Four Key Phrases

There's a few key phrases that will get you by in life. Not too many words to memorize at all, when you think of it, but when put together correctly, is one of the true secrets to being a success and achieving some semblance of sanity..and not.

One of these is "please". When you ask someone and use the word please, you get it much sooner than by demanding that it happen. It says that they are helping you in some form or fashion and most people do things for people for the sheer love of doing it. It makes you feel appreciated before you even do something. When you want anything done that you aren't willing or cannot do for yourself, then please should preface the request.

Another, and it follows the please..."Thank You." Most chores are ..not fun..so you say Thank You when someone does it. Because in a family situation, if someone doesn't do it... then you have to. Appreciation for hard work yields more hard work, as well, it is good to appreciate people for simply being alive. That is what it is about in the first place. Most people work for the satisfaction of a job well done. Period. As well, when someone does something for you that you are not willing to do or cannot do for yourself and someone does it for you, you should say Thank You. ESPECIALLY your family because if you didn't have one, you'd be all alone and all that crap would still have to get done.

Yes, sir..and No, sir..as well as the ma'am variation, are also very applicable in many situations and not just youngster to elder. Equal to equal works as well. It acknowledges the individual's knowledge and mastery of a subject or task and says I respect you. It also places you in a humble position..acceding power and control to the other person. This is why you always say Yes, sir and Yes, ma'am to police people.

It can be used in an ugly way to convey displeasure and the exact opposite, as well. But when used that way, it provokes a discussion and a sharing of ideas instead of a fight.

These are a few key phrases I have taught my children and I live them. I treat them with the same respect I demand from them. I give them the humility I expect from them, because in many ways I do need them. I certainly treat my husband with respect and every day I appreciate him and his hard work and dedication to this family. I am a very lucky woman, as he is a lucky man, but that's his post to write sometime.

Money is irrelevant to this feeling, in a lot of ways. Or, if it isn't irrelevant, then that is why you may or may not be experiencing health problems of some kind or another. Money is relevant simply because it is the means of exchange. You could be getting all kinds of money, but if you are getting bitched at every day and you feel as though your work is meaningless, then how much pleasure do you take in the money you earn? How much better does it make you feel? It doesn't. It's the knowledge of the fact that you produced more than you consumed and the feeling of accomplishment.

Hell, it's not even real important that peeps say thank you...nothing is cool too. You know when you're doing a good job. But, when other people aren't sure...then a please and a thank you, and acknowledgement of learning and progress, with a few simple words...try it. You'll see.

Things That Make You Go WTF????

So, I'm making my weekly trip to the bank and just sitting there listening to things and checking my gauges, not that THAT helps any. The stories of what this car may or may not have been through makes me a little nervous.

The throttle has been sticking lately. A new thing, and a little freaky when it happens. Makes ya feel like naming her Christine, and all. No radio, though, so that part is cool. Not sure I want a radio in it just because of that.

Anyway, I'm sitting in the line, listening to the sweet purr of the engine, when what should overcome my chi but this grating voice..HEY BARBARA! Whoa..what was that? My goodness, I was a bit startled.

I look over and there is a jeep, a nice, fairly new jeep with the dune buggy tires on it and what not. Behind the wheel is a well dressed man, but somehow, I got the impression ...Harley Davidson... nonetheless. The woman is very well dressed, they are both in their mid-sixties or so...well groomed, is the word I am looking for and very clean.

Then she says...HEY BARBARA! GUESS WHAT? ME AND HIM SLEPT TOGETHER LAST NIGHT. Awkward silence and appropriate comment from Barbara who looked like she wished she could just disappear forever behind the glass....funny, she was Peggy when I pulled up...

Then the woman says...AND NEITHER OF US SLEPT IN THE TRUCK!

I mean, this gal was OVER THE MOON! So excited that she could barely contain herself.

Alrighty then. WTF???? I couldn't decide if they were on the verge of divorce and made up or that she's been chasing him for awhile...he was just nodding and grinning, so I was fairly sure that sleeping wasn't what they were talking about..and he finally gave in. He could have been kicking himself for waiting sixty years, who knows. But the part about the truck just kind of messed it all up...

That was the WTF factor.....

Good Conversations

There has been a fair amount of residual drama from Talladega this year that has finally settled. For a time, all kids were banned while I sorted this out because the mental health of my own children and my own people in general is more important than anything else. Suffice it to say that women will make a guy crazy, ha!

