

Her reply???


*sheepish look* a little toe kick to the ground, reminiscent of Mark Twain's Tom ....and a grin, also reminiscent.

And that ....works every time. Those are the looks you are looking for. You just have to break the communication barrier. Our kids keep us hip...it's just fine and dandy by me.

Ringer!

Somebody was happy they threw that set of shoes, let me tell ya! It's all about good times around here, mostly.

We had a nice time yesterday. Our country's birth. How cool is that. I reread the appropriate documents, and found a few inspirational quotes, which I micro blogged off and on all day long.

We cooked some awesome food and I promised someone a show of what a "real" grill master does...(hehe)..but alas, none of my pictures turned out. I think I can blame it on the beer, fairly safely.

Before we drank beer, though, me and the number three son had a discussion about ammo, and fired a few rounds off with our collective pistols. Much fun, that, I assure you.

Number 6 son only has a soft shooter..you know the little plastic bb gun that shoots the plastic bb's? Still he managed to graze himself and we had the lecture about ...do NOT shoot your eye out, dammit son!

Number 4 son invited some people from his church over to visit and eat.

Number one son was all worried about something he lost. Something I confiscated and smoked. Ha! Hey, ya leave it laying around, you get what you get. I'm not sorry after I heard the story about how he and his firefighter friend nearly exploded my house the other night.

I mean, hey, that's a far damn cry from catching some bacon on fire, seriously.

The DOG did it. Come on these guys are 25 freaking years old now and they still can't come up with a better excuse than the DOG did it? Give me a break! And, they can only have so much damn luck. It better the hell not run out over at my house. And I TOLD them..."Ya'll better make EXTRA sure you don't burn my house down tonight." They did not make EXTRA sure, you can bank on that.

He tells me this story and leaves. Boy better replace the damn gas can for sure, or his little brother is going to kick his ass. And, know what I'm going to be doing? Standing on the sidelines, taking bets.

I'm damn glad that it's just a good story about what "could" have happened.

And the senior chief often wonders why I can never sleep and why I never relax.

CONSTANT VIGILANCE!!!!

I was supposed to go to Texas but my car said..."Not only no, but HELL no." Poor baby needed some love. And besides, Army boy was only going to be there for a matter of hours and that would have upset the little ones more than not seeing him at all. At least this way, they got to have a real good time.

We did a pinata, and had some tiki torches. They got to camp out in the tent in the backyard and generally just have a good time.

You know, the older I get, the mellower I get, somehow. I should have kicked some ass for that last story, but I just take it all in now. Maybe I'm numb. Maybe I've learned to worry about things that really are happening instead of the ones that didn't. I'm glad he had the courage to confess, really.

Whatever, is what it boils down to. A little thank you prayer, a little words of wisdom for later....I mean, they know they do wrong..they just kind of wait for you to put it into perspective for them. Most of the time they are way harder on themselves than you would be, if they weren't so damn secretive.

I hooked my daughter up with all kinds of friends and family on her social networking account the other day. She's saying to me..."I didn't know so and so had an account..." I told her if she wasn't so damn sneaky, she would have known a long time ago. She giggled like she does when she knows I'm right.

So, all in all...good holidays. Tuned in to the news, but that's not where I choose to let my attention dwell. I have to keep the family bolstered, so I cannot afford to get bogged down by...all the negative crap out in the world. Mommies...and wives...they point out the obvious positives...while remaining realistic about the negatives. As long as we have half a plan, it's good with the guys....my guys anyway. They see Armageddon happening...they aren't scared. Because I'm not scared. So what...bring it. We'll survive. It's the laws of nature.

So will you, too, survive, should you so decide. As long as people know..you cannot do it alone. That is what people have forgotten, maybe in this day and age.

You cannot do anything much...alone....however, a good team, can accomplish miracles. Especially...a free thinking team. I would say, make sure you build your team, in this day and age.

And remember...it's all about freedom and liberty for the whole world. My favorite quote that I ran across yesterday is this...

“Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, to assure the survival and success of liberty.” John Fitzgerald Kennedy.

Wednesday Parties...

Heh. That's the beauty of being in business for yourself. Wednesday parties.

Got one over tonight...one of the crowd, one of the ones that comes around every so often. He had this gorgeous long hair. I mean, it was hair a girl would kill for hair...Long and auburn and curly...and long ....and beautiful. He never brought it out to show it off too often. Mostly, he kept it all up under a hat. If you asked, though, he'd take his hat off and let you touch it. Heh! I mean, his hair rather defined him. Wish I had a picture of it.

He cut it all off. Every single lock. Gone. Why? To become a fire fighter, and he's proud of what he does, let me tell ya! He said when Army boy came to visit in the middle of his tour that that is what he wanted to do...and he did. It took 2 years to get it done and as I understand it, he overcame some obstacles over the way...but he did it.

I'm proud. I know, he's not mine, and I'm sure I didn't have much to do with it, but I'm still glad to see him, and glad to know he's happy, and proud of him for finding his dream and getting to live it.