Wednesday, March 05, 2014

Ash Wednesday or Not

That would be today. I already screwed up and ate. Cake and leftover gumbo.

I'm not sorry...I slaved over it and it was good. It's not that I'm being blasphemous or anything, it's just that I spend a lot of time with diabetics in my life and they can't fast.

That's not what I'm here to talk about today, though, that's just the name of the title.

I actually don't have any real point or lesson or whatever to most of my posts. I'm just a chick living my life...muddling along doing the best I can.

Some days are better than others.

These last couple of weeks have left me feeling fairly accomplished in some ways. I haven't had a cigarette since the 10th of February, or thereabouts. Made the switch to the electronic cigarette...which is going well. Passed the beer test, passed the sitting next to a chain smoker test...all that jazz.

Still waiting to feel better, though. I did feel better, and in some ways I feel lots better...I am sleeping better anyway,or I was. However, this weather and I want to say pollen counts are killing my sinuses.

Doesn't matter, though, because the e-juice tastes way better than cigarettes now. Using the e-cigarette as a viable alternative to smoking, has now provided some of the experience that made me fall in love with smoking to begin with. Without the pesky lung disease, stink of smoke, danger to anybody living with you breathing the same air, and not to mention the mess that ashes make.

Wish they'd have had these years ago. I feel fairly certain the tobacco companies would be long out of business, except I guess you still need tobacco to leech the nicotine from.

"Vaping" is what it is called and any of the stores that you go into to purchase your supplies, have a distinct head shop feel to them.

I'm not talking about a cheap piece of crap that looks like a cigarette that leaves you in danger of trying to light it..I'm talking about a battery and a tank.

It was a spur of the moment decision. The Senior Chief and I had been talking about trying them. We have tried damn near everything else out there to try and quit smoking.

I took the girl-kid to the mall in Longview in search of a prom dress, which I scored, big time, but we'll save that for prom. Anyway, I walked past a kiosk ..asked a couple of questions and walked away with a starter kit for way less than I'd spend on a carton of cigarettes. I waited until that Monday to try it and left my pack of cigarettes laying there while I smoked on that instead.

Later that evening, it passed the beer test. It also re passed the beer test on Saturday night.

The big deal is making sure you keep the battery charged, or getting a big enough battery for how much you vape, or smoke.

Anyway, I'm happy with it. I'm happy with how much more energy I have as a result of being able to breathe properly, as well.

Have a great week!

Monday, December 30, 2013

Happy New Year

When Santa dropped by the other evening, this is what he left behind for me. To say I am thrilled is a bit of an understatement.

This is the Springfield XDM 9mm with all the bells and whistles.

Who says diamonds are a girl's best friend?

Seriously, though, my next steps are a familiarization course, and the copious amounts of paperwork and fingerprinting required to get my concealed carry.

And a new purse.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Making a list....

That's what the Senior Chief and I are doing, and drinking a few hot buttered rums while we're at it.

This is the only place I've ever been where you can be wearing shorts on one day and then having an ice storm the very next day.

I can't say I'm unhappy either way, really. If you don't have the cold, you can't appreciate the warmth.

This time of year represents gratitude for me. Gratitude for a multitude of things. A roof over my head, warm clothes, food to eat, the family that can gather, and lately, the wood burning stove.

I'm grateful for new friends and old.

In this gratitude, I find serenity and in serenity I find happiness.

I know people that couldn't be happy if they had it all because you can never truly have it all. There are people I know who can only focus on what they don't have, and those people cause me a mixture of feelings. Sadness and disgust.

Sadness because some of those people I know personally and I cannot allow them in my life. Negativity is catchy and it makes me sad to be around people who are so negative, they will never be happy.

Disgust because I can see many things in their lives that they should be happy about, but they refuse. At this stage of my life, people that are negative, depressing, and ungrateful have no place in my life. It is too short to spend with people who only want to drag you down and be miserable. I choose and I have chosen for a long time...gratitude and happiness.

I'm not talking about grief or sadness...I'm talking about a permanent state of mind. Grief and sadness are temporary. This pervasive negativity makes you want what you threw away and didn't appreciate when you had it, because you wanted something else.

The funny thing is, the more you want, the less you have.

I also know people who in the middle of great tragedy find peace and happiness. They can find good and something to be grateful for in almost any situation. Those people call the good...blessings. Those folks bring out in me a couple of different emotions as well. Admiration and shame.

I admire positive people for the obvious reasons. Positivity,(yes I know this isn't a word) too, is catching. If you surround yourself with positive people, you find your outlook becomes more positive.

I feel shame because sometimes I'm not as grateful or as positive as I should be. Complaining about the cold, instead of enjoying the stove.

