I'm so glad it's come around to my turn to drive the hot rod again. Boy, did I miss that baby.
The first vehicle that went tits up was the van my husband got after he got divorced. It was a totally wierd deal..spun a bearing at 52,000 miles. We figured out later that though the rest of the van was beefed up to tow, the engine wasn't. Something about having 2 bolts instead of 4. Anyway, we towed the boat all the way back from Texas with it and found out. Oops. At that time, we had a little Ford Ranger that I brought to the table. We traded it in on a mini-van..ugh. When the lease was up on the mini van I was convinced that I never wanted to drive another Dodge and I am not a mini van kind of gal.
So, we saw the hot rod for sale and went and got it. The kids were PISSED at us. How are we going to all fit in it to go to church, one asks me. Like we had ever all crammed into a vehicle before and went to church..LOL..except in Texas. I guess we've kind of got spoiled by the church in Texas. Anyway, I thought if the kids were that upset, then the parents would certainly think we were irresponsible, right? So, I just neglected to mention what type car it was. I just called it the "little car". Not too long after that we picked up the station wagon for a song and man, that has been a good car, too.
So, when we showed up in Texas with the station wagon and the camaro, my in-laws had a completely different reaction than I thought they were going to have. My mom in law poked me in the ribs and said if she was my age, she'd sure like to have a little car like that and grinned.
My father in law started reminiscing about a certain Z28 my husband had. Apparently, when he tranferred, he couldn't take the car for whatever reason and asked my father in law to sell it for him. My father in law, according to the story, put a teeny tiny for sale sign in the back of it and drove it for a couple of months. Apparently, he really liked that car too.
The car was more than that, though. I guess my husband felt the need for speed at a young age, and always had a hot rod to be tinkering on. Until after the divorce. Then he had a corvette that something happened to and he never got another hot rod. Until this baby. So, what it meant to my in-laws to see him with another hot rod, was that he was finally healed and going to be ok and that I was really, truly THE one, after all.
Apparently, his cousin had never seen the car and when we visited in June, he said...Who's car is THAT? And, I blurted out...MINE! He gave me a quizzical look, and I had to hang my head and say, "Well, it's his..but he let's me drive it." He grinned big and let me slide.
I just find it strange that one car could mean so many different things, or symbolize so many different things to so many different people..and all of it good. One car has brought so much joy into the lives of so many people. How wierd is that?
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
So, I'm Still a Woman
And as such, I am entitled to ..I dunno...misperceive things, get a little insecure...all of that. For the most part, I'm a pretty secure person.
The person my eldest son doesn't love...is himself.
His actions are not designed to hurt me or his father or any of the rest of us..on purpose. They do because we hate to see him in pain, but they aren't motivated by not loving us.
Besides, I just asked him the other night. I said..Hey, kid..do you love me or what??? And he looked me right square in the eye and said..Yes, I do. And then he gave me a hug. I cried like a baby, too.
Shoot, he could kind of make the same case about me not loving him, as I made for him not loving me. What kind of mother who loves her children tries to commit suicide, right?
He's got a job waiting for him in Colorado when he gets there and that's a real good thing. No matter what, this kid has always had an excellent work ethic. There's a lot good about him. I only hope that he gets to see the good soon.
Sometimes I gotta realize that the world does not revolve around me. People's actions aren't always motivated by what my reaction might be.
Sometimes, he's funny..when he wants to know something, he'll make his best friend, one who calls me mom too and thinks of me as his mother...ask me. So the kid asked me the other night what the 'rest of the family thought'...and my eldest was watching my eyes for the truth in a big way..and I told him...they aren't a bunch of haters. They want to see him stop wrecking his trucks, and certainly not drink and drive anymore..but they love him, they will always love him.
He says he's had the opportunity to move there before, but there was always something holding him back. I guess...us, mainly. As I've said before..the formative years were rough for him. His mother was horrible and he has a deep, deep mistrust of women. But, I know he trusts me..or the outcome of the accident would have been different. Part of the reason he feels like now is the time is because we are going to be moving also. And, ya know, my niece is awfully lonely in Colorado, so it may be good for her, too. On that, we can only pray.
But, he doesn't really love himself, I believe and the only way for that to change is for him to change his actions and be able to review his life and see things that he loves about himself. We all have to do that.
But, not love me...I was outta my mind when I wrote that.
The person my eldest son doesn't love...is himself.
His actions are not designed to hurt me or his father or any of the rest of us..on purpose. They do because we hate to see him in pain, but they aren't motivated by not loving us.
Besides, I just asked him the other night. I said..Hey, kid..do you love me or what??? And he looked me right square in the eye and said..Yes, I do. And then he gave me a hug. I cried like a baby, too.
Shoot, he could kind of make the same case about me not loving him, as I made for him not loving me. What kind of mother who loves her children tries to commit suicide, right?
He's got a job waiting for him in Colorado when he gets there and that's a real good thing. No matter what, this kid has always had an excellent work ethic. There's a lot good about him. I only hope that he gets to see the good soon.
Sometimes I gotta realize that the world does not revolve around me. People's actions aren't always motivated by what my reaction might be.
Sometimes, he's funny..when he wants to know something, he'll make his best friend, one who calls me mom too and thinks of me as his mother...ask me. So the kid asked me the other night what the 'rest of the family thought'...and my eldest was watching my eyes for the truth in a big way..and I told him...they aren't a bunch of haters. They want to see him stop wrecking his trucks, and certainly not drink and drive anymore..but they love him, they will always love him.
He says he's had the opportunity to move there before, but there was always something holding him back. I guess...us, mainly. As I've said before..the formative years were rough for him. His mother was horrible and he has a deep, deep mistrust of women. But, I know he trusts me..or the outcome of the accident would have been different. Part of the reason he feels like now is the time is because we are going to be moving also. And, ya know, my niece is awfully lonely in Colorado, so it may be good for her, too. On that, we can only pray.
But, he doesn't really love himself, I believe and the only way for that to change is for him to change his actions and be able to review his life and see things that he loves about himself. We all have to do that.
But, not love me...I was outta my mind when I wrote that.
Bedtime Stories
We like to read in this house. Well, my youngest 3 do. The older boys are more into magazine type reading, but the younger 3 are into novels.
Recently, the little ones have been reading the Harry Potter books because they were so disappointed with the fourth movie and so confused, they wanted to know. But, when I started reading the fourth book to them, they got even more confused and so decided to start with the very first book.
The other night, the husband and I were laying in bed reading before sleeping, as we do pretty much every night when the little dude BURSTS into the bedroom, absolutely indignant and outraged because...
There was a CUSS word in his book. Who wrote that cuss word? The AUTHOR??? WHY would she do that??? (the word was damn, by the way...as in no more damn owls)
And, WHY are the Dursleys so mean to Harry? That's just not right. I'm glad you aren't mean to us like that, Mommy.
Too bad they can't stay this innocent forever.
Recently, the little ones have been reading the Harry Potter books because they were so disappointed with the fourth movie and so confused, they wanted to know. But, when I started reading the fourth book to them, they got even more confused and so decided to start with the very first book.
The other night, the husband and I were laying in bed reading before sleeping, as we do pretty much every night when the little dude BURSTS into the bedroom, absolutely indignant and outraged because...