As it turns out, as it always turns out, there was a girl at the bottom of the drama. She with her brain chemistry and my son with his..they weren't on the same wavelength. This girl, understands sex, is hypersexual and my guy really cares for her, but not in that way. Due to her own personal history, she just doesn't understand that..well, she didn't...

So, we got to talking the other night, me and this gal, and I explained to her that ...there are many reasons a guy would go crazy because of a girl being with a guy and wanting her just wasn't one of them in this particular case. I said, look, these guys make all kinds of rules for me all the time and it's because they care....period. I hate to say she's like a sister, but that's what it is. She was relieved to understand that. She asked me what to do when he acted that way and I told her to act like his sister and not play head games with him. She was greatly relieved because she cares for him, too, she's just confused a little..ya know? I mean, she just thinks all men want her in only one way...She doesn't understand yet that because she's so not with the head games, intentionally, and that because she knows how to take care of herself, that a guy would feel protective of her just because of that.

It's good for her to learn other kinds of male love here. My guys are very healing like that.

Puhhhleeze..

I'm sitting here just chilling, drinking me a cold beer, thinking about supper when what should my eyes fall upon.

Why, a coloring book. Cool, says I. Coloring books in the summertime, I will never outgrow. Coloring books are just cool, I don't care who ya are. This one is an activity book, as well. Even COOLER! Word searches and such...

However, the cool factor just kept getting hotter and hotter as I paged through this particular book. Halfway through, I was right hot under the collar.

That brings us to today's discussion. Organized Religion. Let's take the first word...organized. Being a master organizer myself there is one thing that I recognize. In order to be organized...someone must be in charge. There has to be a person or person's with the big picture in mind that keeps everyone following the rules.

We'll skip over to the second word for a minute...religion. Again, a bunch of people that get together for a common purpose. What would UNorganized religion be like? Why couldn't we try that instead?

Religion in itself implies organization because that is what it takes when a bunch of people get together. Come on, y'all think of one simple family reunion where there wasn't a bunch of power struggles, fighting, and all over semantics? Churches are like families so it goes to reason that it would be the same, eh? And yet, that is the very antithesis of what is being taught in any given church at any given time.

The very reason to go to church is to learn what the rules are and how to follow them. And all these people involved in the whole process...need to get paid. And what is all this groveling crap that has to go on? I mean, did Jesus die for our sins or not? Judas didn't have to grovel, why should we?

Give me a break. I say skip the middle man, the church and take advantage of all God has to offer...for free. If you cannot look around and see a higher power of some kind, give it whatever name you want, then you are purely blind. Things fit together too well for there not to have been a master plan of some kind. But it doesn't cost money to find it..just open your eyes.

Looks Like...

My blogging schedule just opened up.

The senior chief's business partner has decided that he doesn't want me involved with business things, because I'm a girl, pretty much. So, fine, he can do it.

That's the end result, but we had them over for a barbecue the other day in honor of Army boy...and that idiot was a hair breadth away from asking my son if he killed someone. I swear I wanted to just hit him. THEN, he gets all belligerent and says that he and the senior chief are going to the Indy 500 every year and I said...the fuck you are. He eventually backed down but not before saying that I wasn't allowed to go to the Indy 500 with those guys because...I am a girl. OH HELL NO...

The senior chief didn't hear all of this, of course, but he did hear most of it. The part he didn't hear was when this guy told me that business partnerships were...different...from family. Those kinds of people are like that. But he doesn't doubt, either. He said that this guy is one of those control freaks, that his wife has no access to any kind of money...that what she gets, he gives her in cash. And it has to last.

And as far as the Indy 500 thing goes...he can kiss my redneck ass. I was invited before him and I'll be go to hell if anybody is going to tell me that I can't do something I love because of my gender.

Geez, I thought guys like that had to die out a LONG time ago because they surely don't get laid often with that kind of attitude.

Let me tell ya, though, being around someone like that made me really really appreciate the kind of man the senior chief is, because he would never ever dream of treating a woman like that. He honors and loves women..and for that I love him.

People Pleaser

Have any of you heard that tag? I hate it that it's said..that way. What is wrong with wanting to please people? I like people.

I don't like people because they are so damn suspicious of this trait. I am truly one, who will do what I can to help anyone I come across, within the limits of my abilities, knowledge and all that. I will fetch beers for company, lend a helping hand anywhere..simply because I enjoy it.