Attitude is everything. If you feel blessed, you are. If you feel cursed, you are.

To me, it's about finding joy in the cold, and a hot buttered rum.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Yabu's Obituary

For those that are interested, here is the obituary for Sam. His bride is asking that in lieu of flowers, donations be sent to the Hospice of Almance-Caswell, since they took such good care of him in his remaining days. Godspeed, Sam, you will be missed.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

It Is What It Is

Occasionally, you cross paths with someone in life whom you have respect, but as time goes on, you become friends.

Such is the case with me and Yabu.

Our initial meeting was at a blog meet in Helen about 7 years ago. He actually had two blogs that I liked and bookmarked. One of those blogs, however, was written by a ghost writer, unbeknownst to me at the time.

At that initial meeting, he had a twinkle in his eye, and introduced himself. "Hi, I'm Sam. AKA Yabu." He was a small guy; that surprised me. Like many small people though, he was larger than life.

For my part, I was extremely grateful that he didn't perpetuate the misconception that the ghost writer stories were real. They had a very real feel to them, all the more testament to the actual author.

For his part, he expressed admiration that I was in the process of getting my teeth fixed. As I got to know him, I learned that this particular subject was extremely important to him.

I often heard him express frustration, dismay, and sometimes anger with people he encountered who would not get their teeth fixed.

To be quite honest, I don't understand what the big deal is/was but for him, it was significant.

Later in the evening on the first occasion of our meeting, The Senior Chief, The JuJu woman (Yabu's wife), and another young lady were all standing around telling lies and shooting the shit as wont to happen in settings such as those, when from a hundred yards away or so, all hell broke loose on the banks of the Chattahoochee in the form of fireworks.

And when I say all hell broke loose, this is no lie. A fireworks show such that only Yabu could put on. Right around the fourth or fifth volley, lo and behold, your friendly local constabulary rolls right up to where the four above mentioned were having quiet conversation.

Said policeman opened his door and got exactly one foot out of his car, and BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, another round of fireworks was set off. The young lady went over and leaned on the car door and engaged him in conversation. (She has a thing for uniforms.) He appeared to be fine with it, so The Senior Chief and I just grinned and kept still.

At the same time, the JuJu woman said to the policeman, "I'll get him to stop." and hauled ass across the clearing screaming "SAM, STOP IT. YOU KNOCK THAT SHIT OFF RIGHT NOW."

I'm not certain exactly what happened in the clearing, but I am led to believe that those present on the scene scattered like the wind.

It wasn't long before JuJu woman came back and informed us that the fireworks show was over, and apologized to the policeman, who, at this point seemed relatively unconcerned and was happily engaged in talking to the young lady.

No harm, no foul.

The reason there is a picture of a knife at the top of the page is another story altogether. At another blog meet in the same place, I found myself in an extremely confusing and uncomfortable position. Yabu didn't attend this particular function, but I called him later and told him about the situation. His response was to send me this knife. I have always treasured it, as I have treasured our friendship.

Another time, he nicknamed my son Yabu Jr. after he blew himself up. He helped me laugh about that incident.

Forever etched in my mind is the conversation I had when he knew he was sick. He said to me, "Kelly, baby, I'm dying." (He always called me Kelly-baby..hahaha!) At that moment, I wished that he were a liar, a scammer, a faker, or have any kind of personality flaw that would lead me to believe that this wasn't true. But he wasn't. He was honest to a fault and had this abiding philosophy to the end that "It is what it is." We even had a chuckle over that during this time frame.

I am going to miss his political rants, his gun rants, his superlative gardening advice, and his opinionated preference of the MAC vs. PC.

I'm going to miss the never-ending what if scenarios about when the world ends. We would often have conversations that lasted over an hour about how to procure what you needed, and protect it in case everything went to hell in a handbasket.

In short, I am going to miss my friend dearly.

Save me a seat, Yabu, and light 'em up.

Monday, November 11, 2013

Veteran's Day

I'd like to give a shout out to all the veterans out there and say THANK YOU for your service.

Saturday, November 09, 2013

Thankful...and Sad

I have a lot to be thankful for today. I made it another trip around the sun and that's always a good thing.

Before I go on, though, I would like to say that Yabu and the Juju woman are heavy upon my mind. It has become clear to me that no miracle cure is forthcoming, so I would like to say....

Fair winds and following seas,
may forever you feel, upon your cheek, the salty breeze.
Your spirit lives on in many a heart,
your words captured,and never to depart.
May your loved ones have the comfort in knowing,
to heaven is where you are going.
For all that they have to do is look above,
and they will be reminded of your love.

Have a safe trip, my friend, and light it up when you get there.