There was a CUSS word in his book. Who wrote that cuss word? The AUTHOR??? WHY would she do that??? (the word was damn, by the way...as in no more damn owls)
And, WHY are the Dursleys so mean to Harry? That's just not right. I'm glad you aren't mean to us like that, Mommy.
Too bad they can't stay this innocent forever.
Monday, August 28, 2006
Perspective
Perspective, it's a funny thing, isn't it? Now that I've had some time to settle my thoughts and see things from an all around view, I am a lot more comfortable with my eldest moving.
I've said it over and over again the last year. And everybody knows it. He needs to be on his own. And, some kids need to do it without the safety net. He needs to kill his own demons. I guess we, as parents, get caught up in the sorrow that they even have demons to kill, ya know? But, it is what it is. He has to do what he has to do in order to be a man. And, I can respect that a lot. At least he's doing something different. Change is the harbinger of good, in my opinion.
I, personally, hate change with all my heart. I recognize it's necessity in the world and the fact that the adaptable ..well, the adaptable live. But I don't like it. Don't like cleaning the toilets either, but hey, it's gotta be done.
Being a stepparent brings with it a certain amount of uncertainty and insecurity. I never made loving me a requirement for my stepkids. That wasn't part of the deal. They did not have to love me. I loved them..always..and I always will but they didn't have to love me back. They do, though, and even my oldest. I know this. I really do. It would be cool to hear him say it one day, but he probably won't. But, that's cool, too. He doesn't have to. He just has to be happy. He needs to find himself. In a lot of ways, I really and truly do understand what he's going through. I wish I could save him some pain, but apparently, I can't. Part of it is that he isn't far sighted enough to be able to see ALL the possible consequences to his actions...and that's the folly of youth. But, he does love me, I do know that. And, more importantly, he trusts me. And that means a lot. I truly believe that with time, the relationship that we have with our eldest will become what it could be. I just hope he can keep himself alive until that day.
All of this brings something to mind, though. Something that would save many a youth who had lost his way. A rite of passage. Other cultures have them. A defining moment in a young man's life where he is pronounced a man, and the expectations thereof are laid out to him. After a test of his manhood, of course. The rite of passage should not be moving out of your parent's house, in my opinion. That should happen because the kid is ALREADY a man and he is finally tutored enough and prepared to enter the world at a certain age. I think the women need one too. What it should be, I have no idea..but a rite of passage needs to be incorporated into the American culture, I do believe.
I've said it over and over again the last year. And everybody knows it. He needs to be on his own. And, some kids need to do it without the safety net. He needs to kill his own demons. I guess we, as parents, get caught up in the sorrow that they even have demons to kill, ya know? But, it is what it is. He has to do what he has to do in order to be a man. And, I can respect that a lot. At least he's doing something different. Change is the harbinger of good, in my opinion.
I, personally, hate change with all my heart. I recognize it's necessity in the world and the fact that the adaptable ..well, the adaptable live. But I don't like it. Don't like cleaning the toilets either, but hey, it's gotta be done.
Being a stepparent brings with it a certain amount of uncertainty and insecurity. I never made loving me a requirement for my stepkids. That wasn't part of the deal. They did not have to love me. I loved them..always..and I always will but they didn't have to love me back. They do, though, and even my oldest. I know this. I really do. It would be cool to hear him say it one day, but he probably won't. But, that's cool, too. He doesn't have to. He just has to be happy. He needs to find himself. In a lot of ways, I really and truly do understand what he's going through. I wish I could save him some pain, but apparently, I can't. Part of it is that he isn't far sighted enough to be able to see ALL the possible consequences to his actions...and that's the folly of youth. But, he does love me, I do know that. And, more importantly, he trusts me. And that means a lot. I truly believe that with time, the relationship that we have with our eldest will become what it could be. I just hope he can keep himself alive until that day.
All of this brings something to mind, though. Something that would save many a youth who had lost his way. A rite of passage. Other cultures have them. A defining moment in a young man's life where he is pronounced a man, and the expectations thereof are laid out to him. After a test of his manhood, of course. The rite of passage should not be moving out of your parent's house, in my opinion. That should happen because the kid is ALREADY a man and he is finally tutored enough and prepared to enter the world at a certain age. I think the women need one too. What it should be, I have no idea..but a rite of passage needs to be incorporated into the American culture, I do believe.
Friday, August 25, 2006
Finally.
The boy decided to move. He's moving to Colorado. My gut tells me no good can come of this but there is a little part that is whispering that maybe, just maybe, it will work. Either way, he'll be on his own.
There is a sense of relief and a sense of dread. Man, being a stepmom sucks because everybody watches your every reaction and word and thought to construe it as being an 'evil stepmom' thing. All I can say is I looked the boy in the eyes and told him I loved him and he looked right back at me and said 'I know'. He'll never in a million years know how bad that hurts.
I never made loving me a requirement for them. I just hoped it would come. And it has with all the others. But this one. Well, you've heard just a few stories. I guess the most painful part of this for me is the shattering of illusions. I always believed that he loved me, despite it all. But, I guess the truth of the matter is that he didn't. I have only his actions and words to go by to make this assessment. You know, sometimes the truth really hurts.
There is a sense of relief and a sense of dread. Man, being a stepmom sucks because everybody watches your every reaction and word and thought to construe it as being an 'evil stepmom' thing. All I can say is I looked the boy in the eyes and told him I loved him and he looked right back at me and said 'I know'. He'll never in a million years know how bad that hurts.
I never made loving me a requirement for them. I just hoped it would come. And it has with all the others. But this one. Well, you've heard just a few stories. I guess the most painful part of this for me is the shattering of illusions. I always believed that he loved me, despite it all. But, I guess the truth of the matter is that he didn't. I have only his actions and words to go by to make this assessment. You know, sometimes the truth really hurts.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Tuesday??
My days begin to run together after awhile if I don't make a concerted effort to pay attention to them. It's a lot easier when the kids are in school because I have to sign their little agendas every day. Those agenda things are very cool. I had my four boys use them when they were younger and still in school. Well, the fourth one is still in school, but a junior. Anyway, they help if you use them correctly.
It's because I'm always thinking. Never, ever is my mind just a blank. It is sometimes hard to corral those thoughts and pick the right one to pay attention to, but hey, I'd rather have that problem than not having enough thoughts. Is that possible, even???
So, my oldest kid is forced to walk home from work now. It's 8 miles. But, I am not allowed to know this. He calls US and tells us he's working late. Now, this to me seems just plain assed stupid. Why in the hell would you lie about something like that???? And, I have to protect the identity of my informant lest I compromise my source. That's important. But, my informant is getting the brunt of all these little quandaries that ONE little lie causes. Like, yesterday, it was thunderstorming in a big way. Even I am not mean enough to make the boy walk home in weather like that. But, I can't know he's walking home, so I can't just show up to give him a ride home. So, then I call him and he tells me he has a ride, that he's working late anyway, which is supposed to mean that he's walking home...you see the position I am in. And I am a horrible liar. I HATE having to lie. I don't understand why we just cannot be open with things. But the boy wants me to believe him when he tells me other stuff. It just doesn't work like that. If you are going to lie about something SO stupid, then you just don't have my back. He cannot see that it is that very kind of behavior that got him into this mess in the first place. My heart aches for my oldest child. I'm afraid he may be lost to us. I would feel more like it was my fault except for the hordes of other kids around us that are not that way. The numbers do not lie. He is of the impression at this point in his life that being a victim is going to pave the way and give him what he needs. He has yet to figure out that being a victim only limits your choices. But, then again, he's afraid of success, too, and I haven't a clue what to do about that, either. Truth be told, I don't like him and what he stands for at this point in time. I love him. I will always love him. But, right now, I don't like him and I'm not very proud of him.
