School Sucks

That's what my daughter tells me anyway. My littlest son, too, but he would always have rathered stay at home then go to school. He's been begging me for a year to home school him.

My daughter, however, has always LOVED school. I can remember her getting mad, throwing a crying hissy fit, and slamming her door because I decided she was too sick to go to school.

This year..not so much. She says since a few of the key personnel are not here this year, that the school is really not fun to go to. She says there are more arrests, more gangs, more violence and a lot of people are afraid to go to school.

Yesterday, she had a pms panic attack and wound up going to the counselor at school. She told the counselor she was having suicidal thoughts. The counselor asked her how she would do it and she said she'd just grab a gun. We don't have any guns for her to grab, thankfully, and she knows that. She also doesn't know anybody else who has a gun. According to the counselor though, that constituted a plan.

I thought to myself, that's no damn plan.

I talked with my daughter extensively last night and this evening and it was my assessment that she had a pms induced panic attack. I questioned her in depth about her feelings and she reported that it was more of a feeling of wanting to die and things to be better but that she was too chicken to actually do it herself.

She also got a hug and a talk from her beloved Daddy. This morning she said she felt much better. Yay.

Around 9am I get a call from the school telling me that I MUST take her over to the psychiatric clinic or they are going to call the social workers and tell them I'm neglectful. WTF? Get the hell out.

I took her..and he said she is pretty much fine. Totally didn't listen to any of the stuff she said about the school sucking now. Just blew it off. He said she could probably do well with talking to a counselor on a semi regular basis for just a little while, anyway. He totally blew me off when it came to the pms thing.

Idiots all of them.

PMDD is hereditary and since I have it, and she's experiencing some of the same symptoms as I am, it goes to reason that this is more of a medical condition than a psychiatric condition.

Anyway, I am pissed off that the school had the audacity to tell me how to take care of my child. Instead of being able to get her in to her regular doctor, we had to waste 2 days dealing with counselors who are worthless, in my opinion.

I wish there were someplace other than here that I could complain and do something about it. It's the biggest bunch of bullshit I've ever had to deal with.

PTSD

With it being war-time and all, those initials and that disorder is talked about a lot.

There are some that think it's bullshit and there are those that know it's real. And it is real.

Trust me.

It's a sneaky thing that happens. You spend all of your energy trying to just get beyond what has happened...to not dwell on it. Then when you finally get there, say all curled up on the couch getting ready to watch a movie, BAM! It hits you and you're hurled back through time and space and having your own personal Groundhog Day.

It tends to suck after a time.

I don't know how long it takes to go away, or recede into the background a bit. I cannot imagine being a soldier and being bombarded day in and day out living in constant fear.

Why the hell would anyone deny the existence of such a disorder? I mean, really? It's not that hard to fathom. When something extremely traumatic happens, you are flooded with adrenaline and I personally believe that it sends your body into a state where it's trying to overcompensate for that much adrenaline. And then, that causes adrenaline to pump even more. It can become a vicious circle.

What to do about it becomes the question. First of all, it helps to have people you've gone through it with. In my case, that means the senior chief, the girlkid, and the one who was actually traumatized. I mean, the others knew about it pretty quick, but being here for the actual event was different than just hearing about it.

So, we talk about it every so often. Spur of the moment. They aren't shy..any of them...and that helps. So far, that's all I've got. I'm grateful to be able to put into words any of this.