That is the reward I get. Most people assume that you are spineless if you are that way, or assume that you have another angle. Being helpful purely for the joy of someone's company or providing help they couldn't have otherwise gotten...people don't get that.

And that is the problem I have with people.

Tramp Stamp?

WTF??? So, Army boy is looking over his car, and he is very pleased but he got all stuck on this sticker HE put on it having to be moved. Well you cannot move a sticker...so I said...Hey kid, it's your car, so before you take that one off you have to find another one to replace it for crying out loud.

It is a cool sticker. We bought a stupid HAT to match it.
And the hat tripped him...because it brought too much attention to the sticker.

WTF again... I mean, it's a chevy bowtie with flames on it. It's not a BAD sticker.

He says it's not the sticker itself..but the LOCATION of the sticker. It's on the bottom of the back window. He has learned in the Army that placement of things is important and he informs me that girls that have a tatoo on their lower back...well, those are called "Tramp Stamps" and he sees that I am the one who drives he car and he doesn't want anybody to even think about asking if I have a tramp stamp.

What a hoot. I do love my posse and I sure miss my buddy.

In a Groove

Let me tell y'all..it has been a busy year. I have come to the conclusion that there are times that you are blogging, and there are times that you are doing stuff to blog about.

I think this year qualifies for some future blog fodder. I don't have time to log it all...but it's a good thing, truly.

I'm glad I started this blog. I wish I had done it when my kids were younger. There is so much you forget...

I had a bumper blueberry harvest this year and that feels pretty good. Blackberries are probably ripe too. I am glad, too..it's like a gift from God. I was thinking of what my Army boy would really like to eat and there is a TON of fresh food in the house, now. My harvest was so bountiful, though, and his favorite food. He and his sister used to just snack through the yard in the summer.

I am making a blueberry syrup to put on his pancakes, which is another favorite food of his. As well, I have enough to do blueberry muffins, which are also some of his favorite foods. It was biscuits and gravy with eggs this morning.

Boy, he might not have seen much action but he sure is trained well. I got up at 5am this morning and stumbled down the stairs to get my soda and as soon as I was at the top of the stairs, he was sitting up. I'm glad to know that. I froze and said.."It's ok, it's just me." and waited until he recognized that..which only took a second. Let me tell ya, though...I am glad that I get it..you know? There was a moment suspended in time...in time it was probably only a second, but I have never went off alert like that. In all these years, I still wake up..awake like that. And that is with ear plugs.

I'm so glad to see him. I'm soaking up every minute. His friends have been in and out and it's been nice. The other night was the first night I could sleep totally relaxed in a long time. It's been a long time since all my kids have been under the same roof, too.

And, it's been so nice. I've missed the company of the oldest one, as well. It was good to see them together and having a good time when we got back. I'm glad that they are close.

I am glad, too, that they don't necessarily live here, either. I like things the way they are. No matter how they are at any given time, that's how I like it. Wierd, huh? Maybe, but it does keep life simpler.

Back...

From Texas. Very, very tired. STILL did not beat my best time of 12 hrs. ALWAYS something in the way..last time, broke clutch..this time..broke windshield wipers and a helluva rain storm.

Tired...mentally AND physically. More on that later...or not. Have got to figure out what the hell happened to my counter stats...sigh.

Army boy waiting for us when we got home. Already drunk and semi-sobered up.

Man that is a long drive.

More soon...

Guess What?

Murphy's Law strikes yet again. As always, the night before we are due to leave for a trip, we are plagued with last minute things that just ..happen. Things that had been previously working just fine, suddenly start to glitch and give fits.

Oh yes, and the cramps. Always. Geez.

So, guess who you think these water places need to call in to make sure all their water stuff is working and they are able to maintain the water rations we're on? Yep. That would be us.

Now, I'm all morbid..man, I watch the news for shit like that because what it means to us at this point in time is work. We've been opposite the national economy forever so pardon my little bit of joy that the economy is tanking a little.

When shit is broke and there are fines being levied and people losing their jobs over it being broke..somehow the stupid paperwork drill, red tape bullshit..just kind of goes away. In those situations, you find that people are very willing to help you help them..and those are who you want to be associating with anyway.

Americans got lazy. It's a fact. Good to know when the chips are down...they revert to their roots and start doing things right again. Buy American used to mean something and still should. Americans are that way, I think.

Well, that's all of an aside I can afford at this point in time. Now it's on to helping prep the cars, the eldest boy's brakes started giving him trouble, thankfully it was something simple.