My other kids are awesome, though, all of them. Poor things have not been getting much attention or credit lately, either. The rest of those kids all during the whole ordeal in Texas were just incredible. They were helpful, non-dramatic and just good people. They are people, too. That is why I call my youngsters "little people" because that is what they are. Little people. I can see it so much in them. All they do is mimic us. It was refreshing to see how little people really handled a crisis. It was funny, but they are all pretty independent kids..after the news, they followed me around, it was like I had little ducklings. It was cool seeing some little kids form the bonds of friendship and trust that are going to last a lifetime. It was cool. There was some fish gut throwing, some chasing around with worms and whatnot..girls squealing and then running back for more. My little dude was un-happy about his older cousin getting all the attention of the girls, though. I have a picture that tells the story, too. It's the other three kids standing smiling, and then little dude...arms crossed, bottom lip out as far as it would go. I took it anyway. My father in law would have. He would have said..."Well, that's how he looks, isn't it?"
Little dude is the spitting image of my father in law. I might have mentioned that before. My father in law's beautiful blue eyes live on in him, with the same twinkle. Strangely enough, my 20 yr old looks the same, too, they pulled out a picture of my father in law at the same age and it made Mom cry the resemblance was so uncanny. My 20 yr old is VERY much like him in personality too. It could make you believe in reincarnation if he was a baby. Y'all do not know how much I am going to miss that man. I have been so busy dealing with stuff lately, I haven't even had a chance to address that. So many of our conversations were eye contact only so I don't have like a ton of stories to tell. I can remember every conversation I ever had with him. He told me once on the phone that I did a great job with the boys. I will treasure those words forever. I wish I had been more graceful with my thank you.
I'm having dental work done, finally. I am sick of it. I'll probably still be looking rather hideous for the blog meet, but oh well..that's what I'll look like. I had an appointment the other day and I was totally surprised. It took 15 min. from the time I walked in the door to the time I walked out, having paid and he numbed me up and pulled 3 teeth in that time as well. I'm like, whoa, a NASCAR dentist??? I was still shaking from the adrenaline of having teeth yanked out of your head, right..getting in the hot rod for the ride home. Yes, my love for the hot rod is that deep. I will drive it to the dentist if that's the only way I get to drive it. Hey, whatever works, right?
I don't really have any moral to the story right now. I am certain that the lightbulb will come on shortly, but right now, I guess it's time to just feel the pain. I can worry about what it all means later, I suppose.
It's because I'm always thinking. Never, ever is my mind just a blank. It is sometimes hard to corral those thoughts and pick the right one to pay attention to, but hey, I'd rather have that problem than not having enough thoughts. Is that possible, even???
So, my oldest kid is forced to walk home from work now. It's 8 miles. But, I am not allowed to know this. He calls US and tells us he's working late. Now, this to me seems just plain assed stupid. Why in the hell would you lie about something like that???? And, I have to protect the identity of my informant lest I compromise my source. That's important. But, my informant is getting the brunt of all these little quandaries that ONE little lie causes. Like, yesterday, it was thunderstorming in a big way. Even I am not mean enough to make the boy walk home in weather like that. But, I can't know he's walking home, so I can't just show up to give him a ride home. So, then I call him and he tells me he has a ride, that he's working late anyway, which is supposed to mean that he's walking home...you see the position I am in. And I am a horrible liar. I HATE having to lie. I don't understand why we just cannot be open with things. But the boy wants me to believe him when he tells me other stuff. It just doesn't work like that. If you are going to lie about something SO stupid, then you just don't have my back. He cannot see that it is that very kind of behavior that got him into this mess in the first place. My heart aches for my oldest child. I'm afraid he may be lost to us. I would feel more like it was my fault except for the hordes of other kids around us that are not that way. The numbers do not lie. He is of the impression at this point in his life that being a victim is going to pave the way and give him what he needs. He has yet to figure out that being a victim only limits your choices. But, then again, he's afraid of success, too, and I haven't a clue what to do about that, either. Truth be told, I don't like him and what he stands for at this point in time. I love him. I will always love him. But, right now, I don't like him and I'm not very proud of him.
My other kids are awesome, though, all of them. Poor things have not been getting much attention or credit lately, either. The rest of those kids all during the whole ordeal in Texas were just incredible. They were helpful, non-dramatic and just good people. They are people, too. That is why I call my youngsters "little people" because that is what they are. Little people. I can see it so much in them. All they do is mimic us. It was refreshing to see how little people really handled a crisis. It was funny, but they are all pretty independent kids..after the news, they followed me around, it was like I had little ducklings. It was cool seeing some little kids form the bonds of friendship and trust that are going to last a lifetime. It was cool. There was some fish gut throwing, some chasing around with worms and whatnot..girls squealing and then running back for more. My little dude was un-happy about his older cousin getting all the attention of the girls, though. I have a picture that tells the story, too. It's the other three kids standing smiling, and then little dude...arms crossed, bottom lip out as far as it would go. I took it anyway. My father in law would have. He would have said..."Well, that's how he looks, isn't it?"
Little dude is the spitting image of my father in law. I might have mentioned that before. My father in law's beautiful blue eyes live on in him, with the same twinkle. Strangely enough, my 20 yr old looks the same, too, they pulled out a picture of my father in law at the same age and it made Mom cry the resemblance was so uncanny. My 20 yr old is VERY much like him in personality too. It could make you believe in reincarnation if he was a baby. Y'all do not know how much I am going to miss that man. I have been so busy dealing with stuff lately, I haven't even had a chance to address that. So many of our conversations were eye contact only so I don't have like a ton of stories to tell. I can remember every conversation I ever had with him. He told me once on the phone that I did a great job with the boys. I will treasure those words forever. I wish I had been more graceful with my thank you.
I'm having dental work done, finally. I am sick of it. I'll probably still be looking rather hideous for the blog meet, but oh well..that's what I'll look like. I had an appointment the other day and I was totally surprised. It took 15 min. from the time I walked in the door to the time I walked out, having paid and he numbed me up and pulled 3 teeth in that time as well. I'm like, whoa, a NASCAR dentist??? I was still shaking from the adrenaline of having teeth yanked out of your head, right..getting in the hot rod for the ride home. Yes, my love for the hot rod is that deep. I will drive it to the dentist if that's the only way I get to drive it. Hey, whatever works, right?
I don't really have any moral to the story right now. I am certain that the lightbulb will come on shortly, but right now, I guess it's time to just feel the pain. I can worry about what it all means later, I suppose.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Ok, I did have a thought...
Pain is God's way of letting us know we need to change. Period. Just like physical pain, it's a signal to fix something broken. Emotional pain is no different. Well, how the hell are you going to fix it if you don't know what hurts...and I get such a flow of information...and I mean..picture altering information in any given day, it's good to be able to have some damn notes to refer back to..LOL!!! That way there's a history..and hopefully mistakes can be learned from. Nothing pisses me off more than making the same mistake twice...let alone more than that. It's a thing with me I guess.
Then there are those people who are just comfortable playing the victim. They forever just have to be the victim. Once they get over one set of circumstances, they will seek another in which to become the victim. I don't understand what is so attractive about this role. I recognize it, but I don't really understand it. Why would you want to be a victim. All you get at most is a certain amount of sympathy, and even that wears off after people figure out that you thrive on the drama. Hell, life is dramatic enough without making it worse. I just don't get it.
These are the people that will COMPETE to see who has the worse injury. If someone else has something happen to them, then it will have happened to the perpetual victim..only worse. Always worse. And you cannot EVER understand their pain. Do you know how many documented cases of true victims there are??? How in this day and age can you believe that someone cannot possibly understand your pain? Man, trust me...no matter how deep you think your pain goes..there is someone else who has it worse. Trust me on this. Just be damn grateful you're not THAT person. But the perpetual victim WANTS to be THAT person. That's what's sick. That's what they truely desire. Now how in the hell do you fight that?
Then there are those people who are just comfortable playing the victim. They forever just have to be the victim. Once they get over one set of circumstances, they will seek another in which to become the victim. I don't understand what is so attractive about this role. I recognize it, but I don't really understand it. Why would you want to be a victim. All you get at most is a certain amount of sympathy, and even that wears off after people figure out that you thrive on the drama. Hell, life is dramatic enough without making it worse. I just don't get it.
These are the people that will COMPETE to see who has the worse injury. If someone else has something happen to them, then it will have happened to the perpetual victim..only worse. Always worse. And you cannot EVER understand their pain. Do you know how many documented cases of true victims there are??? How in this day and age can you believe that someone cannot possibly understand your pain? Man, trust me...no matter how deep you think your pain goes..there is someone else who has it worse. Trust me on this. Just be damn grateful you're not THAT person. But the perpetual victim WANTS to be THAT person. That's what's sick. That's what they truely desire. Now how in the hell do you fight that?
Some Days
Some days things seem so crystal clear and then other days...clear as mud. Today is a clear as mud day. Those always suck. I wish it weren't so.
Monday, August 21, 2006
Housework Day
Mondays are housework day for me. I'm happy that I'm finally "on routine" for the school year. That sure makes a difference. I thought I was going to do a grocery store run, but it would appear there is no room left in the refrigerator for new food, until the old food gets cleaned out. So, that's my project today. Yippee. Mostly, I'm done. Now I have to wash all the containers out. Oh joy.
That means, instead of being a week behind, I have caught up to where I am only three or four days behind and that's almost caught up!!!
Now for the rest of the story.
It's been 2 weeks since the accident, right? Do you think I have heard ANY part of this story..from him..except for what I witnessed on scene myself? No. Except that he wishes I would believe him. I did tell him that I loved him and that I just didn't want anything to happen to him and he needed to change some things in his life. I don't know what he did with that information, to be quite honest. It appeared that he listened to me...but then, he started bumming rides from his brother ...in the Blazer. I put a screeching halt to that. I told them both that the eldest has had chance after chance and in any other house he would be out on his ass...not only looking for a ride to work, but looking for a place to lay his head at night and looking for the next meal to put in his belly. And, I am WELL within my rights to do that. THAT got them thinking. I said, there are no provisos or quid pro quos or any of that. NONE of the vehicles in this house are to be used to give him a ride...especially to like a friend's house, etc. Deal with that. If my other son had a working vehicle, then he could drive him all over hell's half acre if he so chose, but he ain't doing it in one of OUR vehicle. See, his little twist of it was that since my husband and I swapped cars again (I have the hot rod..WOO HOOOOOO!!!) then it wasn't *my* car. It was his dad's car and I didn't say he couldn't use his DAD'S car to drive him around.
Yeah, boys are like that. Ya gotta get all lawyerese on them. It drives me NUTS too. I mean, be specific, means be SPECIFIC. It's the nature of men, though. Can't change that about them. I do believe I was specific enough the second time around, though. They both had the decency to hang their heads a little and realize that they'd been busted.
Everybody knows it's insanity to do the same thing over and over again and expect different results. Jeez, even I know when to take a stand.
Oh, and my 20 yr old got a tattoo. Yep, and now you've experienced how I got to find out. Sitting in the middle of the garage the other night discussing the Busch race...man, the last two races have been AWESOME..with Robby Gordon and Kurt Bush racing hard in Watkins Glen and then Jr. wrecking Edwards..who had it coming in my personal opinion. He took Jr. out of the Chase ..was it last year? Anyhoo..good racing..love it..old school stuff...and JUST what NASCAR needs...a good rivalry! We haven't had one of those in awhile. Anyway, back to the story....so we're sitting there discussing the turn of events and my 20 yr old just blurts out that he got a tattoo. Well, alrighty then! What can I say about that? I have to snicker and want to live to see him get old and wrinkled, for sure, but the kid has his own health insurance and all of that..and he's smart enough to go to a reputable place, and it's a done deal. But, dayum, to just shock a gal like that...well, nothing really shocks me anymore.
See why it's a joy to do something so mundane as housework???
That means, instead of being a week behind, I have caught up to where I am only three or four days behind and that's almost caught up!!!
Now for the rest of the story.
It's been 2 weeks since the accident, right? Do you think I have heard ANY part of this story..from him..except for what I witnessed on scene myself? No. Except that he wishes I would believe him. I did tell him that I loved him and that I just didn't want anything to happen to him and he needed to change some things in his life. I don't know what he did with that information, to be quite honest. It appeared that he listened to me...but then, he started bumming rides from his brother ...in the Blazer. I put a screeching halt to that. I told them both that the eldest has had chance after chance and in any other house he would be out on his ass...not only looking for a ride to work, but looking for a place to lay his head at night and looking for the next meal to put in his belly. And, I am WELL within my rights to do that. THAT got them thinking. I said, there are no provisos or quid pro quos or any of that. NONE of the vehicles in this house are to be used to give him a ride...especially to like a friend's house, etc. Deal with that. If my other son had a working vehicle, then he could drive him all over hell's half acre if he so chose, but he ain't doing it in one of OUR vehicle. See, his little twist of it was that since my husband and I swapped cars again (I have the hot rod..WOO HOOOOOO!!!) then it wasn't *my* car. It was his dad's car and I didn't say he couldn't use his DAD'S car to drive him around.
Yeah, boys are like that. Ya gotta get all lawyerese on them. It drives me NUTS too. I mean, be specific, means be SPECIFIC. It's the nature of men, though. Can't change that about them. I do believe I was specific enough the second time around, though. They both had the decency to hang their heads a little and realize that they'd been busted.
Everybody knows it's insanity to do the same thing over and over again and expect different results. Jeez, even I know when to take a stand.
Oh, and my 20 yr old got a tattoo. Yep, and now you've experienced how I got to find out. Sitting in the middle of the garage the other night discussing the Busch race...man, the last two races have been AWESOME..with Robby Gordon and Kurt Bush racing hard in Watkins Glen and then Jr. wrecking Edwards..who had it coming in my personal opinion. He took Jr. out of the Chase ..was it last year? Anyhoo..good racing..love it..old school stuff...and JUST what NASCAR needs...a good rivalry! We haven't had one of those in awhile. Anyway, back to the story....so we're sitting there discussing the turn of events and my 20 yr old just blurts out that he got a tattoo. Well, alrighty then! What can I say about that? I have to snicker and want to live to see him get old and wrinkled, for sure, but the kid has his own health insurance and all of that..and he's smart enough to go to a reputable place, and it's a done deal. But, dayum, to just shock a gal like that...well, nothing really shocks me anymore.