This after they spent their day putting fires out ..to speak of. It's wierd, the customers don't like it when they can't get hold of us, they are like kids or something..finding one thing after another that you have to do before you get out the door. Crazy, huh? Makes me laugh, it does.

I think I'm going to adopt some of George Carlin's attitude. I watched an interview he did with Roseanne and I think that's the philosophy I will now embrace.

I always did, really...I just never heard it phrased that way before. I like it. It's gonna be what it is, I'm just here to sit back and watch the show.

Garage Ramblings...

Hey, I do use this as a teaching technique. I've had a hard time getting my kids motivated...they want every day to be a party....all kids do, really.

Seriously, though, they are spoiled when you think about how it could be. I'm fine with that, though, really. So, they just got all into this new video game, so I did too. The next thing you know, they are all wanting to WORK and clean and do stuff outside. Ha! Makes me laugh..but they aren't hypocrites and the rules they apply to themselves, apply to mommy, too.

And mommy gets a day off to play a video game and take care of laundry. Who's the loser really?

I love summertime. I never get all worked up about stuff. Things happen, things get taken care of and nobody is stressed. It's only when you add that ..time element..that people get all crabby.

Seriously, though, it's good to let your hair down and play with your kids every now and then. At least once a week. It's good for you...makes you remember how to play again, and it's good for them. Even when they get older.

My oldest and his woman stopped by this weekend and we had a really nice visit. They were both playful and we had a good time. I like his woman because she laughs like my daughter when she knows she's hearing the truth. It's wierd, but she has a couple of mannerisms in common with my daughter, but that one, is cool.

They had a couple of beers over here and then they said they were going around the corner to the neighbor dude's house, who was too tired to get his butt over here...so I just said...Geez, you older kids make me have to watch you more than the younger ones. I mean, I *should* be able to go and take a test drive with the senior chief after a complete brake job on his new truck but nooooo...I gotta WORRY that someone's gonna be all in a hurry, and NOT TO MENTION, I've been cooking for 4 damn hours and then there's gonna be nobody here to eat it? She started laughing because the truth in it all was just...undeniable. And ya know what? They stayed put.

She wants so bad to fit in with the extended family and so I told her that she needed to learn from me and we needed to establish some trust before I ever took her to Texas. I told her their story just leaves too much open for criticism right now and I don't know what she is expecting anyway. I told her that she was going to have to earn any and every thing she got in the form of respect or whatever she wants...and she needs to start right here in Georgia. And that doesn't mean kiss my ass.

Bless her heart, the last 2 times she's been over here, she's had clothes on.

So, it's a delicate balance. It really is. I just play it straight as an arrow and that puts the ball back in ..whoever's court. Then, I don't have to worry that I'm the asshole. I usually know anyway.

Army boy is coming home for a visit soon and I am thrilled to death. I am. I cannot wait to spoil his ass rotton. We have a pretty good schedule worked out for him, too. Oldest is going to pick him up, then we're going to have him for awhile, then he and his younger brother are gonna take a side trip and see their mother in Alabama..(it's Army boy's only chance as she's shipping out to Afghanistan, soon) ..so, as torn as I am about that...I'm good with it, too. I gotta have a conversation with her, I think. The 20 yr old, is going to go along too and that way they both have moral support for all the mental anguish they are put through. It's never about ..them... with that part of their family, it's always about need, need need, never enough, they don't want them there because they love them, they want them there because in their mind, the boys stay home and do whatever the women want. There is no such thing as a want or need or your own, or an aspiration, let alone encouragement to achieve stuff. I'm proud of her for maintaining some kind of separateness as it is.

I guess I gotta go Sandy style and write a post about the dynamics of THAT family. It's interesting, for sure....and kinda quaint in it's own way..but unhealthy in some....ah ha! I think I just found my story setting. OMG...hell yeah!!! Really...

I have been so worried about offending anyone that I know with my writing and whatnot...it's hard to do..someone's feelings ALWAYS get hurt...

But now I have it. Woo HOO!!! Golden Moment!!!

Updating.

In the process of updating my blogroll...figured that way the next time I lost all my dadgum favorites because I was tweaking on the computer....it wouldn't be all lost. Man, I hate reconstructions. Well, I don't..but I do..it's wierd. I did it for a living and I loved it. It's fun to reconstruct other people's screw ups..but your own...ugh.

Anyhoo, if you know I read you and you're not on the list..give me a shout.