See why it's a joy to do something so mundane as housework???
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
The Lesson?
I pulled that wreck post because it just didn't depict the whole story in it's entirety. It wasn't as it appeared. Today I'm going to recreate the scene for you and let everyone take their own lesson from the experience.
It was 1:20ish in the morning. The phone rang. We didn't answer it, one of the other kids did and brought it to us. On the other end of the line was my eldest son. I've wrecked my truck, can you come get me?? It's just RIGHT here, PLEASE? Immediately, I went into calm mode. I could tell that he was panicking and I was just so very tired. So, I told him I'd be there in just a second. My husband asked me what was going on and I explained what I knew, and he said he really needed to get some sleep, could I handle this one? Sure.
So, I got in my truck, drove down a quarter mile or so, wondering where my son was and what he had done to his truck. Then, I saw the blue lights and I thought, "Oh my, he's gone and done it this time." So, I drive on past the scene, surveying it, and I'm wildly looking around for the truck. I did a U-turn at the very next street and pulled up behind the police car, which my son was sitting behind, on the grass. I thought to myself, "Gee, that's a bad kind of place for him to be sitting, if there was no light at all he could be run over." I am still wondering just exactly where the truck was. Then I saw it. About 12 feet BELOW me in a creek bed. So, I got out of the truck and asked my son..."Son, how did your truck get down there?" He looked at me, looked down, kind of kicked the ground with his feet, mumbled something about a deer and swerving to avoid it. I said Ok..and informed him that I was parked in kind of a bad spot. I almost blurted out, how much have you had to drink, but I didn't. I was worried that the policeman would be pissed because of where I parked, which wasn't the safest place to park but there really wasn't another place to park. I could see the police officer doing his checks and preliminary investigation, so I had a minute to run back up to the house, grab my pack of cigarettes, and light one. Not a damn lighter to be found.
Back to the scene I go, and there's ANOTHER car parked in the spot I had just vacated so I pulled in behind him. Who was this, I wondered? Oh, my bi-polar kid. Well, he's not really mine, but one of those that hangs around the house. As well, the tow truck driver has arrived. The tow truck driver lets me know it's going to be about $250 to tow it a block to our house so I let him know to just take it back to his lot, my grown, adult son would be by tomorrow sometime to make arrangements for it to be delivered. As I'm talking to the tow truck driver, bi-polar kid is going.."Kelly, do you have a cigarette?" "In the truck." "Do you have a light?" "Nope."
So, the policeman wants to know who I am, right? He is informed that I am Mom..LOL! And that's what he called me the rest of the time..Mom. Anyway, he comes up and lets me know what he's got and informs me that he has enough to take my son away right now, which I had observed for myself anyway. I just asked him to let me know what to do to post bail and all of that. I am standing there, thinking..Yay. Every mother's wish. To stand by and watch their kid thrown in jail. Yay for me.
So, the cop hasn't done any kind of sobriety test yet. He's explaining to my son taht he has enough to lock him up anyway, but he's going to go ahead and do these other tests. It's obvious already that the kid has been lying his ass off because there were no deer tracks and there was no swerve. He drove straight off, almost saved it once and back down into the creek bed he went.
So, now the fun REALLY begins. As soon as the officer informed my son he was going to have to do a field sobriety test or whatever, my kid starts freaking the hell out. He says he was having a heart attack, that he had a heart attack the week before...blah blah blah. Oh, and right after he wrecked his truck...he went home and slammed 2 more shots. Smart kid, right?
So, he's refusing the field sobriety test. He's a really BAD liar, you see, and it was pretty funny, all things considered. He did have quite the performance going on. The cop sent the tow truck driver down to ask me if he had a heart condition, right? Then bi-polar kid starts to jump in and say, "Yes, he did too have a heart attack last week." I had to deal with him and say, "Kid you're going to have to trust me on this one, he does NOT have a heart condition." This isn't good enough. The performance continutes. The cop calls me down and he says "Mom, have you ever seen him like this before?" I thought he meant drunk, so I laughed a little and said, "Well, yeah." Then he said, No, have you ever seen his HANDS like that before. I had to laugh a little more and say, "Well, no." Then he said "Can YOU do anything with him?" I just very very calmly said, "Son, you need to listen to the man and put your hands down by your side and do what he's telling you." The boy almost started crying then. He says, "But..." and I said, I know but you're going to have to listen to the man, tell the truth and put your hands down by your side. (He had this claw thing going on with his hands, it was too funny, really.) I honestly do not know if he thought that anybody would believe him or what. Then the cop asked me if he had come up to the house. I explained that I really wouldn't know being asleep and all, but that IS something that he would have done.
So, he accepted that he was going to jail, pretty much, and started complying with the cop, which was good. The cop was just about done with him. That guy had a lot of patience, let me tell ya, because we were out there for an hour. Then, the kid passes his field sobriety test. Which, honestly, I was surprised. I think the cop was surprised, too. That does lend some credence to his coupla extra shots story..that and the alcohol that you could smell was what was being sweated out of him. That's a different smell than fresh alcohol. Anyway, then he blew and he blew a .09 which was a lot lower than I had expected given that his truck was in a creek bed.
So the final question for me was did I want to take him home. I actually hesitated for a second, because I wanted the kid to learn. The cop touched my arm and told me then that he didn't think the kid belonged in jail. So, I said, "Yeah, I'll take him home." And the cop chewed the kid out for 5 min or so, broke him down a bit...and then said wait for the case number to file insurance. I told my son to get his ass in the truck and shut the hell up. So, the cop comes back and hands me his card. I stood there dumbfounded and said, "No ticket, even?" And he said, it was a single car accident.
So, that's the story. What a fun night that was.
It was 1:20ish in the morning. The phone rang. We didn't answer it, one of the other kids did and brought it to us. On the other end of the line was my eldest son. I've wrecked my truck, can you come get me?? It's just RIGHT here, PLEASE? Immediately, I went into calm mode. I could tell that he was panicking and I was just so very tired. So, I told him I'd be there in just a second. My husband asked me what was going on and I explained what I knew, and he said he really needed to get some sleep, could I handle this one? Sure.
So, I got in my truck, drove down a quarter mile or so, wondering where my son was and what he had done to his truck. Then, I saw the blue lights and I thought, "Oh my, he's gone and done it this time." So, I drive on past the scene, surveying it, and I'm wildly looking around for the truck. I did a U-turn at the very next street and pulled up behind the police car, which my son was sitting behind, on the grass. I thought to myself, "Gee, that's a bad kind of place for him to be sitting, if there was no light at all he could be run over." I am still wondering just exactly where the truck was. Then I saw it. About 12 feet BELOW me in a creek bed. So, I got out of the truck and asked my son..."Son, how did your truck get down there?" He looked at me, looked down, kind of kicked the ground with his feet, mumbled something about a deer and swerving to avoid it. I said Ok..and informed him that I was parked in kind of a bad spot. I almost blurted out, how much have you had to drink, but I didn't. I was worried that the policeman would be pissed because of where I parked, which wasn't the safest place to park but there really wasn't another place to park. I could see the police officer doing his checks and preliminary investigation, so I had a minute to run back up to the house, grab my pack of cigarettes, and light one. Not a damn lighter to be found.
Back to the scene I go, and there's ANOTHER car parked in the spot I had just vacated so I pulled in behind him. Who was this, I wondered? Oh, my bi-polar kid. Well, he's not really mine, but one of those that hangs around the house. As well, the tow truck driver has arrived. The tow truck driver lets me know it's going to be about $250 to tow it a block to our house so I let him know to just take it back to his lot, my grown, adult son would be by tomorrow sometime to make arrangements for it to be delivered. As I'm talking to the tow truck driver, bi-polar kid is going.."Kelly, do you have a cigarette?" "In the truck." "Do you have a light?" "Nope."
So, the policeman wants to know who I am, right? He is informed that I am Mom..LOL! And that's what he called me the rest of the time..Mom. Anyway, he comes up and lets me know what he's got and informs me that he has enough to take my son away right now, which I had observed for myself anyway. I just asked him to let me know what to do to post bail and all of that. I am standing there, thinking..Yay. Every mother's wish. To stand by and watch their kid thrown in jail. Yay for me.
So, the cop hasn't done any kind of sobriety test yet. He's explaining to my son taht he has enough to lock him up anyway, but he's going to go ahead and do these other tests. It's obvious already that the kid has been lying his ass off because there were no deer tracks and there was no swerve. He drove straight off, almost saved it once and back down into the creek bed he went.
So, now the fun REALLY begins. As soon as the officer informed my son he was going to have to do a field sobriety test or whatever, my kid starts freaking the hell out. He says he was having a heart attack, that he had a heart attack the week before...blah blah blah. Oh, and right after he wrecked his truck...he went home and slammed 2 more shots. Smart kid, right?
So, he's refusing the field sobriety test. He's a really BAD liar, you see, and it was pretty funny, all things considered. He did have quite the performance going on. The cop sent the tow truck driver down to ask me if he had a heart condition, right? Then bi-polar kid starts to jump in and say, "Yes, he did too have a heart attack last week." I had to deal with him and say, "Kid you're going to have to trust me on this one, he does NOT have a heart condition." This isn't good enough. The performance continutes. The cop calls me down and he says "Mom, have you ever seen him like this before?" I thought he meant drunk, so I laughed a little and said, "Well, yeah." Then he said, No, have you ever seen his HANDS like that before. I had to laugh a little more and say, "Well, no." Then he said "Can YOU do anything with him?" I just very very calmly said, "Son, you need to listen to the man and put your hands down by your side and do what he's telling you." The boy almost started crying then. He says, "But..." and I said, I know but you're going to have to listen to the man, tell the truth and put your hands down by your side. (He had this claw thing going on with his hands, it was too funny, really.) I honestly do not know if he thought that anybody would believe him or what. Then the cop asked me if he had come up to the house. I explained that I really wouldn't know being asleep and all, but that IS something that he would have done.
So, he accepted that he was going to jail, pretty much, and started complying with the cop, which was good. The cop was just about done with him. That guy had a lot of patience, let me tell ya, because we were out there for an hour. Then, the kid passes his field sobriety test. Which, honestly, I was surprised. I think the cop was surprised, too. That does lend some credence to his coupla extra shots story..that and the alcohol that you could smell was what was being sweated out of him. That's a different smell than fresh alcohol. Anyway, then he blew and he blew a .09 which was a lot lower than I had expected given that his truck was in a creek bed.
So the final question for me was did I want to take him home. I actually hesitated for a second, because I wanted the kid to learn. The cop touched my arm and told me then that he didn't think the kid belonged in jail. So, I said, "Yeah, I'll take him home." And the cop chewed the kid out for 5 min or so, broke him down a bit...and then said wait for the case number to file insurance. I told my son to get his ass in the truck and shut the hell up. So, the cop comes back and hands me his card. I stood there dumbfounded and said, "No ticket, even?" And he said, it was a single car accident.
So, that's the story. What a fun night that was.
And I thought *I* Was Stressing???
My prayers go out to Dash and Christina who not too long ago I found out were married. Loved each of them separately, but together...WOW, what a team. Anyway, they have sure had their share of stressful events lately, and I'm a bit late reading this post but I want to add my condolences to the list.
May God Bless you.
May God Bless you.
Touched by Angels
The following picture was the reaction that the children had to the news of my father in law's death. It was an incredible experience, to be quite honest. I had the two great grandkids and the youngest 2 grandkids (mine).
All day long, they played like kids, caught fish out of the lake, chased each other, and worried. They kept busy as only kids can do. I quickly realized that an afternoon nap was absolutely out of the question. These kids were going to RUN all day. And, run they did.
They bombarded me with questions when everyone walked out the door. They knew I would tell them the truth. The truth. You don't even lie to your children. Children are not stupid. Those kids knew something was wrong. We had just been there a month previously and they know that we don't come back that soon as far away as we live. Secondly, they overheard things. Like, they overheard that he had a heart attack. My little dude says "Gee, I hope Grandpa makes it." The girl great grandchild said, "Can't you DIE from a heart attack???" Yes, sweety and that's why we're so worried because of the good chance that he WON'T make it.
Can kids handle the truth? Certainly, as long as we can. It would have been kind of screwed up to tell them to not worry and then announce that he had passed. At least that's how it felt to me. And, if he hadn't and they worried for nothing, well, that was better. So, we prayed. We prayed all day long.
Funny thing is, the kids didn't want him to die...unless he was suffering. If he was suffering, they wanted God to end it...or for the doctors to give him a shot or something. Some of the stuff they said and asked...is rather funny, except for the situation involved, you know? It's like a bittersweet humor, in a way.
And, kids are typical. They want to know the most practical things. Their biggest concern was that the bugs and worms were going to get their grandfather. Go figure. Well, it just so happens that he purchased a corrosion proof casket, so no worries there. You have NO IDEA how good it felt to be able to tell those children that.
When the news finally came, I didn't know WHAT their reactions were going to be. I haven't spent very much one on one time with the two greats..but they sure are great. They all grabbed their favorite picture, we all sat on that couch/bed and cried our EYES out, going through a whole box of tissues in the process. Then, they got busy. They started talking to each other and they made up the bed and set those pictures and made sure everything was perfect because they knew everyone else in the family would be feeling sad and there they were....every person that came through the door got to go see this display and get 4 sets of chubby little arms wrapped around them in a tight group hug...with the adult in the middle..it was very cool. It made them feel so much better to be a part of it all...to be able to give and receive comfort..to give back to the adults that give so much to them.
The rest of the family was blown away. I heard someone say, "OOOOH, you guys, and I thought y'all didn't like me anymore." I think she got rather tackled because she had to use the restroom first, so they ambushed her outside the door..LOL.
To be a part of that experience...was incredible. Believe me it doesn't diminish the sadness that I feel for the loss of my father in law, by any means, but to witness the love of those children and to see what they are capable of..that was priceless, no matter what. You see, I also believe in being open with your children about everything. You cannot shelter them and then kick them out of the nest and expect them to know what to do. You have to be there to cope WITH them because they watch you for what to do. Life happens, and it's up to us to give them the skills to cope with it. They can handle it.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Virtues
Recent events have brought to mind how very important certain virtues are. I already knew, but it's been highlighted lately. One virtue in particular that I am thinking of is honesty. There's a simple rule I live by and the lesson did not come easy. Honesty IS the best policy. Always. You especially don't lie to the ones you love. Ever.
True story. When my husband and I were first married, he was scheduled to have his second hip replaced. The degeneration of his hips caused him a LOT of pain. A LOT. So, every so often, I'd see him grimace or make a face or something and I'd ask him if he hurt. He would tell me no. After about a month of this, I had no choice but think that he was mad at me and he was sorry he married me.
Finally, one night I just broke down and asked what I had done to upset him so. He said ..what on EARTH makes you think you've done something? And, I explained..he was a bit crabby and if he wasn't hurting, then he must be mad. Well, it turned out that he WAS hurting, but he did not want to worry me, so he didn't tell me. He lied, in other words. Most people lie for reasons such as these. They are ashamed of your reaction because they KNOW they didn't do right (kids will lie for this reason..you know, to get out of trouble.), they feel as though they are going to be judged, or to protect the ones they love. While all these reasons are good, and it's good to be concerned about your family, it does create an atmosphere of mistrust when you lie. Those are what I would call misguided reasons.
See, the people you love already know something is wrong. They just do, it's the bond. When you lie to them, you only confuse them and their minds will make up whatever to explain away the mood or the sense that something is wrong. This that gets made up in their own mind is most times just so much worse than the real truth, it really is easier to just tell the truth. I could give countless other examples of why lying, even for what you perceive to be someone's own good, is just bad. You don't lie to the ones you love. Period.
You shouldn't lie to strangers either. Geez, you can tell the truth without spilling all your secrets. If someone asks you an uncomfortable question, tell them it's none of their business instead of lying to them. If you find yourself in a bad situation, lying NEVER makes it better and most times just makes it worse. Lying also destroys trust.
Honesty IS the best policy.
True story. When my husband and I were first married, he was scheduled to have his second hip replaced. The degeneration of his hips caused him a LOT of pain. A LOT. So, every so often, I'd see him grimace or make a face or something and I'd ask him if he hurt. He would tell me no. After about a month of this, I had no choice but think that he was mad at me and he was sorry he married me.
Finally, one night I just broke down and asked what I had done to upset him so. He said ..what on EARTH makes you think you've done something? And, I explained..he was a bit crabby and if he wasn't hurting, then he must be mad. Well, it turned out that he WAS hurting, but he did not want to worry me, so he didn't tell me. He lied, in other words. Most people lie for reasons such as these. They are ashamed of your reaction because they KNOW they didn't do right (kids will lie for this reason..you know, to get out of trouble.), they feel as though they are going to be judged, or to protect the ones they love. While all these reasons are good, and it's good to be concerned about your family, it does create an atmosphere of mistrust when you lie. Those are what I would call misguided reasons.
See, the people you love already know something is wrong. They just do, it's the bond. When you lie to them, you only confuse them and their minds will make up whatever to explain away the mood or the sense that something is wrong. This that gets made up in their own mind is most times just so much worse than the real truth, it really is easier to just tell the truth. I could give countless other examples of why lying, even for what you perceive to be someone's own good, is just bad. You don't lie to the ones you love. Period.
You shouldn't lie to strangers either. Geez, you can tell the truth without spilling all your secrets. If someone asks you an uncomfortable question, tell them it's none of their business instead of lying to them. If you find yourself in a bad situation, lying NEVER makes it better and most times just makes it worse. Lying also destroys trust.
Honesty IS the best policy.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Comedy of Errors
Have you ever noticed in a crisis situation, everything that CAN go wrong, WILL go wrong???
So we pulled into the driveway of Mom's house, greeted our nieces and whoever was there, dumped the kids and turned around and headed straight out to the hospital, which was 60 miles away. So, we get to the hospital and all the women are in a tizz because there's something wrong with Mom's car and the truck had a flat tire.
My niece went to unload our luggage and put it somewhere and noticed that the tire was flat. No big deal, her and one of my strapping lads pulled the tire off and went to get it fixed. Mom merely needed power steering fluid.
I'm standing out there in a white t-shirt trying to figure out, number one, where in the hell the fill hole is for the fluid, and then, how in the hell I was going to get the fluid in the hole. It was in a really awkward and wierd spot and do you think the cap could have POWER STEERING FLUID written in English across the top like the book says??? Oh HELL NO. It had a picture of a steering wheel, and a picture of water on it. Way up in the front of the engine compartment, down past all the distributor wires and whatnot. So, Mom is sitting there worried about my t-shirt, bless her heart, and my sister in law fashioned a funnel out of a water bottle and we got the job done. But still.
So, that night I decided I needed to go home because the next day was going to be a bitch. And it was. So, my niece picked up my son from the airport and HER truck's security system just went buggy. Then my other sister in law's car was acting up so she rode with my husband to the hospital. Her car was making some wierd noise..it was the windshield wiper motor, of all things. Never heard that before. The boys were a little torqued because I was doing the diagnosis on her car. Hey, I have a good enough ear to know whether it can be driven or not.
On the way to the hospital, my husband and sister in law hit a racoon. Knocked the air dam out from under the Camaro so they had to fix that when they got to the hospital. Fine. So far, just minor annoyances.
The morning of the funeral, my husband still has to get parts of his uniform together. Those damn combination caps are a bitch to find if you aren't near a military installation. So, we get up at 5am and he runs over to the other house to wake up the other son, comes home, changes clothes, goes to dash out the door again and the car will not start. And it's not the battery. Well, that time it was broken good.
He hops in the truck and is able to get there. My people had stayed up all night the night before and thought, I swear to God, they thought they were going to fight over the back seat back there. You KNOW I told them they were grown damn men, they were too old to fight over seats..get in the fucking car. And we were off.
After it was all said and done, we still had the camaro to worry about and being 105 degrees, it wasn't a fun job. He pulled the distributor, plugs, and plug wires, and changed the coil and still nothing. Turned out to be the ignition control module which is the next thing he would have checked but Mom was done with car troubles by this time and told him to take it to her mechanic, dammit. We said "Yes, ma'am" and did as she said. Car ran a little cooler and got 32mpg on the way home. Awesome. I love that car.
Despite it all, we were able to get where we needed to be when we needed to be there. God was really looking out for us on that trip.
So we pulled into the driveway of Mom's house, greeted our nieces and whoever was there, dumped the kids and turned around and headed straight out to the hospital, which was 60 miles away. So, we get to the hospital and all the women are in a tizz because there's something wrong with Mom's car and the truck had a flat tire.
My niece went to unload our luggage and put it somewhere and noticed that the tire was flat. No big deal, her and one of my strapping lads pulled the tire off and went to get it fixed. Mom merely needed power steering fluid.
I'm standing out there in a white t-shirt trying to figure out, number one, where in the hell the fill hole is for the fluid, and then, how in the hell I was going to get the fluid in the hole. It was in a really awkward and wierd spot and do you think the cap could have POWER STEERING FLUID written in English across the top like the book says??? Oh HELL NO. It had a picture of a steering wheel, and a picture of water on it. Way up in the front of the engine compartment, down past all the distributor wires and whatnot. So, Mom is sitting there worried about my t-shirt, bless her heart, and my sister in law fashioned a funnel out of a water bottle and we got the job done. But still.
So, that night I decided I needed to go home because the next day was going to be a bitch. And it was. So, my niece picked up my son from the airport and HER truck's security system just went buggy. Then my other sister in law's car was acting up so she rode with my husband to the hospital. Her car was making some wierd noise..it was the windshield wiper motor, of all things. Never heard that before. The boys were a little torqued because I was doing the diagnosis on her car. Hey, I have a good enough ear to know whether it can be driven or not.
On the way to the hospital, my husband and sister in law hit a racoon. Knocked the air dam out from under the Camaro so they had to fix that when they got to the hospital. Fine. So far, just minor annoyances.
The morning of the funeral, my husband still has to get parts of his uniform together. Those damn combination caps are a bitch to find if you aren't near a military installation. So, we get up at 5am and he runs over to the other house to wake up the other son, comes home, changes clothes, goes to dash out the door again and the car will not start. And it's not the battery. Well, that time it was broken good.
He hops in the truck and is able to get there. My people had stayed up all night the night before and thought, I swear to God, they thought they were going to fight over the back seat back there. You KNOW I told them they were grown damn men, they were too old to fight over seats..get in the fucking car. And we were off.
After it was all said and done, we still had the camaro to worry about and being 105 degrees, it wasn't a fun job. He pulled the distributor, plugs, and plug wires, and changed the coil and still nothing. Turned out to be the ignition control module which is the next thing he would have checked but Mom was done with car troubles by this time and told him to take it to her mechanic, dammit. We said "Yes, ma'am" and did as she said. Car ran a little cooler and got 32mpg on the way home. Awesome. I love that car.
Despite it all, we were able to get where we needed to be when we needed to be there. God was really looking out for us on that trip.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Snake Killer
Unfortunately, we had more than one death in the family this week. When my oldest son got home, it was to discover that his snake had died and it had been a couple of days.
Apparently, there was a power outage while we were in Texas and the person who had been checking on the animals came over and reset everything and whatnot but when he went to reset the heater in my eldest son's room, he just put it on high. The cage temperature got to about 140 degrees I guess and cooked the snake.
So, it was so bad the night my son flew in, that he had to get a hotel room and miss a couple of days to air out the house and whatnot. The friend is PNG right now, and now carries the nickname "Snake Killer". Man, guys are harsh.
My eldest son, was of course very upset about his pet, although, I'm not all that sad. Me and the snake pretty much had an understanding..he stayed in his cage, I let him live. But, still, I do feel bad for my son. He didn't need to have to deal with that coming home from the stress filled week he had. It pretty much falls into the shit happens category, though. You know, he asked me if he could bring a monitor lizard home. I had to tell him that he was out of his ever loving mind. No more pets in this house. But, yep, I thought it was pretty bold of him to ask for a favor like that all things considered.
Oh yeah, when it rains it pours!
Apparently, there was a power outage while we were in Texas and the person who had been checking on the animals came over and reset everything and whatnot but when he went to reset the heater in my eldest son's room, he just put it on high. The cage temperature got to about 140 degrees I guess and cooked the snake.
So, it was so bad the night my son flew in, that he had to get a hotel room and miss a couple of days to air out the house and whatnot. The friend is PNG right now, and now carries the nickname "Snake Killer". Man, guys are harsh.
My eldest son, was of course very upset about his pet, although, I'm not all that sad. Me and the snake pretty much had an understanding..he stayed in his cage, I let him live. But, still, I do feel bad for my son. He didn't need to have to deal with that coming home from the stress filled week he had. It pretty much falls into the shit happens category, though. You know, he asked me if he could bring a monitor lizard home. I had to tell him that he was out of his ever loving mind. No more pets in this house. But, yep, I thought it was pretty bold of him to ask for a favor like that all things considered.
Oh yeah, when it rains it pours!
To Thine Own Self Be True
This is an operating philosophy I've had for a long time. It doesn't matter what everyone else is doing, it's important for YOU (Me) to do the right thing. And, for YOU (Me) to allow ME (You) to do the right thing. Don't ask me to lie to the ones I love. Ever. It won't happen. That's all it takes for me to be cool.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Crises Over
Yes, plural. The accident was just the icing on the cake. Most of you wouldn't believe the event filled summer I have just had even if I did tell you.
The miracle of it all was that we all made it in time and we all got to be there for him. My job was at home taking care of the kiddos, though. There was 13 people there when he breathed his last. Of course he waited til the grandkids were out of the room and all that was left was Mom and my husband and his 2 sisters. My husband was hugging him goodbye as he went. Apparently he was his irrepresible self until the very end.
The kids spent the day alternating between being kids and worrying about their grandfather/great-grandfather but the one that was going to be affected the most caught a WHOPPER of a catfish. How that kid got that fish up on the bank let alone unhooked and all of that I'll never know. It was around 14 inches long, and weighed 4-5 lbs, I want to say. It was a pretty big one and I can remember whispering a prayer of thanks to God that this kid's day wasn't going to be a total bust.
The oldest kid seems to be properly awakened by the events of the other night, for which I am grateful. Surpisingly, the truck fired right up and is repairable. Whether he bent the back axle or not has yet to be determined, but he might have just bent the wheel. That kid is so lucky..angels were with him. If we had still been in Texas like we talked about being because the memorial service was on Friday, then he'd be in a lot worse shape right now all the way around. Kid wasn't even sore, can you believe that?
Stress in our family seems to come in avalanches and it did again. This period of time in my life I will refer to as the second time the world came crashing down around my feet. Glad to know that I've learned a thing or two about stress management since the last time. Now all I have to do is fix it, which is no big deal, really.
This time next year, I guess I'll be a Texas blogger, though..LOL!
The miracle of it all was that we all made it in time and we all got to be there for him. My job was at home taking care of the kiddos, though. There was 13 people there when he breathed his last. Of course he waited til the grandkids were out of the room and all that was left was Mom and my husband and his 2 sisters. My husband was hugging him goodbye as he went. Apparently he was his irrepresible self until the very end.
The kids spent the day alternating between being kids and worrying about their grandfather/great-grandfather but the one that was going to be affected the most caught a WHOPPER of a catfish. How that kid got that fish up on the bank let alone unhooked and all of that I'll never know. It was around 14 inches long, and weighed 4-5 lbs, I want to say. It was a pretty big one and I can remember whispering a prayer of thanks to God that this kid's day wasn't going to be a total bust.
The oldest kid seems to be properly awakened by the events of the other night, for which I am grateful. Surpisingly, the truck fired right up and is repairable. Whether he bent the back axle or not has yet to be determined, but he might have just bent the wheel. That kid is so lucky..angels were with him. If we had still been in Texas like we talked about being because the memorial service was on Friday, then he'd be in a lot worse shape right now all the way around. Kid wasn't even sore, can you believe that?
Stress in our family seems to come in avalanches and it did again. This period of time in my life I will refer to as the second time the world came crashing down around my feet. Glad to know that I've learned a thing or two about stress management since the last time. Now all I have to do is fix it, which is no big deal, really.
This time next year, I guess I'll be a Texas blogger, though..LOL!
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Somewhere In Texas
Somewhere in Texas a soul was set free. My father in law passed away on Sat. July 22nd. He fought a good fight. He was surrounded by his entire immediate family. All of his children, all but 2 of his grandchildren. He knew the other 2 grandchildren and the 2 great grandchildren were home praying for his safe passage. We are going to miss him and our family took a hard blow that day. But, there were many things to be thankful for as well. Thank you for your prayers.
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